Bullying within the work place

[RT/M]

I have just had a phone call from a close friend of mine, she was in tears and not for the first time about her job, apparently her immediate manager and some other horrible cow in the office is belittleing her big time, just about everything she does in both there eyes is wrong, from bad so say grammer in her emails,(She has a degree in english lit how can they say that?) to bking her for things beyond her control in the office, but to name just a couple of things. She is constantly bombarded with work to do she gets put upon big time.
I will say and i mean this she really is a lovely, kind, caring person, and will do anything within reason to help another work collegue. Also i know this for a fact she really is very good at her job as well as a extremely hard working person, as i have done some work for who she worked for before.
If this was happening to me i would go nuts, and probably have a right go back at the ones involved,and end up getting myself fired, but she`s not like that she`s to nice a person.
Unfortunately she has only been there for about 8 months but i have advised her to stick it out until after the bank holiday at least,to give her time to get her head together.
The way i look at it, life can be bad enough already without some sts in the office constantly having a go at you and ruining your life. Eventually she will end up really ill if she carries on there with the constant bullying.
So apart from shooting the bds involved what sensible advice would any of you guys give? Should she just leave? How bad will this look to a potential new employer if she does, whats the best way around this?

[RT/M]

I know she`s good, because i have worked at her place before,and done some work for her. So i know for a fact she`s a hard worker, she`s also very helpful, besides sacking her is not the issue here. I dont believe they intend sacking her, from what she has told me its the constant verbal attack and bullying, she cant handle it no more
Nope she`s definately not a pricktease, she just gets on with her job and does her very best. If i was an employer i would want a load more like her.(If) However i am not an employer. She,s to loyal and conciencious if you ask me.
Its funny a while back she was chatting to someone who used to work there, they told her that they could not wait to get out from there, they treat there staff like st.
I think that sums it up to me.

[don4l]

You say that her manager is belittleing her big time. You also say that she is in no danger of losing her job

Is she a bit "precious"? Maybe this is just normal office banter and she shouldn't take it/herself so seriously? In my company, having the piss taken out of you actually represents acceptance into the "family". It is a very good thing that only occurs after 6 months when the management consider you to be one of the team. We all rib each other, and if the MD gets a good "verbal kicking" then everybody enjoys it, and the MD awards kudos points.

However, I must say that on first reading your post I had thoughts similiar to Tonker's.

Can you say what industry she works in? What position she holds? What sort of things are they saying to her? Most importantly, what age is she?


Don
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[RT/M]

If you are being put down for things that are beyond your control,ie constantly chasing suppliers as well as picked on this is hardly having the piss taken out of you or office banter, its more like office harassment, managers have a duty to respect employees, some not all managers are right fking wkers who think that they can treat their employees like st.
I do know that she is also employed to do 45 hours per week but more often or not she will go in early or stay late (i am talking hours here not minutes) to wait for outside contractors to complete there work and to get more work out of her for no extra whatso ever. me personally i would tell an employer what to go, either they paid me for extra hours or they can get fked.
What does age have to do with it anyway? It dont matter how old or young she is, male, female, black, white, crede whatever, everyone deserves to be treated with the same respect in and out of the workplace.

[don4l]

RT/M said:

If you are being put down for things that are beyond your control,ie constantly chasing suppliers as well as picked on this is hardly having the piss taken out of you or office banter, its more like office harassment, managers have a duty to respect employees, some not all managers are right fking wkers who think that they can treat their employees like st.
I do know that she is also employed to do 45 hours per week but more often or not she will go in early or stay late (i am talking hours here not minutes) to wait for outside contractors to complete there work and to get more work out of her for no extra whatso ever. me personally i would tell an employer what to go, either they paid me for extra hours or they can get fked.
What does age have to do with it anyway? It dont matter how old or young she is, male, female, black, white, crede whatever, everyone deserves to be treated with the same respect in and out of the workplace.

Hmmm.

She needs to find another "friend" to get advice from.

Your views about the world in general, and management in particular, are so wide of the mark that you cannot help her.

The questions that I asked are relevant, and the answers would have helped to shed some light on the situation. Unfortunately, you seem to think that your class principles are more important than your friend's problem.


Good luck to both of you.

Don
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[Grey Ghost]

Bullying in the workplace is far more common place than most people realise. If the OP's friend believes she is being bullied then she needs to take action either via the HR department of her firm or, if they do not have one, seek advice from ACAS on the subject - this is free and only requires them to phone ACAS to start with.

Bullying examples upheld at ACAS include the following:

"Ridiculing or demeaning someone - picking on them or setting them up to fail"

"Overbearing supervision or other misuse of power or position"

"Deliberately undermining a competent worker by overloading and constant critisism"

Certain types of bullying can also be seen as harrassment, which in certain circumstances carries both criminal and civil liability where the employer can be held vicariously liable.

I suggest the person receiving this treatment writes down everythng that has happened to them in the form of a timeline including names and reasons for what they believe to be bullying. If they decide to take this further it needs to be done with a calm and sensible approach via HR or ACAS and see what advice is offered.

[Colonial]

I was bullied in the workplace by an insecure bh who was my manager.

Whole host of things, from hacking into my work email account then emailing clients telling them my work wasn't up to standard to ripping off my own work and claiming it as her own.

She was fired. I have her job.

We have a lot of banter. She was just unprofessional and objectionable. It does happen sometimes.

[RT/M]

Grey Ghost said:

Bullying in the workplace is far more common place than most people realise. If the OP's friend believes she is being bullied then she needs to take action either via the HR department of her firm or, if they do not have one, seek advice from ACAS on the subject - this is free and only requires them to phone ACAS to start with.

Bullying examples upheld at ACAS include the following:

"Ridiculing or demeaning someone - picking on them or setting them up to fail"

"Overbearing supervision or other misuse of power or position"

"Deliberately undermining a competent worker by overloading and constant critisism"



Certain types of bullying can also be seen as harrassment, which in certain circumstances carries both criminal and civil liability where the employer can be held vicariously liable.

I suggest the person receiving this treatment writes down everythng that has happened to them in the form of a timeline including names and reasons for what they believe to be bullying. If they decide to take this further it needs to be done with a calm and sensible approach via HR or ACAS and see what advice is offered.

Thanks for all the help guys, i have forwarded what you have written with regards to the above on to her, its up to her from there on.

[Shatterstone]

My missus was having trouble with her manager for a long time. Our lass tends to take things to heart too much, and her manager was a bit of a cow too, if it had been me in the situation i would have delt with it, and showed i was no pushover. We decided the best option for her was to leave work and go and study for a couple of years, and now shes never been happier. Shes toughening up a bit, and have heard that since she left, the manager has been demoted so it was a good result for all.

if it really is getting bad get the head of personel to have a meeting with her and her manager, and have it all out.

[singlecoil]

Some women do not make good managers. I've had a varied career and every time I have had a run in with the management it's been when a woman was my immediate superior. That might just be coincidence, but I don't think so. It's as if they are not thinking in terms of what's good for the firm, but in terms of enforcing their authority.

I daresay there are many good female managers, though.

[Colonial]

singlecoil said:

Some women do not make good managers. I've had a varied career and every time I have had a run in with the management it's been when a woman was my immediate superior. That might just be coincidence, but I don't think so. It's as if they are not thinking in terms of what's good for the firm, but in terms of enforcing their authority.

I daresay there are many good female managers, though.

2 of the worst direct managers I've had have been female.

However, my General Manager is female and is the best boss I've ever had.

The worst would have to be my former manager. But I'm doing her job now.

[TheCarpetCleaner]

Colonial said:

singlecoil said:

Some women do not make good managers. I've had a varied career and every time I have had a run in with the management it's been when a woman was my immediate superior. That might just be coincidence, but I don't think so. It's as if they are not thinking in terms of what's good for the firm, but in terms of enforcing their authority.

I daresay there are many good female managers, though.

2 of the worst direct managers I've had have been female.

However, my General Manager is female and is the best boss I've ever had.

The worst would have to be my former manager. But I'm doing her job now.

I would agree with the poor female manager comments, when I was employed, did many a temp job in the past.

Worst one was an ex-army millitant 30 year old woman who was just a complete tool.

Head of the callcentre. Never hated anyone so much in my life. She was just c**tish for the sake of it.

[zs]

don4l said:

In my company, having the piss taken out of you actually represents acceptance into the "family". It is a very good thing that only occurs after 6 months when the management consider you to be one of the team. We all rib each other, and if the MD gets a good "verbal kicking" then everybody enjoys it, and the MD awards kudos points.

Please tell me what industry you work in so that i don't end up working in a company similar to yours.

[F i F]

Girls are getting a bit of a bad press, only women I've had as bosses have been Swedes and they've all been OK, worst aspect some have been a bit soft and not pushy enough, but that's the Swedish lagom thing rather than gender specific.

One gaffer (English ex public school) had an openly declared management technique of loading more and more on his staff until they cracked or it was clear they couldn't cope any more. As I say quite deliberate and sometimes it resulted in serious health and /or stress issues, some people hit the wall and just sat there crying. Some, like me, when they got to 125% load just let 30% drop off the end of the desk, and if nobody noticed then it wasn't that important was it?

Anyway the prat got fired as his political ambitions meant he took his eye off the ball,, but a lot of people suffered due to this idiot.

[don4l]

zs said:

don4l said:

In my company, having the piss taken out of you actually represents acceptance into the "family". It is a very good thing that only occurs after 6 months when the management consider you to be one of the team. We all rib each other, and if the MD gets a good "verbal kicking" then everybody enjoys it, and the MD awards kudos points.

Please tell me what industry you work in so that i don't end up working in a company similar to yours.

I'm not so sure that the "industry" is so important here. I think that it is the fact that we all feel so secure in each other's company.

When you have worked in a company for more than 12 years, you have a sense of security. If your boss is a bks, and you can tell him/her, without any fear of reprecussions, then that can be quite liberating.

Don
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[ymwoods]

don4l said:

zs said:

don4l said:

In my company, having the piss taken out of you actually represents acceptance into the "family". It is a very good thing that only occurs after 6 months when the management consider you to be one of the team. We all rib each other, and if the MD gets a good "verbal kicking" then everybody enjoys it, and the MD awards kudos points.

Please tell me what industry you work in so that i don't end up working in a company similar to yours.

I'm not so sure that the "industry" is so important here. I think that it is the fact that we all feel so secure in each other's company.

When you have worked in a company for more than 12 years, you have a sense of security. If your boss is a bks, and you can tell him/her, without any fear of reprecussions, then that can be quite liberating.

Don
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I used to have a job like this, if they paid better I would be back in a heartbeat. It's more like a group of friends working together rather then underlings and manager. The thing is you do not mess about or take the piss however as you have a mutal respect for the manager so it's not like a normal workplace where if you had no rules, everyone would just sit on PH all day

[Google [bot]]

RT/M said:

Thanks for all the help guys, i have forwarded what you have written with regards to the above on to her, its up to her from there on.

I'd say you should forward a link to the thread though for more balance, rather than copy>pasting your favourite parts. Not saying that's what you have done necessarily, just gives her a more rounded view.