Discussion
Here are a few pointers. I'll point out that I am trying to qualify as a barrister and therefore I tend to write my CV in a slighly different, perhaps more old fashioned, way. I have had no shortage of jobs - having had 15 since I properly started working seven years ago. Plus I have been accepted for more whihc I have had to turn down when I've found that the hours or training would clash with my Uni timetable.
Before I start making suggestions I would like to add that of the CVs I've seen, I have been responsible or involved in the recruitment of staff and consequently the scrutiny of CVs in my previous employment, I think that your is quite good. You stick to a consistent format - one of the things which in my view is absolutley key. Presentation is everything! You don't have too many irrelevancies. It makes sense.
Here is my Advice:
1. I think you ought to cut out all the irrelevancies.
1.1In the part where you list the position, company and dates of when you were there you also add "Glasgow" to that. This is irrelevant and ought to be deleted. Do you think a potential employer will not know that Glasgow caledonian university is in Glasgow?
1.2 It is not necessary, when stating the dates you were at an organization, to specifically state the month and the year - the year will usually suffice.
1.3 You state at the end "4 Scottish Highers" before listing them. How about just "Highers:" the reader can see there are four.
1.4 Personally I dont include anything below intermediate Two. I would just cut out your standard grade results.
2. Clarity
2.1 "Marketing and Business Development" in your employment section with Frank Sammeroff. "Marketing and Business Developement" alone is not a job title.
2.2 Overall the way in which you move between the organizations, ie state them could be clearer. Could you space this out in some way.
2.3 Your Address, Email and Phone number section is awfully hunched.
3
3.1 "Always looking for opportunities to challenge myself and grow both professionally
and personally" A sentence shouldn't have two "and"s. How about cutting that sentence down to just that which is before the 1st "and".
3.2 When describing an organization you worked for the the past tense it is always important never to be associated with marketing, business development or any other expansion functions. I was the business developement and marketing manager of a firm that went bust doesn't sound very good, does it? Perhaps you should change the word "was" to "is"
3.3 The sentence "My time at Strathclyde matured me into a young
adult with a better understanding of what I would like to achieve in life." - get rid of that sentence - trust me!
3.3 How about for your certificate of Higher Education just listing the subjects you studied and the grade? "Experienced subjects"? "experienced" what does that mean?
3.4 "Class rep" should be "Class representative" Abbreviations are the work of dogs!
3.5 Member of the student parliament - perhaps you could give an indication what you did there.
3.6 Participated in the Caledonian Student Leader Programme - this needs to be expended - what does this alone add for a potential employer who doesn't know what the caledonian student leader programme is?
3.7 Personally I would list your subjects and grades. I do. I understand why this seems old fashioned. Perhaps you could add more about your dissertation.
3.8 "Studying International Business at Caledonian gave me a broad overview of general
business subjects, along with a great insight into how and why businesses operate
internationally." Remove the comma.
3.9 "Runner up in award for best business plan" You lost - this adds nothing.
3.10 - "Produced 2 consultancy reports for Glasgow based SMEs" great - who were they? Perhaps you could give some detail on each one saying what you did.
3.11 "Quickly learned internal IT systems to a level where I could train other employees" - how about responsible for training employees and then listing the things that you taught them.
3.12 "CRM system" if someone does not know what a CRM system is then this is not going to make sense.
3.13 - Key role in creating marketing department - what did YOU do?
3.14 - Am I to understand that the directors work in the sales department? That is how is literally reads.
3.15 - Working variously - variously?
If I can think of anything else I'll let you know. Good Luck!
Before I start making suggestions I would like to add that of the CVs I've seen, I have been responsible or involved in the recruitment of staff and consequently the scrutiny of CVs in my previous employment, I think that your is quite good. You stick to a consistent format - one of the things which in my view is absolutley key. Presentation is everything! You don't have too many irrelevancies. It makes sense.
Here is my Advice:
1. I think you ought to cut out all the irrelevancies.
1.1In the part where you list the position, company and dates of when you were there you also add "Glasgow" to that. This is irrelevant and ought to be deleted. Do you think a potential employer will not know that Glasgow caledonian university is in Glasgow?
1.2 It is not necessary, when stating the dates you were at an organization, to specifically state the month and the year - the year will usually suffice.
1.3 You state at the end "4 Scottish Highers" before listing them. How about just "Highers:" the reader can see there are four.
1.4 Personally I dont include anything below intermediate Two. I would just cut out your standard grade results.
2. Clarity
2.1 "Marketing and Business Development" in your employment section with Frank Sammeroff. "Marketing and Business Developement" alone is not a job title.
2.2 Overall the way in which you move between the organizations, ie state them could be clearer. Could you space this out in some way.
2.3 Your Address, Email and Phone number section is awfully hunched.
3
3.1 "Always looking for opportunities to challenge myself and grow both professionally
and personally" A sentence shouldn't have two "and"s. How about cutting that sentence down to just that which is before the 1st "and".
3.2 When describing an organization you worked for the the past tense it is always important never to be associated with marketing, business development or any other expansion functions. I was the business developement and marketing manager of a firm that went bust doesn't sound very good, does it? Perhaps you should change the word "was" to "is"
3.3 The sentence "My time at Strathclyde matured me into a young
adult with a better understanding of what I would like to achieve in life." - get rid of that sentence - trust me!
3.3 How about for your certificate of Higher Education just listing the subjects you studied and the grade? "Experienced subjects"? "experienced" what does that mean?
3.4 "Class rep" should be "Class representative" Abbreviations are the work of dogs!
3.5 Member of the student parliament - perhaps you could give an indication what you did there.
3.6 Participated in the Caledonian Student Leader Programme - this needs to be expended - what does this alone add for a potential employer who doesn't know what the caledonian student leader programme is?
3.7 Personally I would list your subjects and grades. I do. I understand why this seems old fashioned. Perhaps you could add more about your dissertation.
3.8 "Studying International Business at Caledonian gave me a broad overview of general
business subjects, along with a great insight into how and why businesses operate
internationally." Remove the comma.
3.9 "Runner up in award for best business plan" You lost - this adds nothing.
3.10 - "Produced 2 consultancy reports for Glasgow based SMEs" great - who were they? Perhaps you could give some detail on each one saying what you did.
3.11 "Quickly learned internal IT systems to a level where I could train other employees" - how about responsible for training employees and then listing the things that you taught them.
3.12 "CRM system" if someone does not know what a CRM system is then this is not going to make sense.
3.13 - Key role in creating marketing department - what did YOU do?
3.14 - Am I to understand that the directors work in the sales department? That is how is literally reads.
3.15 - Working variously - variously?
If I can think of anything else I'll let you know. Good Luck!
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