Being teetotal in todays society.
Being teetotal in todays society.
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Discussion

xjay1337

Original Poster:

15,966 posts

147 months

Thursday 6th November 2014
quotequote all
I haven't had any alcohol at all for about 5 years

I used to have a beer here and there, but never really enjoyed the taste. I've never been drunk, certainly not to feel dizzy or do/say anything stupid. The most I've had in one night was 3 pints when I was about 16 in Malta with my Dad on holiday as we played snooker late into the night, over around 3 or 4 hours so I guess you'd not feel the effects.

I'm probably the only one of my friends who doesn't drink at all and to be honest, the reasons I don't drink are simply because

a) I don't enjoy the taste
b) I don't enjoy the effects (perceived, saying/doing stupid things you'd regret)
c) I have lost 2 friends, (one very, very close) as a direct result of alcohol (one through alcohol poisoning, one through being the victim of a drunk driver incident).

The biggest issue I find is within relationships, I get quite severe anxiety at the thought of a partner going out clubbing knowing full well what goes on at clubs as I find trusting pretty difficult anyway. (I have been a couple of times without drinking, you see things...guys randomly kissing girls [ie mates girlfriends of 3 years...] on the dance floor and what not).

I've got no issues with the idea of going out for a quiet pint at the pub to chat with friends, or going out to a night club and having a few drinks and a dance, and I fully appreciate many people perhaps enjoy the taste of certain beers/ales/spirits but it's simply not something I have any interest at all in. Unfortunately people of my generation (I'm 23) seem to enjoy going out simply to get "smashed" which is just something I don't understand at all and where the bulk of my worries come from.

Does anyone have any insight into this, or share similar experiences or viewpoints?



Edited by xjay1337 on Thursday 6th November 12:18

Cheese Mechanic

3,157 posts

198 months

Thursday 6th November 2014
quotequote all
Sounds like you need to talk to a professional, a psychiatrist, not because you do not drink, but the anxiety etc, possibly a far more important step than telling every man and his dog. Perhaps understand that you wish to be outward to others over your probs, but the vast vast majority, like me,will have not a clue as to how to help in a meaningful informed way.

Craikeybaby

12,060 posts

254 months

Thursday 6th November 2014
quotequote all
I hardly drank at all during my twenties, but that was due to living in the sticks and driving everywhere as much as not really being that fussed about drinking. I still went clubbing etc and had a good time.

Hoofy

79,982 posts

311 months

Thursday 6th November 2014
quotequote all
Couple of things for me (anxiety issue aside - the above poster is right), do you really dislike every single drink? Or only drinks you're "supposed" to drink?

Also, you don't have to drink to get drunk. I go out with others who drink 3-5 pints and I'll just have one cider and then soft drinks all night as I find the taste of subsequent drinks just isn't the same - they taste sour(?) compared to the very first drink of the night.

calibrax

4,788 posts

240 months

Thursday 6th November 2014
quotequote all
I drank at university because it was what everyone did... although not that excessively. But I rarely drink now - like you I'm not a fan of the taste and I'm usually driving anyway. But I'm not teetotal, in hot weather I like a cold drink and have been known to have a pint shandy or a cider, and I use beer or wine in cooking sometimes. And I will have a glass of champagne at Christmas dinner. But I haven't actually been drunk now for at least 15 years.

C0ffin D0dger

3,440 posts

174 months

Thursday 6th November 2014
quotequote all
Sounds like you need to lighten up and have a few beers my friend. All will be better in the world then + you can kiss some girls in the nightclub later smilebeer

C0ffin D0dger

3,440 posts

174 months

Thursday 6th November 2014
quotequote all
P.S. Have you thought about trying Ecstasy?

e21Mark

17,478 posts

202 months

Thursday 6th November 2014
quotequote all
I stopped drinking about 6 or 7 years ago. I occasionally have a weak shandy because I like the taste, but don't miss alcohol at all. I have no patience around drunks either. If people ask why I choose not to drink, I simply say I have an allergy.

mikebradford

3,146 posts

174 months

Thursday 6th November 2014
quotequote all
Intresting topic smile
I drank in my early Youth years! pre pub
Then stopped as i was on medication. This coincided with passing my driving test.
So became the driver for all my mates.
Worked out perfectly and i never missed drinking. Raised a few eyebrows when i explained to women.
Id usually get asked what i was drinking, so would tell people to have a taste.
I was usually on appletise or similar. Nearly everyone would go thats nice. Then turn their noses up when i told them it was non alcoholic.

When i went to Uni, i didnt drink for the first year. But was sooooo bored i started trying different drinks to see if their was one i liked. did the largers, beers etc. alcopops, some were bearable. As i have a sweet tooth.
Eventually found vodka slush puppies were ok. I was a student afterall.
But in fairness i just dont like alcoholic drinks.

So after leaving Uni, i stopped all togther. apart from the odd shandy on a stag do. I just dont drink.
We have alcohol in the house, but it just doesnt intrest me. and its probably been 6 or 7 years since i last had a taste.

Many clients seem to appreciate i dont drink. And its something im proud of.
Most find it more strange that i dont drink tea or coffee lol

Vocal Minority

8,582 posts

181 months

Thursday 6th November 2014
quotequote all
OP - nothing wrong with being Teetotal at all. However the anxiety you suffer sounds a little unusual, and can't be easy to live with - if you are struggling to rationalise you not being interested in drinking and other peoples dinking, maybe some professional help would benefit you.

Hoofy

79,982 posts

311 months

Thursday 6th November 2014
quotequote all
mikebradford said:
Most find it more strange that i dont drink tea or coffee lol
redcard

toon10

7,131 posts

186 months

Thursday 6th November 2014
quotequote all
"Alcohol - Becuase no good story started with someone eating a salad".

Seriously though, it sounds to me like there may be something more deep rooted here and as suggested it maybe worth chatting to a professional about it. Without knowing you, maybe the effects of losing 2 people close to you has played a part in the way you are.

There's plenty of alcoholic drinks that just taste like pop now if you're worried about not having a taste for beer and you don't have to get blitzed to enjoy yourself. A couple of social drinks when out doesn't do any harm.

I know a lad who is 19 and is also teetotal. His father was an alcoholic and quite nasty when drunk so I can understand his stance. He won't even have a glass of wine at Christmas and that's fair enough.

mattley

3,035 posts

251 months

Thursday 6th November 2014
quotequote all
xjay1337 said:
a) I don't enjoy the taste
b) I don't enjoy the effects (perceived, saying/doing stupid things you'd regret)
c) I have lost 2 friends, (one very, very close) as a direct result of alcohol (one through alcohol poisoning, one through being the victim of a drunk driver incident).
So

a) you don't like getting drunk
b) you don't like being drunk
c) you can see why being drunk can be bad

So you don't get drunk.


What's the problem here?

BaronVonV8

397 posts

213 months

Friday 7th November 2014
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I think a lot of it is to do with escapism these days. I find one of the best ways to escape the drudgery of modern life is to have a few invigorating whiskeys and then mash my slobbering, lecherous face into a strippers heaving bosom. You should try it, you might enjoy it.

TheJimi

27,649 posts

272 months

Friday 7th November 2014
quotequote all
I'd echo the idea that you should speak to a professional about your anxiety issues.

Also, drinking alcohol does not by default mean that you start behaving and talking like an idiot. You seem to have that preconception.

First and foremost though, go talk to someone yes

ManFromDelmonte

2,744 posts

209 months

Friday 7th November 2014
quotequote all
Cheese Mechanic said:
Sounds like you need to talk to a professional, a psychiatrist, not because you do not drink, but the anxiety etc, possibly a far more important step than telling every man and his dog. Perhaps understand that you wish to be outward to others over your probs, but the vast vast majority, like me,will have not a clue as to how to help in a meaningful informed way.
Wow, this is the second piece of good advice I have seen on PH today, standards are slipping.


I had a similar discussion last night (in the pub) as there are a few at work who don't drink. Our conclusion was that we would all be fine with not drinking but a lot of things would be more boring when sober and the single guys thought it would be harder to meet and retain girlfriends without drinking due to the relaxing and confidence boosting effects.

It's not about getting smashed for any of us (all late twenties, early thirties), more about having a few to get a bit 'loose'.

hman

7,497 posts

223 months

Friday 7th November 2014
quotequote all
Drink and drugs dont mix

Drink and driving/riding/flying dont mix

Drugs and driving/riding/flying dont mix.

It sounds like you are going to be safer driving/riding/flying/taking drugs than your friends who drink, which is surely a good thing.


May I suggest you use your super powers of not drinking to best effect by always being designated driver/rider/flyer and maxing out your drugs dosage for maximum effect.

Apart from that try not to bore anyone too much about the fact you don't drink and try not to look at those who do drink as maniacs.


PS. the rest of the world think you have issues with alcohol, or are a reformed alcoholic.

e21Mark

17,478 posts

202 months

Friday 7th November 2014
quotequote all
ManFromDelmonte said:
Cheese Mechanic said:
Sounds like you need to talk to a professional, a psychiatrist, not because you do not drink, but the anxiety etc, possibly a far more important step than telling every man and his dog. Perhaps understand that you wish to be outward to others over your probs, but the vast vast majority, like me,will have not a clue as to how to help in a meaningful informed way.
Wow, this is the second piece of good advice I have seen on PH today, standards are slipping.


I had a similar discussion last night (in the pub) as there are a few at work who don't drink. Our conclusion was that we would all be fine with not drinking but a lot of things would be more boring when sober and the single guys thought it would be harder to meet and retain girlfriends without drinking due to the relaxing and confidence boosting effects.

It's not about getting smashed for any of us (all late twenties, early thirties), more about having a few to get a bit 'loose'.
I've had similar conversations with clients and it's amazing how many folk think life would be boring without alcohol. They really do assume that you can't have fun, unless you ingest some sort of chemical (be that alcohol or other drug) but that simply isn't so. In fact, they're being rather naive if they think that their lives are richer for their drinking or drug taking. In fact, a lot more youngsters are realising that fact and taking the decision not to drink. What I do find odd though, is the way some folk will encourage drinking. I've had people be pretty pushy and badger me in to ''just have one'', or ''just have a short then''.

My life is just as rich, fun and fulfilled as any drinker or drug takers. I don't miss it in the slightest. I don't worry about drink driving, about being drunk or losing inhibitions, unless I choose too. Life is anything but boring. smile

Cheib

25,358 posts

204 months

Friday 7th November 2014
quotequote all
Cheese Mechanic said:
Sounds like you need to talk to a professional, a psychiatrist, not because you do not drink, but the anxiety etc, possibly a far more important step than telling every man and his dog. Perhaps understand that you wish to be outward to others over your probs, but the vast vast majority, like me,will have not a clue as to how to help in a meaningful informed way.
Definitely.

I am not sure just because you have friends that have suffered from drink is a reason for you not to enjoy it per se. You could make parallels about all sorts of other things and not do them for the same reason.

My father and grandfather were both alcoholics....I have seen first hand the damage it can do but I do drink BUT I almost only ever drink socially. The only time I really drink alcohol at home is wine with dinner or beer with foods I'd rather have beer with than wine! Asian food for example. I've literally never had a spirit at home and only very occasionally had a cold beer

deckster

9,631 posts

284 months

Friday 7th November 2014
quotequote all
Purity14 said:
OP does not need to see a health professional, he is worried about his partner going out and having a drink without him and snogging other guys.

Solution 1: Get an uglier girlfriend, one that you can leave on the doorstep overnight.
Solution 2: Find a girlfriend that doesn't drink.
But that's nothing to do with alcohol, it's to do with him not being able to trust his girlfriend. Only his girlfriend can answer whether this is a reasonable concern or not but on current evidence, I would suggest the OP needs to look closer to home.