Special needs customers in coffe shop! Delicate situation ??
Discussion
Interested to hear other peoples views on this situation,
We have quite a few special needs visitors to our coffee shop, usually in groups with carers.
Some will sit at a table , usually making loud noises and a bit of a mess which can be off putting to other customers but we have accepted this.
This morning we had 2 carers and two 'carees' in the shop. One was content to sit at a table with the two carers but the other, about 20 ish and at least 6ft was allowed to roam around the shop at will.
He was making v loud noises, banging a cd against surfaces and was very animated, ie waving arms around and peering at people from close up.
A young mum with a 3-4 yr old child was in the shop and was being seriously harassed and obviously was feeling quite threatened by the young man.
I felt the situation was intolerable and went and had a quiet word with the lads carer.
Told him that I felt his 'charge' was being intimidating to customers and could he be encouraged to sit at the table with the others.
A few minutes later the four of them left and the carer I had spoken to said.. 'well you've made us feel uncomfortable now so we're leaving. We will have to log your complaint against us and see what happens !'
I explained that I hadn't complained merely asked that they sat at the table and not wander the shop.
Anyway 5 mins later the shop called me to say one of the carers had returned and was asking to speak to me. So I went back and met the other carer this time.
He said he was more experienced and just wanted to know what had happened. (voice of reason, or so I thought.)
He than more or less proceeded to tell me off for interfering and it wasn't right for me to assume that someone is being intimidated , especially as they had asked when they entered the shop.
I managed to keep my cool at the time but the more I think about it the less cool I am.
Infact this has pissed me right off !
OR is it me ??
We have quite a few special needs visitors to our coffee shop, usually in groups with carers.
Some will sit at a table , usually making loud noises and a bit of a mess which can be off putting to other customers but we have accepted this.
This morning we had 2 carers and two 'carees' in the shop. One was content to sit at a table with the two carers but the other, about 20 ish and at least 6ft was allowed to roam around the shop at will.
He was making v loud noises, banging a cd against surfaces and was very animated, ie waving arms around and peering at people from close up.
A young mum with a 3-4 yr old child was in the shop and was being seriously harassed and obviously was feeling quite threatened by the young man.
I felt the situation was intolerable and went and had a quiet word with the lads carer.
Told him that I felt his 'charge' was being intimidating to customers and could he be encouraged to sit at the table with the others.
A few minutes later the four of them left and the carer I had spoken to said.. 'well you've made us feel uncomfortable now so we're leaving. We will have to log your complaint against us and see what happens !'
I explained that I hadn't complained merely asked that they sat at the table and not wander the shop.
Anyway 5 mins later the shop called me to say one of the carers had returned and was asking to speak to me. So I went back and met the other carer this time.
He said he was more experienced and just wanted to know what had happened. (voice of reason, or so I thought.)
He than more or less proceeded to tell me off for interfering and it wasn't right for me to assume that someone is being intimidated , especially as they had asked when they entered the shop.
I managed to keep my cool at the time but the more I think about it the less cool I am.
Infact this has pissed me right off !
OR is it me ??
We get a good few in very similar to your description i.e. groups of up to 3 with a carer. They can be loud, they can be a bit off putting, they can be very (unintentionally) funny.
And they abide by the same rules as anyone else - don't bother other customers.
We have never had a problem like you've described though - when they get a little high spirited, the carers step in and control the situation and if it doesn't quickly calm it down they take them outside and/or away.
From your description it sounds as if the carers are well out of order in this instance. Behaviour such as that should be calmed down before it gets that loud and antisocial. That reaction would rile me.
Do you know where they are based? A quick, quiet and friendly word with the residential manager may well be in order.
Just as it apparently not your place to decide if any of your customers are offended or bothered, neither is it their place to decide that they weren't.
The banging on the walls etc would annoy me as well - they don't paint themselves.
And they abide by the same rules as anyone else - don't bother other customers.
We have never had a problem like you've described though - when they get a little high spirited, the carers step in and control the situation and if it doesn't quickly calm it down they take them outside and/or away.
From your description it sounds as if the carers are well out of order in this instance. Behaviour such as that should be calmed down before it gets that loud and antisocial. That reaction would rile me.
Do you know where they are based? A quick, quiet and friendly word with the residential manager may well be in order.
Just as it apparently not your place to decide if any of your customers are offended or bothered, neither is it their place to decide that they weren't.
The banging on the walls etc would annoy me as well - they don't paint themselves.
I think the operative word here is "carer". To me that suggests that person is responsible for caring for another, so it is their responsibility to ensure their charge behaves in a reasonable, and acceptable manner.
You have clearly done nothing wrong at all, your job is to try to provide a nice and comfortable environment for all of your customers.
You have clearly done nothing wrong at all, your job is to try to provide a nice and comfortable environment for all of your customers.
As others have said (and my personal opinion is) you weren't wrong to say what you did as long as it was done sensitively and discretely.
I think the issue here lies with the carers not doing their job and getting caught out, hence being rather overly defensive. Working with people with disabilities can be exhausting and you'll probably find they took their eye off the situation for a few minutes while indulging in 5 minutes chat and coffee. Hopefully next time they'll remember they're working and not on a coffee break themselves.
I speak from first hand experience being on both sides of the equation.
I think the issue here lies with the carers not doing their job and getting caught out, hence being rather overly defensive. Working with people with disabilities can be exhausting and you'll probably find they took their eye off the situation for a few minutes while indulging in 5 minutes chat and coffee. Hopefully next time they'll remember they're working and not on a coffee break themselves.
I speak from first hand experience being on both sides of the equation.
Thanks for replies,
Having spoken to staff who 'serve' them regulary they say that they also feel intimidated and indeed scared of them.
One of the two apparently burps in peoples faces and spits , not ideal in an eatery ! as well as the other behaviour mentioned.
I really feel the carers are to blame here, not caring closely enough and then getting 'arsey' when challenged.
I think, as suggested a call to the care home is in order to make my feelings known.
Don't want to infringe their human rights tho'
Having spoken to staff who 'serve' them regulary they say that they also feel intimidated and indeed scared of them.
One of the two apparently burps in peoples faces and spits , not ideal in an eatery ! as well as the other behaviour mentioned.
I really feel the carers are to blame here, not caring closely enough and then getting 'arsey' when challenged.
I think, as suggested a call to the care home is in order to make my feelings known.
Don't want to infringe their human rights tho'
Just because people have special needs doesn't exclude them from being expected to behave reasonably, or their carers attempting to help them to behave as normally as possible
There is a difference between asking people who have special needs to leave because they are threatening/scaring/disrupting eveyrone else and not allowing them in to begin with.
There is a difference between asking people who have special needs to leave because they are threatening/scaring/disrupting eveyrone else and not allowing them in to begin with.
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