Those laughable wine taste descriptions
Discussion
Rather than being honest and saying
"It has a hint of grapes"
you get this sort of thing
https://www.wine.com/product/monte-antico-rosso-20...
"Its elegant bouquet of leather, black cherries, licorice and plums preludes a medium to full-bodied palate where ripe red fruit, subtle notes of vanilla and violets harmonize and linger, interlacing with the soft tannins and silky texture."
So you get leather, cheeries, licorice, plums, ripe red fruit ( not unripe
), vanilla and violets; not bad for about £8 a pop. It has been a while since I tasted a violet....
Does it go well with meat and cheese though?
Anyone get anything even more outrageously over the top ?
"It has a hint of grapes"
you get this sort of thing
https://www.wine.com/product/monte-antico-rosso-20...
"Its elegant bouquet of leather, black cherries, licorice and plums preludes a medium to full-bodied palate where ripe red fruit, subtle notes of vanilla and violets harmonize and linger, interlacing with the soft tannins and silky texture."
So you get leather, cheeries, licorice, plums, ripe red fruit ( not unripe
), vanilla and violets; not bad for about £8 a pop. It has been a while since I tasted a violet....Does it go well with meat and cheese though?
Anyone get anything even more outrageously over the top ?
Not on wine, but we get a similar thing on our works coffee subscription
We get the Steve's Super Secret Stash Subscription (SSSSS) from Hasbean delivered to the office, a couple of days before the beans arrive at the beginning of the month we get a description of where they are from etc and a narrative on the taste. Here are a few from the last few months:
In the cup expect dark chocolate and molasses. Don’t go thinking this will be big and heavy though – that dark, complex sweetness has a clean green apple acidity cutting through and a lovely white grape finish’
‘In the cup I want you to picture a pot of Ski black cherry yoghurt with some fresh blueberries crammed in. Also a white sugar like sweetness and a black fruit sherbet finish, an amazing coffee’
‘In the cup this is a unique coffee from a unique country. Expect caramel and hazelnut, nothing unusual there, but then a big hit of physalis acidity with a lovely delicate floral edge that carries on’
‘In the cup this coffee is a nutty delight, there are walnuts and pecans just jumping all over the place! It’s a really smooth coffee with a great body and an aftertaste of dark chocolate’
‘In the cup this is sultana city, right up front and really on the aftertaste too. You get a punch of black pepper with the sweetness of toffee alongside a great big body + mouthfeel. Glug glug glug glug glug all gone!’
‘In the cup this really reminds me of a Cadbury’s Crunchie! Sweet honeycomb meets velvety melted milk chocolate. There’s also a white grape acidity and yellow plum sweetness on the finish’
I must add it is good coffee, the narrative may also be a bit tongue in cheek.
We get the Steve's Super Secret Stash Subscription (SSSSS) from Hasbean delivered to the office, a couple of days before the beans arrive at the beginning of the month we get a description of where they are from etc and a narrative on the taste. Here are a few from the last few months:
In the cup expect dark chocolate and molasses. Don’t go thinking this will be big and heavy though – that dark, complex sweetness has a clean green apple acidity cutting through and a lovely white grape finish’
‘In the cup I want you to picture a pot of Ski black cherry yoghurt with some fresh blueberries crammed in. Also a white sugar like sweetness and a black fruit sherbet finish, an amazing coffee’
‘In the cup this is a unique coffee from a unique country. Expect caramel and hazelnut, nothing unusual there, but then a big hit of physalis acidity with a lovely delicate floral edge that carries on’
‘In the cup this coffee is a nutty delight, there are walnuts and pecans just jumping all over the place! It’s a really smooth coffee with a great body and an aftertaste of dark chocolate’
‘In the cup this is sultana city, right up front and really on the aftertaste too. You get a punch of black pepper with the sweetness of toffee alongside a great big body + mouthfeel. Glug glug glug glug glug all gone!’
‘In the cup this really reminds me of a Cadbury’s Crunchie! Sweet honeycomb meets velvety melted milk chocolate. There’s also a white grape acidity and yellow plum sweetness on the finish’
I must add it is good coffee, the narrative may also be a bit tongue in cheek.
It's a clever way for a company to raise prices. Make customers feel all posh.
If you sell "beans on toast" at your quaint tourist cafe, you might be able to charge £3. Call it "roasted haricots on Italian ciabatta drizzled in Mediterranean tomato veloute" and you can probably make £5.
If you sell "beans on toast" at your quaint tourist cafe, you might be able to charge £3. Call it "roasted haricots on Italian ciabatta drizzled in Mediterranean tomato veloute" and you can probably make £5.
It's based on using a taste wheel. Might see if i can link a picture online here. I have a simple one I was given years ago when it was explained to me how it works. The outer ring is only about four tastes. The next ring down splits in to more sections, and so on. Think mine has 4 rings, the ones the professionals use might go to 6.
I'd not really thought about how they got those silly reviews but then my local Tesco started a wine club (one of the old shelf stackers there turned out to be rather senior in their wine area and just used to work in his local (Watford) store post retirement. Was a a really enjoyable club and informative. One of the sessions he handed out these wheels and explained how they worked. It does make sense when you see them though you'd never use them to describe a taste to a friend as you'd sound some what daft and/or pretentious.
--- edit
This will do as an example (or original) - looks like I was thinking of the progression in the wrong direction - might see if I can find the one I was given and compare or even scan and post.
I'd not really thought about how they got those silly reviews but then my local Tesco started a wine club (one of the old shelf stackers there turned out to be rather senior in their wine area and just used to work in his local (Watford) store post retirement. Was a a really enjoyable club and informative. One of the sessions he handed out these wheels and explained how they worked. It does make sense when you see them though you'd never use them to describe a taste to a friend as you'd sound some what daft and/or pretentious.
--- edit
This will do as an example (or original) - looks like I was thinking of the progression in the wrong direction - might see if I can find the one I was given and compare or even scan and post.
Edited by dapprman on Wednesday 7th March 16:58
Yipper said:
If you sell "beans on toast" at your quaint tourist cafe, you might be able to charge £3. Call it "roasted haricots on Italian ciabatta drizzled in Mediterranean tomato veloute" and you can probably make £5.
Trick is to quarter the portion size and arrange the beans neatly, maybe in their own ramekin.Gandahar said:
Rather than being honest and saying
"It has a hint of grapes"
you get this sort of thing
https://www.wine.com/product/monte-antico-rosso-20...
"Its elegant bouquet of leather, black cherries, licorice and plums preludes a medium to full-bodied palate where ripe red fruit, subtle notes of vanilla and violets harmonize and linger, interlacing with the soft tannins and silky texture."
So you get leather, cheeries, licorice, plums, ripe red fruit ( not unripe), vanilla and violets; not bad for about £8 a pop. It has been a while since I tasted a violet....
Does it go well with meat and cheese though?
Anyone get anything even more outrageously over the top ?
From that description I immediately assumed it was a red from Italy...and I was right "It has a hint of grapes"
you get this sort of thing
https://www.wine.com/product/monte-antico-rosso-20...
"Its elegant bouquet of leather, black cherries, licorice and plums preludes a medium to full-bodied palate where ripe red fruit, subtle notes of vanilla and violets harmonize and linger, interlacing with the soft tannins and silky texture."
So you get leather, cheeries, licorice, plums, ripe red fruit ( not unripe
), vanilla and violets; not bad for about £8 a pop. It has been a while since I tasted a violet....Does it go well with meat and cheese though?
Anyone get anything even more outrageously over the top ?
to be fair, descriptors like 'vanilla' 'leather' 'tobacco' etc are all fair in red wine. American Oak gives a vanilla/chocolate note, French or Spanish Oak gives more resinous almost piney flavour. 'Red Fruit' vs 'Black Fruit' usually indicates a lighter vs more full body flavour and 'spicy' often describes Shiraz flavour, Pinot Noir can often impart a 'lapsang souchong' quality to the taste.
Beyond that, things can get a little stupid though.
Beyond that, things can get a little stupid though.
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