Cooking disasters?

[Rach*]

Tonight was a disaster

My crackling was soggy
Spuds undercooked
Soya milk does not make Yorkshire puddings
Spilt first batter mix on the floor

Burnt my fingers draining al dente spuds


Other disaster would be trying to boil milk in a kettle about 10 years ago


What are your disasters? (make me feel better)

[4nonymous]

Setting a cloth alight. I was cooking something and I placed the cloth down next to the pan and a corner of it went under the pan and caught alight. Didn't know this, walked of for 2-3 minutes and came back to a burning cloth

[Pferdestarke]

I wasted £7 worth of squid and £3 on cooking oil recently when my tempura failed. Miserably.

My o/h made a pizza on some Moroccan flat bread earlier which included some chorizo bought from Anthony Flynn's Charcutterie. She went upstairs and forgot about it. Cremated!

[CrashTD]

Pass the salad

Said bag of salad place on the stove (stupid electric hob)

Melted plastic on the hob and destroyed the salad.

[dontfollowme]

Made a pork chilli with lamb mince by mistake Wondered why it was so fatty before it clicked.

[grumbledoak]

I've had plenty. Most recent was an experiment with balsamic on brussels sprouts; not nice but it didn't ruin the rest of the meal. But I've slung whole meals out and ordered pizza many a time. No shame in it- you learn best from your mistakes.

[FamilyGuy]

Rach* said:

Soya milk does not make Yorkshire puddings

My cook wife used to produce great Yorkshire's with soya milk. After a couple of trial runs resulting in breeze blocks, also good results from the bread-maker with soya too.

However if I'm honest - it's the kitchen smoke alarm that gets its batteries changed most frequently.

And despite me doing a tiny fraction of the cooking - it's mostly down to me

[escort90]

i put some tortilla chips in the grill and stupidly shut the door, turn round 2 minutes later to see smoke pouring out of the grill. pull the tortillas out of the grill and the flames shoot up about 2 foot, not bad for a little pile.

[Simpo Two]

escort90 said:

pull the tortillas out of the grill and the flames shoot up about 2 foot, not bad for a little pile.

Atomic pile?

[Kays vRS]

Not paying attention to what I was doing, and intending to pick up a jar of gravy granules, I once added instant coffee to a casserole.

[escargot]

To many to list. The worst tasting thing I've ever cooked was a beef and guinness stew in the slow cooker. Lob some cubes of beef in, some chunks of potato and a can of Guinness. Wasn't good at all.

[Pferdestarke]

escargot said:

To many to list. The worst tasting thing I've ever cooked was a beef and guinness stew in the slow cooker. Lob some cubes of beef in, some chunks of potato and a can of Guinness. Wasn't good at all.

And you were surprised?

[anonymous-user]

On my first ever cooking attempt i set fire to yorkshire pudding. I haven't cooked since.

[ali_kat]

Paul basted the Roast Potatoes with Galliano once - it was on the side next to the oil...

Leaving the plastic bit on the underneath of the pizza when drunk

[FamilyGuy]

ali_kat said:

Leaving the plastic bit on the underneath of the pizza when drunk

I still ate the edible bits of the pizza tho

[Fifer]

I managed to completely fk up pre rolled pastry.
Not really cooking, but also managed to melt shut my Indian take away whilst waiting for the delivery guy to come back with a forgotten curry ( I was a bit tipsy).

Edited by Fifer on Monday 15th February 00:03

[ali_kat]

FamilyGuy said:

ali_kat said:

Leaving the plastic bit on the underneath of the pizza when drunk

I still ate the edible bits of the pizza tho

God no! It all manages to taste plastic

[escargot]

Pferdestarke said:

escargot said:

To many to list. The worst tasting thing I've ever cooked was a beef and guinness stew in the slow cooker. Lob some cubes of beef in, some chunks of potato and a can of Guinness. Wasn't good at all.

And you were surprised?

Yep. This was a bloody long time ago before I started cooking as a hobby.

[Don]

Beef and Guiness! Those ingredients sound OK. What went wrong, I wonder?

Worst I did was a lamb casserole in the oven - I didn't have any rosemary so I put a double shot of Thyme in it. Bad mistake. Bitter and nasty.

We ate it. It was fuel. But it didn't taste good at all..

[jmorgan]

Five layer caramel topped torte with a hand made flavored cream filling in between each layer. Each layer hand made (no packet malarkey).

Got the temperature of the sugar wrong and the final covering was too thick and rock hard, scored it when it was warm and left to cool. Sooooo try to cut it at the scored mark. No good. Easy says me, point of the knife in a score and tap the back of the handle to crack the caramel. Tap tap, hmmm, try harder. TAP TAP SQUISH..... all five layers collapse and the loverly light filling, all hand whipped, splatters out the sides


So, got a spoon and got to work eating the mess.