People who can't BBQ

[Cotty]

Had a family BBQ yesterday, my dad was on BBQ duty. Big gas BBQ cooking sausages, chicken thighs and drumsticks with some kebabs. He had all three burners on full, usual burn it on the outside to cook it in the insiside

"well you have to make sure they are cooked". Considering he does no other cooking, what makes him think he can cook on a BBQ. He shut the lid as it was flairing up a bit, I watched the temp guage swing past 300 degrees

I turned two of the burners down and shut one off as I did want to eat something resembling food.

I am going to get him over to show how its supposed to be done.

And he nearly ran out of Carling, mind you I should have taken a crate with me

[retrorider]

He doesn't know much about beer either if he drinks Carling...

[Shaw Tarse]

Carlsberg don't do barbies...

[escargot]

Barbecuing is man territory for sure. Unfortunately this does not necessarily translate into good food.

There is however something to be said for charred & overcooked sausages on occasion. Filth isn't always bad.

[V8mate]

escargot said:

There is however something to be said for charred & overcooked sausages on occasion.

I'd love to know what.

[Cotty]

retrorider said:

He doesn't know much about beer either if he drinks Carling...

Says the person who thinks Carling is a beer. Its a lager

[calibrax]

Cotty said:

retrorider said:

He doesn't know much about beer either if he drinks Carling...

Says the person who thinks Carling is a beer. Its a lager

It's still a beer. There are two categories of beer... lagers and ales.

[Deva Link]

I got called upon to BBQ at my in-laws fancy place a few years ago.

My BBQing is ace, and food was all cooked perfectly. I shouted up that it ready, and MIL said "oh - I'll just go and get the starters then".

By the time we'd done that, the food was incinerated.

[hman]

the o/p wasn't witnessing a barbeque, he was witnessing an outdoor gas grill.


Theres a MASSIVE difference.



Next time you go for a barbeque check for coal, if theres none then you are at an outdoor grill. Bad luck..

[remedy]

My housemate did the same thing with the 'BBQ' (in inverted commas for the charcoal boys) last night.

Put sausages on, 30 secs later they were crisping and greying.

So I had to intervene and spent the rest of the evening on BBQ duty.

[Mobile Chicane]

BBQing is like sex.

All men think they're really good at it.

[Simpo Two]

escargot said:

Barbecuing is man territory for sure.

It's oinly upside-down grilling, with sunburn.

[bazking69]

Burners low and take your time. The starving people swarming around me like flies will just have to wait until I deem it ready.

[calibrax]

The purists will tell you the following :

Barbecue : Food cooked slowly near indirect heat/smoke (usually proper meat)
Grilling : Food cooked quickly over high heat (usually sausages/burgers etc)

The name of the device used to cook outdoors in a "barbecue grill" as it can be used for both types of cooking, however it is usually shortened to "barbecue", thereby causing confusion...

Anyway, it's all good. Providing the weather stays ok!

[Pferdestarke]

Well whatever it's called, what Cotty refers to is all too common. I have been to scores of parties where guys have singed the life out of decent food and tried to serve it.

I am renowned for taking over at many a gathering but that annoys me as I cook too much anyway.

Having said that, I could really eat a burnt sausage or burger right now.

[Alex]

calibrax said:

Cotty said:

retrorider said:

He doesn't know much about beer either if he drinks Carling...

Says the person who thinks Carling is a beer. Its a lager

It's still a beer. There are two categories of beer... lagers and ales.

Lager was invented by the breweries to try and get more women into pubs.

[g3org3y]

hman said:

Next time you go for a barbeque check for coal, if theres none then you are at an outdoor grill. Bad luck..

+1 It's all about the charcoal.

[Pints]

I've said it before and I'll say it again, it's all about the 3second rule. If you can hold your hand over the grill for 3secs you're good to cook. If not, it's still too hot.

[Lefty 200 Drams]

Pints said:

I've said it before and I'll say it again, it's all about the 3second rule. If you can hold your hand over the grill for 3secs you're good to cook. If not, it's still too hot.

Ahh, but at what distance?

[Dave200]

Good grief... Is everyone so judgemental that they would openly criticise (and in some cases, take over from) someone who has offered to cook for them? Words fail me...

I consider it rude, to the point of snobbishness, to be anything other than entirely grateful for anything which has been cooked for me. I don't care if someone uses a gas bbq, or spends hours carefully selecting only the finest wood-chippings for a smoker. I don't care if it's a lovingly slow-cooked rack of ribs, or a burnt Tesco value sausage - as long as it doesn't make me ill.
For so many people, these things are about the occasion, rather than concentrating on producing food of the highest quality.

Such ingratitude.

PS - Carling is probably the cheapest, nastiest lager known to man (Skol aside).

Edited by Dave200 on Monday 5th July 12:27