Constructive criticism required, first tune written
Constructive criticism required, first tune written
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Discussion

singlecoil

Original Poster:

35,825 posts

275 months

Friday 2nd August 2013
quotequote all
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfOJ4ePWJZo&fea...

Always difficult to know if a tune that has come from inside one's own head will have any merit, so have decided to subject it to trial by PH.

kiteless

12,556 posts

233 months

Friday 2nd August 2013
quotequote all
Not my cup 'o char, to be honest.

However, it is an example of a talent I know I'll never have; placing a melody over a chordal harmony. I've lost count of the number of times I've been noodling away on the guitar, and accidentally found a nice chord progression that sounds really good (to me!!) but is then discarded as I can't picture / play / hear the right melody to go with it.

I doff my cap to anyone who can do that, especially when it's someone's first proper go at it.

Fair play, fella.

FWIW, I - personally - would change the woodwind melody to a lightly overdriven electric guitar through a volume pedal a la Jeff Beck on 'cause We've Ended As Lovers

driver67

1,093 posts

194 months

Friday 2nd August 2013
quotequote all
As an original tune, yes, it all works and sounds fine.

The video does absolutely nothing to help you here.

The music would be more suited to background for a Japanese porno scene rather than those fkin trees ?

p.s. I only play keyboard / piano badly by ear - bagpipes - read / play competently.


Steffan

10,362 posts

257 months

Friday 2nd August 2013
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An excellent first effort and well done you. I do think that the woodwind theme needs a little more attack but as I say an excellent first effort. As with most things in life the more you do the better you get. Onward and upwards once again! Keep it up. There is a very nice feel to the piece very much a tone poem. Good luck with your efforts.

Edited by Steffan on Saturday 3rd August 08:22

driver67

1,093 posts

194 months

Friday 2nd August 2013
quotequote all
Steffan said:
An excellent first effort and well done you. I do think that the woodwind theme need a little more attack but as I say an excellent first effort. As with most things in life the more you do the better you get. Onward and upwards once again! Keep it up. There is a very nice feel to the peace very much a tone poem. Good luck with your efforts.
Well said Steffan. Marks out of ten = 8 for the music and 4 for the video.


singlecoil

Original Poster:

35,825 posts

275 months

Saturday 3rd August 2013
quotequote all
Thanks for the responses. I agree about the video material, I didn't manage to get what I wanted there, had to make do with the woods near my house and the bright and sunny weather when what I was visualising was something more sort of... 'ethereal' is the nearest word I can come up with to what I actually mean.

I don't at the moment have much interest in making videos that feature the man-made world or people doing things, and am currently wondering how I could produce something that is visually interesting and yet abstract, with no particular meaning at all save what the viewer might wish to add for him or herself.

The music was the important part of the project, and what I really wanted to know was whether I could come up with a tune that was pleasant and not too reminiscent of anything someone else has already done (I've listened to a lot of music over the years, and there is always the danger of remembering something while thinking that I was inventing it).

Mastodon2

14,322 posts

194 months

Saturday 3rd August 2013
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Not a bad tune, not the sort of thing I'd listen to usually but you've obviously got an understanding of chords / melody interaction. The biggest improvement I think you could make musically would be to drop the pan pipes, swap them for a guitar with some delay, chorus and light OD and I think some bends and slides could make it a much more exciting and dramatic piece. At the moment the pan pipes sound like they are just notes going through a MIDI sequencer with no "feel" about them. Bravo for recording the piece and putting it on youtube, and thanks for sharing it with us.

Hoofy

79,993 posts

311 months

Saturday 3rd August 2013
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Sounds decent enough for that kind of music. My only comments
-use a better bass drum (soften the sound? make it deeper?)
-use a different pipe sound
-use a different strings sound

There are so many free VSTs out there. Try this one: http://www.kvraudio.com/product/synth1-by-ichiro-t...
Not the prettiest looking but it's very flexible and there are loads of free patches out there.

singlecoil

Original Poster:

35,825 posts

275 months

Saturday 3rd August 2013
quotequote all
Midi notes produced by a sequencer are exactly what they are, and I would be the first to agree that replacing them a nice guitar track with some feeling would be a definite improvement.


So, bearing in mind that my own playing is nowhere near good enough to attempt to record something myself, if anyone fancies playing something over it themselves, I could supply a version without the pipes (Cubase's 'blown bottle' BTW) and could then put up the improved version on YouTube, and see if I can do something about the video too.

Anyone fancy having a go? I could put a downloadable MP3 on Skydrive) if anyone did.


singlecoil

Original Poster:

35,825 posts

275 months

Saturday 3rd August 2013
quotequote all
Hoofy said:
Sounds decent enough for that kind of music. My only comments
-use a better bass drum (soften the sound? make it deeper?)
Actually a tom, I was trying for a bhodrun sort of sound, will spend some time on that for the next version

Hoofy said:
-use a different pipe sound
Hoping someone will do a guitar track for me smile

Hoofy said:
-use a different strings sound

There are so many free VSTs out there. Try this one: http://www.kvraudio.com/product/synth1-by-ichiro-t...
Not the prettiest looking but it's very flexible and there are loads of free patches out there.
I will look into that,t hanks.

Hoofy

79,993 posts

311 months

Saturday 3rd August 2013
quotequote all
Plex is an interesting one: just plonk those 3 squares wherever you want.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuOOb9E32yE

In action: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_MZ-NqVDhk

Edited by Hoofy on Saturday 3rd August 12:27

singlecoil

Original Poster:

35,825 posts

275 months

Saturday 3rd August 2013
quotequote all
If anyone fancies having a go at playing the melody with a guitar, and hopefully enhancing it, they can get the MP3 file with the current melody set low in the mix here

https://skydrive.live.com/redir?resid=BFAE5C9A89F5...


And without the melody line

https://skydrive.live.com/redir?resid=BFAE5C9A89F5...


If you do this and come up with anything, I'd be delighted if you would record it and email it to me, or put it up somewhere I can download it from, and I will redo the YouTube video (with a credit, or course)

CHamphill

4,097 posts

167 months

Saturday 3rd August 2013
quotequote all
I thought that was a really nice sound. The woodwind built nicely, but maybe needed some more oomph at the end and maybe a slight change of key?

I liked the rhythm loop a lot, but behind it the percussion perhaps needs a little more variety, half-beats, a roll ot two and some occasional cymbals to support main beats.

But very nice indeed Singlecoilsmile

Edited by CHamphill on Saturday 3rd August 19:26

singlecoil

Original Poster:

35,825 posts

275 months

Saturday 3rd August 2013
quotequote all
CHamphill said:
the percussion perhaps needs a little more variety, half-beats, a roll ot two and some occasional cymbals to support main beats.]
Drum tracks are something else I'm st at, and am not expecting to get any better at any time soon. My bass lines lack imagination and talent too. Chords and melody are good fun though. I do prefer the slow stuff with plenty of minor chords.

CHamphill

4,097 posts

167 months

Saturday 3rd August 2013
quotequote all
Don't be too hard on your self; it's really good and you have some talent. I have none, other than a pair of ears. I love minor chords and keys, they make the best music.

Drums etc. I have no idea, but I bet it's pretty hatd to make it interesting, and work.

Hoofy

79,993 posts

311 months

Sunday 4th August 2013
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Just build a drum track and see what happens. It's funny how the sound can appear differently to how you planned it.

GetCarter

31,222 posts

308 months

Sunday 4th August 2013
quotequote all
Not a bad first effort.

You've quantised the gtr track but not the bottle, which is somewhat annoyingly out of time. I appreciate you probably wanted some feel in the tune, but it's too far out to be comfortable.

Your intro and verse are a tad boring with just the two chords, you might consider moving the bass line to add some more harmonic interest.

The 'drums' don't add anthing IMO, and in fact get a bit annoying after about 8 bars.

Lastly... You jump from the verse to the chorus with no 'lead in'. There are many musical ways to do this, usually by means of dominant 7 chords. Might be worth a bit of reading up.

Like all things, one gets better, the more one does. Keep it up.

Better sounds would make the world of difference, but I appreciate it's all cost.

(By the way... This has been my day job for 25 years, so it is possible - though VERY difficult, to make a living at it)

singlecoil

Original Poster:

35,825 posts

275 months

Sunday 4th August 2013
quotequote all
GetCarter said:
Not a bad first effort.

You've quantised the gtr track but not the bottle, which is somewhat annoyingly out of time. I appreciate you probably wanted some feel in the tune, but it's too far out to be comfortable.

Your intro and verse are a tad boring with just the two chords, you might consider moving the bass line to add some more harmonic interest.

The 'drums' don't add anthing IMO, and in fact get a bit annoying after about 8 bars.

Lastly... You jump from the verse to the chorus with no 'lead in'. There are many musical ways to do this, usually by means of dominant 7 chords. Might be worth a bit of reading up.

Like all things, one gets better, the more one does. Keep it up.

Better sounds would make the world of difference, but I appreciate it's all cost.

(By the way... This has been my day job for 25 years, so it is possible - though VERY difficult, to make a living at it)
Thanks for the constructive and detailed feedback, all of which I will bear in mind and try to incorporate into future efforts.

By the way, I'm not held back bv cost, fortunately, although tend not to spend until I know what to buy (which is something I don't know at the moment) but the first thing I needed to do was to find out if my tunes had any merit at all, before I worried too much about the sounds I used.

As for making a living, that ship has sailed, I'm afraid smile I'm already in semi-retirement (supposed to be, but am actually quite busy at the moment).

GetCarter

31,222 posts

308 months

Sunday 4th August 2013
quotequote all
Ah, okay... Well as for kit to make noises from Cubase, the best software is probably Omnisphere for all the 'filmatic' sounds and Kontact with various add ons for piano, drums, organs, perc, strings etc.

Check out the clips from Modern Piano and Dramatic Moods here http://stevecarter.com/m4.htm ... Which were both recorded here using no 'real' instruments

Edited by GetCarter on Sunday 4th August 14:28

singlecoil

Original Poster:

35,825 posts

275 months

Sunday 4th August 2013
quotequote all
GetCarter said:
Ah, okay... Well as for kit to make noises from Cubase, the best software is probably Omnisphere for all the 'filmatic' sounds and Kontact with various add ons for piano, drums, organs, perc, strings etc.
That's interesting, would that be the same thing as the Native Instruments Kontact 5? The video of Session Strings Pro sounds impressive.