You know you're a racer if...
Discussion
... You try to hit the apex on a roundabout. And you award yourself bonus points for "running" the kerb.
... You think November, December, January and February are for budget finding and rebuilds, weddings and funerals, births and other trivialities.
... You think of every expense in your life, not in £'s, but in "tyres" or sets thereoff.
... You can think of at least two roads where there are "little bumps that unsettle the car under braking, so you approach them slightly 'off' line".
... You have ended a relationship in the closed season because you knew it was probably gonna blow up during the season... And "you don't want that s
t goin down then!"
... You think a weekend without racing just doesn't feel right.
... When you hear of someone signing on, you immediately think of racing and not the dole.
... You have, on several occasions in one journey, "lined" someone up for an overtake and looked in the mirror afterwards and thought "ha, well schooled".
... You "draft" trucks when travelling on a motorway late at night. And you know what this means.
... You even walk the racing line in your house, kissing the apex (doorframe) on your way from room to room with your shoulder.
... You see "max speed" signs at a tight corner on a motorway as a challenge.
... Your idea of porn is the latest "demontweeks" catalogue.
... You dream of spending the winnings from your inevitable lottery win on racing. You have never thought about how much you would spend on your family.
... You feel sorry for people who think a good weekend consists of "the X-factor". You don't get "the X-factor".
... You have watched the grand prix on a Sunday, often pissed, and watched the pinnacle of motor racing, with the highest paid, fittest, fastest drivers in the world, with the most expensive and advanced cars in the world, endure forces and speeds that only jet fighter pilots experience, and thought "what a cock, he missed that apex".
... You love corners, then think of the best way of "straightening" them out.
... You have at some point in your life, given directions to someone on the Queens highway, where you have graded a corner on the gear it should be taken.
... Someone had attempted to cut up at a junction and you have immediately claimed it as "your corner".
...You time any journey over 100 miles to the minute, and every journey under 100 miles to the second, and believe 100% that no one could ever beat it in the same machinery. Except you, next time, when you will "carry an extra two tenths through that long 4th gear, late apex, right hander with the bump at the entry and the drain on the exit that must be straddled".
... You believe racing is life. Everything else is just waiting.
... You think November, December, January and February are for budget finding and rebuilds, weddings and funerals, births and other trivialities.
... You think of every expense in your life, not in £'s, but in "tyres" or sets thereoff.
... You can think of at least two roads where there are "little bumps that unsettle the car under braking, so you approach them slightly 'off' line".
... You have ended a relationship in the closed season because you knew it was probably gonna blow up during the season... And "you don't want that s
t goin down then!"... You think a weekend without racing just doesn't feel right.
... When you hear of someone signing on, you immediately think of racing and not the dole.
... You have, on several occasions in one journey, "lined" someone up for an overtake and looked in the mirror afterwards and thought "ha, well schooled".
... You "draft" trucks when travelling on a motorway late at night. And you know what this means.
... You even walk the racing line in your house, kissing the apex (doorframe) on your way from room to room with your shoulder.
... You see "max speed" signs at a tight corner on a motorway as a challenge.
... Your idea of porn is the latest "demontweeks" catalogue.
... You dream of spending the winnings from your inevitable lottery win on racing. You have never thought about how much you would spend on your family.
... You feel sorry for people who think a good weekend consists of "the X-factor". You don't get "the X-factor".
... You have watched the grand prix on a Sunday, often pissed, and watched the pinnacle of motor racing, with the highest paid, fittest, fastest drivers in the world, with the most expensive and advanced cars in the world, endure forces and speeds that only jet fighter pilots experience, and thought "what a cock, he missed that apex".
... You love corners, then think of the best way of "straightening" them out.
... You have at some point in your life, given directions to someone on the Queens highway, where you have graded a corner on the gear it should be taken.
... Someone had attempted to cut up at a junction and you have immediately claimed it as "your corner".
...You time any journey over 100 miles to the minute, and every journey under 100 miles to the second, and believe 100% that no one could ever beat it in the same machinery. Except you, next time, when you will "carry an extra two tenths through that long 4th gear, late apex, right hander with the bump at the entry and the drain on the exit that must be straddled".
... You believe racing is life. Everything else is just waiting.
very good OP! i was once approaching a roundabout in my van behind a car which had just over taken me. for some reason i forgot were i was and decided to late break and catch him under breaking as i knew he had more power down the straights. it was only when i very nearly went into the back of him i woke from my daze to the fact i was on a public highway.
but who breaks that early for a bend anyway. he s losing at least a second a lap.
but who breaks that early for a bend anyway. he s losing at least a second a lap.
.aka_kerrly said:
On the motorways or roads with cat eyes you try and change lanes without touching them.
So I'm not the only person that does this!Also:
When you take every corner in Tesco with your trolley in a 4 wheel drift complete with antilag
When overcome with paint fumes painting your flat you find yourself doing gymkhana round the furniture
aka_kerrly said:
Where possible you weave around pot holes and man hole covers.
On the motorways or roads with cat eyes you try and change lanes without touching them.
Blip on down changes.
You enjoy an opportunity to reverse/parallel park and treat it like autotest.
yes i do all that, my boss didnt see the funny side of parking my car in the space next to his using the handbrake On the motorways or roads with cat eyes you try and change lanes without touching them.
Blip on down changes.
You enjoy an opportunity to reverse/parallel park and treat it like autotest.
I find myself hitting my inside shoulder on the door frame when turning through doorways in order to "cut" them. When one of the women at work said, "Careful!" I said, "It's alright, I meant to do it... it's quicker" She looked at me wierdly and then I realised that not everyone thinks like I do!
When you buy a second hand motorcycle racing kit bag to keep the pit wall TV, stereo, laptop, power cables,brake cleaner polish etc in as it is easier to have one large very heavy bag rather than 2.
Don't bother unpacking the car between race days (my car has the pit board, pit wall table, 2 chairs and above kit bag in it from yesterday and it will stay like that for the next 2 weeks).
You spend more time looking for bits and pieces the team needs for racing than you do shopping with the wife.
I don't race, I just help out a motorcycle racer.
Don't bother unpacking the car between race days (my car has the pit board, pit wall table, 2 chairs and above kit bag in it from yesterday and it will stay like that for the next 2 weeks).
You spend more time looking for bits and pieces the team needs for racing than you do shopping with the wife.
I don't race, I just help out a motorcycle racer.
I went to a family birthday gathering recently in a local hall, and there was a flyer on the notice board that said "Marshals wanted for Cross Country event". I was ready to sign up to help out at an event with people tearing around in Bowler Wildcats until I realized it was cross-country running.
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