Top 10 excuses for not having a telly license

[E31Shrew]

Bless!!!!

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/5/20090921/tuk-tv-licence...

1. "A pigeon fell down the chimney and broke the aerial so I have bad reception."

2. "My 11-year-old son must have bought the TV during the night. It wasn't there when I went to bed."

3. "My payment card's been stuck in the washing machine so I can't pay."

4. "I've not paid due to my shop only accepting £5 and £10 notes and I haven't got any of those."

5. "I've not been making payments as a baby magpie flew into my house and I had to stay in and feed it until it was ok."

6. "I only use the TV to keep the horses company and one of them is blind so I should only pay half if I have to pay at all."

7. "I can't get the TV out of the box - can you help me?"

8. "My dog watches it when I'm at work to keep him company - not me."

9. "My mum told me to tell you she's not in."

10. "I've not bought a licence as I dreamt I didn't have to and the saying is you've to follow your dreams."

I didn't spell licence correctly so that might count......

Edited by E31Shrew on Monday 21st September 17:43

[Nolar Dog]

"I don't watch live TV"

[Lord Flathead]

12.I don't have a tv

[anonymous-user]

The other excuse not published.

The BBC is an an outdated bloated business model struggling in an ever changing Media market which will in the next 10 have to privatise to justify it over expensive poorman tax..

[Jasandjules]

My neighbour went with "It's not ON is it?" when someone turned up at his door.

[Negative Creep]

Strictly Come Dancing

[jmorgan]

11. Tight git (but use the BBC is a waste of space argument).......

[Kermit power]

How about "because the average fine for not having a TV licence is lower than the cost of a TV licence"?

[SystemParanoia]

"The tv license agents have NO right of access to my property, so being unable to visually confirm they are unable to ascertain beyond all reasonable doubt weather i have a tv or not"

is another popular one

[Beyond Rational]

13. I'm a bit hard of hearing, what's that you say? A shot gun license? I'll just go get the gun....

[Walter Sobchak]

English TV is so dire i dont bother having one

[onomatopoeia]

Nolar Dog said:

"I don't watch live TV"

Which is fine, provided you also don't record live TV to watch later.

[Eric Mc]

14. I can't spell "licence" properly so couldn't find anything about "TV Licenses" on the Internet.

Edited by Eric Mc on Tuesday 22 September 09:24

[patmahe]

"Heres last years one, it should do because they're showing all the same shows again anyway"

[SeeFive]

Dress like the Scottish hotelier with the flute in Little Britain.

Explain that you do not have a TV, but a magic box populated by sprites etc.

something like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDF3epX9v-I

[mat205125]

patmahe said:

"Heres last years one, I only watch Dave"

EFA

[toasty]

Kermit power said:

How about "because the average fine for not having a TV licence is lower than the cost of a TV licence"?

My flatmate and I got hit for £400 for having no licence back in '96. First (and last) time offence.

[Nolar Dog]

onomatopoeia said:

Nolar Dog said:

"I don't watch live TV"

Which is fine, provided you also don't record live TV to watch later.

I don't.

[im]

Walter Sobchak said:

English TV is so dire i dont bother having one

First of all its British TV not English TV...and secondly, I've been around a fair few countries, who's TV is better Walter?

[Mars]

im said:

Walter Sobchak said:

English TV is so dire i dont bother having one

First of all its British TV not English TV...and secondly, I've been around a fair few countries, who's TV is better Walter?

Polish TV seems to have a lot more recently-released movies showing than even Sky (let alone the Beeb) and their news casts a wider net than the BBC, who only seem to think that events in the UK or the Whitehouse will be of interest to the Brits.

It's just a pity my Polish is pretty poor and my wife reluctant to translate their every word.