Lidl gives man £100 after wine 'destroys' his kitchen

[hab1966]

Not just any old wine, but ejaculating wine.

"I placed a corkscrew on the top and the cork slipped straight into the bottle and red wine squirted, or ejaculated if you like, out the bottle all over my white walls."

https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/uk-ne...

[Olas]

He sprayed it across the walls?! Doesn’t he know what mouths are for?

[Sophisticated Sarah]

Olas said:

He sprayed it across the walls?! Doesn’t he know what mouths are for?

Or Roman women. Could have had an awesome orgy

[Drive it fix it repeat]

I cannot get over how st like this is news now. Does anyone give the smallest fk?

[arfur]

Years ago I showed a friend how to open a bottle of wine using just his shoe ...

He then tried it and put far too much energy into it ...

More of a gush than ejaculation ... and very red everything

oops

[FourWheelDrift]

Drive it fix it repeat said:

I cannot get over how st like this is news now. Does anyone give the smallest fk?

It's the Manchester Evening News, I suppose when every other story is about the violent theft of a car off someone's driveway this makes a nice change.

[Sophisticated Sarah]

arfur said:

Years ago I showed a friend how to open a bottle of wine using just his shoe ...

He then tried it and put far too much energy into it ...

More of a gush than ejaculation ... and very red everything

oops

Was that the One Man One Wine Bottle video?

[arfur]

Sophisticated Sarah said:

arfur said:

Years ago I showed a friend how to open a bottle of wine using just his shoe ...

He then tried it and put far too much energy into it ...

More of a gush than ejaculation ... and very red everything

oops

Was that the One Man One Wine Bottle video?

Don't know ... but it involves putting the wine bottle base into the heal end of a shoe and using a wall to smack it against ... pops the cork after a few gentle ish bashes ... most useful in hotel rooms when avoiding corkage costs ;-)

[KTF]

arfur said:

Don't know ... but it involves putting the wine bottle base into the heal end of a shoe and using a wall to smack it against ... pops the cork after a few gentle ish bashes ... most useful in hotel rooms when avoiding corkage costs ;-)

Would it not be easier just to have a corkscrew on you?

[arfur]

KTF said:

arfur said:

Don't know ... but it involves putting the wine bottle base into the heal end of a shoe and using a wall to smack it against ... pops the cork after a few gentle ish bashes ... most useful in hotel rooms when avoiding corkage costs ;-)

Would it not be easier just to have a corkscrew on you?

Always a pain to have to buy a new one after flying in somewhere ... they are considered as weapons at xray