What exciting new taxes should we bring in ?
Discussion
The softening up bombardment has started this morning in the FT and Telegraph for the incoming slap in the wallet that the next twenty years will bring.
The chaps at the Treasury will have done the easy work with no pension relief, new asset, land, wealth, mansion taxes, IHT restrictions, 1p on here, 2p on there, and so on. But surely the collective fiscal genius that is PH can offer them some out-of-the-box suggestions ? For instance
- £10 a pack chewing gum tax. An opportunity to bring in enough money to pay to clean the pavements covered in spat-out gum.
- Footballer spitting tax. £50 for every phlegmy utterance caught on camera. An unassailably positive public health initiative.
- #MeToo non-disclosure tax. Special levy of £100m on any NDA or injunction issued by a billionaire to prevent an employee describing how they've been assaulted by management
- Twitter tax. £1 per tweet. Potential to expand to facebook, tiktok, etc.
- Accessory taste tax. Colloquially, the Halfords Tax. A panel of PH yeoman will be assembled to judge and apply taxes to all non-functional motoring accessories. No appeals. By their spider brooches shall ye know them.
- Escalating take-out tax. Set on a weekly basis, applied to each take-out/delivery meal. Doubles each time. First one 2%, second one 4%, then 8% etc. Can be paid in either cash or in kms run / cycled.
We'll have the deficit sorted in a couple of quarters.
The chaps at the Treasury will have done the easy work with no pension relief, new asset, land, wealth, mansion taxes, IHT restrictions, 1p on here, 2p on there, and so on. But surely the collective fiscal genius that is PH can offer them some out-of-the-box suggestions ? For instance
- £10 a pack chewing gum tax. An opportunity to bring in enough money to pay to clean the pavements covered in spat-out gum.
- Footballer spitting tax. £50 for every phlegmy utterance caught on camera. An unassailably positive public health initiative.
- #MeToo non-disclosure tax. Special levy of £100m on any NDA or injunction issued by a billionaire to prevent an employee describing how they've been assaulted by management
- Twitter tax. £1 per tweet. Potential to expand to facebook, tiktok, etc.
- Accessory taste tax. Colloquially, the Halfords Tax. A panel of PH yeoman will be assembled to judge and apply taxes to all non-functional motoring accessories. No appeals. By their spider brooches shall ye know them.
- Escalating take-out tax. Set on a weekly basis, applied to each take-out/delivery meal. Doubles each time. First one 2%, second one 4%, then 8% etc. Can be paid in either cash or in kms run / cycled.
We'll have the deficit sorted in a couple of quarters.
Tax on celebrity non-entities that pollute the planet by their very existence - more specifically aimed at the reality TV vacuous, vapid, attention seeking over achievers
A tax on anybody who watches any such programme
Tax anybody who watches anything featuring the bouncing Geordie hobbits that front a load of this garbage - the plus side being that if people turn off the media companies will stop paying them a fortune for being s
t and hopefully they will disappear
Additional tax on anybody who votes SNP
That should cover it
A tax on anybody who watches any such programme
Tax anybody who watches anything featuring the bouncing Geordie hobbits that front a load of this garbage - the plus side being that if people turn off the media companies will stop paying them a fortune for being s
t and hopefully they will disappearAdditional tax on anybody who votes SNP
That should cover it
Pieman68 said:
Tax on celebrity non-entities that pollute the planet by their very existence - more specifically aimed at the reality TV vacuous, vapid, attention seeking over achievers
A tax on anybody who watches any such programme
Tax anybody who watches anything featuring the bouncing Geordie hobbits that front a load of this garbage - the plus side being that if people turn off the media companies will stop paying them a fortune for being st and hopefully they will disappear
The twitter tax should cover that more than adequately, and if not an Instagram tax would easily cover the shortfall.A tax on anybody who watches any such programme
Tax anybody who watches anything featuring the bouncing Geordie hobbits that front a load of this garbage - the plus side being that if people turn off the media companies will stop paying them a fortune for being s
t and hopefully they will disappearPieman68 said:
Additional tax on anybody who votes SNP
Have you seen the Scottish rates of Income Tax, especially the tax/NI threshold crossover between £43k & £50k? That's punishment enough for being in Scotland (yes I do have to pay it & fully expect it'll be increasing dramatically).Anyway, more realistically, how about a Facebook post/share tax which should ensure the Angry Karen's can't share any more badly written/fake news articles about Coronafiction within the few days of operation?
Also, a tax on newspaper websites recycling celebrity tweets/Instagram posts as news
A tax on newspapers that report the daily utterances (rantings) of Piers Morgan as though they've been carved on tablets of stone & handed to Moses.
That should cover off most of it.
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