Did you realise it was so bad?
Discussion
Prompted by some of things I heard last week, that related to the vigil for Sarah Everard, I've asked female family members and workmates if they have ever suffered sexual assaults and what they do to protect themselves? (It does strike me as being odd that women should even have to consider 'protecting themselves' should they ever venture out after dark!)
Every woman I asked (about 26 in total) had a story to tell of when they were attacked, assaulted or exposed to by a man. They ranged from someone pushing their penis against them whilst stood on a busy train, to full rape.
I never appreciated just how prevalent these kind of assaults really were or how normalised they appear to be in society.
Every woman I asked (about 26 in total) had a story to tell of when they were attacked, assaulted or exposed to by a man. They ranged from someone pushing their penis against them whilst stood on a busy train, to full rape.
I never appreciated just how prevalent these kind of assaults really were or how normalised they appear to be in society.
It didn't surprise me to be honest.
We have been reading for years that something like 80-90% of women (including school-age girls) have been harassed or assaulted whilst going about their daily lives.
Attitudes are changing, but the problem is that we still have a lot of men who think it's fine to shout comments in the street, wolf whistle, touch, make lewd remarks or jokes, and so on, while either not thinking or not caring that women might find it upsetting or uncomfortable.
There is still a lot of progress to be made unfortunately.
We have been reading for years that something like 80-90% of women (including school-age girls) have been harassed or assaulted whilst going about their daily lives.
Attitudes are changing, but the problem is that we still have a lot of men who think it's fine to shout comments in the street, wolf whistle, touch, make lewd remarks or jokes, and so on, while either not thinking or not caring that women might find it upsetting or uncomfortable.
There is still a lot of progress to be made unfortunately.
Lord Marylebone said:
It didn't surprise me to be honest.
We have been reading for years that something like 80-90% of women (including school-age girls) have been harassed or assaulted whilst going about their daily lives.
Attitudes are changing, but the problem is that we still have a lot of men who think it's fine to shout comments in the street, wolf whistle, touch, make lewd remarks or jokes, and so on, while either not thinking or not caring that women might find it upsetting or uncomfortable.
There is still a lot of progress to be made unfortunately.
I know a few guys that have been asked to leave construction sites and told not to return for this,these rules have been in place for years nowWe have been reading for years that something like 80-90% of women (including school-age girls) have been harassed or assaulted whilst going about their daily lives.
Attitudes are changing, but the problem is that we still have a lot of men who think it's fine to shout comments in the street, wolf whistle, touch, make lewd remarks or jokes, and so on, while either not thinking or not caring that women might find it upsetting or uncomfortable.
There is still a lot of progress to be made unfortunately.
Its easy to miss and I'm guilty too because a woman accompanied by a man is treated quite differently from a women alone/with other girls, but yes there are a lot of men who habitually treat women including strangers with something crossing contempt with prey. Few women will not have stories.
But while I'm no stranger to introspection and think we all have tendencies conscious or not, instincts that hark back to less civilised times, and our actions can be mis-interpreted and our impressions lack the full story, the righteous zeal you see to damn all men loses me and a lot of other blokes in self-defensive bristle and we end up bickering over something we should all be on one side of.
But while I'm no stranger to introspection and think we all have tendencies conscious or not, instincts that hark back to less civilised times, and our actions can be mis-interpreted and our impressions lack the full story, the righteous zeal you see to damn all men loses me and a lot of other blokes in self-defensive bristle and we end up bickering over something we should all be on one side of.
bearman68 said:
But I'm not sure you can count wolf whistling for example as sexual assault?
I'm not saying it's OK to whistle, but assault? Really?
If I was whistled to by a woman, or I was told that I was a handsome devil and that she would hop on, I would be walking with a skip in my step for the rest of that day. I'm not saying it's OK to whistle, but assault? Really?
robsco said:
If I was whistled to by a woman, or I was told that I was a handsome devil and that she would hop on, I would be walking with a skip in my step for the rest of that day.
What if it happened on the walk to the Train Station?And on the train?
And on the walk from the Train Station to the office.
And walking to get your lunch.
And whilst you sat eating your lunch.
And walking back to the office.
Every day.
Or every other day.
Do you think you might just get a little bored of it?
b
hstewie said:
hstewie said:robsco said:
If I was whistled to by a woman, or I was told that I was a handsome devil and that she would hop on, I would be walking with a skip in my step for the rest of that day.
What if it happened on the walk to the Train Station?And on the train?
And on the walk from the Train Station to the office.
And walking to get your lunch.
And whilst you sat eating your lunch.
And walking back to the office.
Every day.
Or every other day.
Do you think you might just get a little bored of it?
bhstewie said:
hstewie said: What if it happened on the walk to the Train Station?
And on the train?
And on the walk from the Train Station to the office.
And walking to get your lunch.
And whilst you sat eating your lunch.
And walking back to the office.
Every day.
Or every other day.
Do you think you might just get a little bored of it?
Exactly. My Mrs gets unsolicited messages and friend requests from randos on Facebook every. Single. Day. And on the train?
And on the walk from the Train Station to the office.
And walking to get your lunch.
And whilst you sat eating your lunch.
And walking back to the office.
Every day.
Or every other day.
Do you think you might just get a little bored of it?
bhstewie said:
hstewie said: What if it happened on the walk to the Train Station?
And on the train?
And on the walk from the Train Station to the office.
And walking to get your lunch.
And whilst you sat eating your lunch.
And walking back to the office.
Every day.
id stop taking the train
Or every other day.
Do you think you might just get a little bored of it?
And on the train?
And on the walk from the Train Station to the office.
And walking to get your lunch.
And whilst you sat eating your lunch.
And walking back to the office.
Every day.
id stop taking the train
Or every other day.
Do you think you might just get a little bored of it?
dmahon said:
Asking 26 women if they’ve been a victim of sexual assault is intrusive to put it politely.
Had I just blurted out ''Excuse me but have you ever been groped or raped?'' you'd have a point but their declarations were made in conversation, added to which they are all women I know well and/or am related to. I just found it shocking that sexual assaults are so prevalent and the attitudes of some men around the subject equally so.robsco said:
If I was whistled to by a woman, or I was told that I was a handsome devil and that she would hop on, I would be walking with a skip in my step for the rest of that day.
not on board with the wolf whistle being absolutely terrible thing but to impress upon you the vulnerability a woman might feel, A slightly better analogy might be you're in a prison block and the 20 stone guy powerlifting weights saying he's looking forward to meeting up with you in the shower later, (assuming that isnt your thing.)I haven't asked but from the fairly low number of women that I've known well enough to talk to about this sort of stuff it has amazed me how widespread this is. From the minor stuff like whistling and shouts being a lot more common than I'd think in this day and age all the way to being amazed that I have known several women who have been raped (and these obviously are only the ones who have said so). I don't think decent men who would never behave badly or know anyone who would, have a clue how common this all is. Quite what we do about it I don't know.
Teddy Lop said:
not on board with the wolf whistle being absolutely terrible thing but to impress upon you the vulnerability a woman might feel, A slightly better analogy might be you're in a prison block and the 20 stone guy powerlifting weights saying he's looking forward to meeting up with you in the shower later, (assuming that isnt your thing.)
"Jesus loves you!"- fine until you hear it when on remand in a Mexican prison.Not trying to deflect or deny there's a problem but it's terrible on both sides.
The rules (unspoken or otherwise) of society haven't kept up with the ridiculous sexualisation of everything.
I can safely say that pretty every single one of my male friends has been sexually assaulted many times. Personally I would estimate at least 30+ times.
I'm also fully aware that 99% of the time it's a completely different experience for a man and that you can't necessarily compare the two but it's the attitude of modern society that's the issue not solely the attitude of men.
The rules (unspoken or otherwise) of society haven't kept up with the ridiculous sexualisation of everything.
I can safely say that pretty every single one of my male friends has been sexually assaulted many times. Personally I would estimate at least 30+ times.
I'm also fully aware that 99% of the time it's a completely different experience for a man and that you can't necessarily compare the two but it's the attitude of modern society that's the issue not solely the attitude of men.
robsco said:
If I was whistled to by a woman, or I was told that I was a handsome devil and that she would hop on, I would be walking with a skip in my step for the rest of that day.
And when you noticed that these comments were always about your physical appearance, and never about your intelligence, good nature, competence, or any other non-physical positive attribute, would you still be so sanguine about it?Gassing Station | News, Politics & Economics | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff