School sex abuse...
Discussion
Can't find this being discussed so wondered what everyone else thinks of this?
https://www.lbc.co.uk/news/government-announces-im...
I sadly don't have children but thinking back to when I was at school I can't remember things like this happening. Like most boys I was terrified of girls yes even at 16! I recall there was a few girls at 14 who went to night clubs, had older boyfriends but boys didn't.
While any improper behaviour need to be sorted out once again the current media campaign is aimed at boys only! The police officer telling parents to bring boys to the police station..
I am guessing most men on here if they themselves have not been treated badly by a women at some point knew others who have, people are like that some take advantage .
At least the NSPCC who are opening a help line aimed at all young people.
I am curious what do others think and a question to parents is this really a huge problem?
https://www.lbc.co.uk/news/government-announces-im...
I sadly don't have children but thinking back to when I was at school I can't remember things like this happening. Like most boys I was terrified of girls yes even at 16! I recall there was a few girls at 14 who went to night clubs, had older boyfriends but boys didn't.
While any improper behaviour need to be sorted out once again the current media campaign is aimed at boys only! The police officer telling parents to bring boys to the police station..
I am guessing most men on here if they themselves have not been treated badly by a women at some point knew others who have, people are like that some take advantage .
At least the NSPCC who are opening a help line aimed at all young people.
I am curious what do others think and a question to parents is this really a huge problem?
Also thinking back about 15- 18 years when I was in school and my sister who would have been about 17-18 used to come home and tell me a few girls in my year were in a nightclub. I was 13 and the girls in question were in most of my classes.
I mean theses girls got on like they were 30. She used to tell me they would throw themselves at bouncers to get in and would regularly get off with older men and get blocked. I mean we are talking early 2000's here not the 70's, whether these men knew how young they were is another story.
Most of the stories from men come from sexual assaults or abuse in boarding schools whereas women stories come from nights out, school, walking in the park etc.
Personally I've never been abused but some very questionable things have happened looking back. One thing that sticks in my mind is when I was on the bus going to a local under 18 club night. I was 14 sitting at the back of the bus. A few girls got on one was 18 and her mate was 17 she was going tot the same place as me. They sat behind me and ask me were I was going then the next thing the 18 year old started stroking my neck and whispering filth into my ear, what she would like to do to me, etc.
I mean at the time I just thought it was a joke and enjoyed the attention but looking back it was a bit dodgy and you wouldn't get away with it now.
She never did get to have her way with me.
I mean theses girls got on like they were 30. She used to tell me they would throw themselves at bouncers to get in and would regularly get off with older men and get blocked. I mean we are talking early 2000's here not the 70's, whether these men knew how young they were is another story.
Most of the stories from men come from sexual assaults or abuse in boarding schools whereas women stories come from nights out, school, walking in the park etc.
Personally I've never been abused but some very questionable things have happened looking back. One thing that sticks in my mind is when I was on the bus going to a local under 18 club night. I was 14 sitting at the back of the bus. A few girls got on one was 18 and her mate was 17 she was going tot the same place as me. They sat behind me and ask me were I was going then the next thing the 18 year old started stroking my neck and whispering filth into my ear, what she would like to do to me, etc.
I mean at the time I just thought it was a joke and enjoyed the attention but looking back it was a bit dodgy and you wouldn't get away with it now.
She never did get to have her way with me.
A complex one.
I was at a co-ed boarding school (1st fully co-ed independent school in the country) in the 1980s and nothing like this went on. In fact, it was a matter of pride that the boys self-policed in terms of appropriate conduct and those who crossed the line were dealt with by the other boys.
Fast forwarding 35 years I am genuinely surprised that things have got worse not better.
I looked at the Everyone's Invited website at the weekend and was struck by how many of the incidents happen away from school at unsupervised house parties with alcohol involved.
That suggested to me that this may be more of an issue for parents than schools
I was at a co-ed boarding school (1st fully co-ed independent school in the country) in the 1980s and nothing like this went on. In fact, it was a matter of pride that the boys self-policed in terms of appropriate conduct and those who crossed the line were dealt with by the other boys.
Fast forwarding 35 years I am genuinely surprised that things have got worse not better.
I looked at the Everyone's Invited website at the weekend and was struck by how many of the incidents happen away from school at unsupervised house parties with alcohol involved.
That suggested to me that this may be more of an issue for parents than schools
my old housemaster used to invite his favorite kids for snacks and beer to his house. Used to watch you in showers and make sure you scrubbed clean, and occasionally whipped you with this wire.
All odd but never heard any stories about him. i saw physical abuse but luckily never heard of sexual abuse, even though a few decades before the perks of being a prefect was sleeping with the new young intake..
All odd but never heard any stories about him. i saw physical abuse but luckily never heard of sexual abuse, even though a few decades before the perks of being a prefect was sleeping with the new young intake..
I suspect this will be the next “satanic child abuse” scandal in the making, with lives ruined in all directions.
If I think back to my schooldays (co-ed independent in the 6th form), I can’t remember any issues of physicality happening. Were we the nicest group of 17 year olds - of course not, 17 year olds of all genders treat each other horribly. But I wasn’t aware of any raping and groping going on - other than the odd awkward snog at the school disco, but in those cases both genders were equally guilty. Did we “rate” girls numerically (which seems to be unacceptable these days), of course we did, the huge advantage we had was there was no social media data trail to leave behind, so it was limited to a conversation along the lines of “what do you think of X”, “phwoar, 10/10”.
My 18 year old son is also baffled by this. Jokingly, he’s rather upset that no girl has sent him a photo of her fanny and asked for a dick pic in return -apparently every single teenager is doing it, but he and his mates (both female and male) seem to be missing out.
I suspect that there are unacceptable weirdos in schools, and they grow up to be unacceptable weirdos in later life, but I somehow doubt schools are more of a cesspit than any other stage of life.
If I think back to my schooldays (co-ed independent in the 6th form), I can’t remember any issues of physicality happening. Were we the nicest group of 17 year olds - of course not, 17 year olds of all genders treat each other horribly. But I wasn’t aware of any raping and groping going on - other than the odd awkward snog at the school disco, but in those cases both genders were equally guilty. Did we “rate” girls numerically (which seems to be unacceptable these days), of course we did, the huge advantage we had was there was no social media data trail to leave behind, so it was limited to a conversation along the lines of “what do you think of X”, “phwoar, 10/10”.
My 18 year old son is also baffled by this. Jokingly, he’s rather upset that no girl has sent him a photo of her fanny and asked for a dick pic in return -apparently every single teenager is doing it, but he and his mates (both female and male) seem to be missing out.
I suspect that there are unacceptable weirdos in schools, and they grow up to be unacceptable weirdos in later life, but I somehow doubt schools are more of a cesspit than any other stage of life.
I think back to being a teen in the 90s, girls i liked at 14 all had bfs who were 18, when I was 18 I was not attracted to girls who were 14 at all. But other than that i recall nothing bad going on at all. Perhaps I was lucky or perhaps just like the fear or a peado on every corner, its over blown.
I am sure millions will be spent an lessons learned etc etc. As a parent now I teach my kids to respect everyone and they don't aee being gay as an issue at all where as in the 90s we used it as an insult etc.
So perhaps its a case of same things go on but now we are more aware that 1 in 100 is a wrong un etc
I am sure millions will be spent an lessons learned etc etc. As a parent now I teach my kids to respect everyone and they don't aee being gay as an issue at all where as in the 90s we used it as an insult etc.
So perhaps its a case of same things go on but now we are more aware that 1 in 100 is a wrong un etc
I’m not saying these things didn’t happen, but I would say they are far less common that physical and emotional abuse in schools. Behaviour that would result in criminal charges outside school result in detention or just a telling off and, in my experience, violent retribution later.
I would put good money on it being the same people being the perpetrators. It also seems as if there has been no consideration of the male victims, of both male and female behaviour. I can clearly remember two incidents at school that made me very uncomfortable. Not the most serious and both involved nothing more than words, both being older girls using sexual threats to humiliate me (along the lines of “are you gay? We will find out”) but categorising them with rape, sexual assault and abuse would be an insult to victims of those crimes.
I would put good money on it being the same people being the perpetrators. It also seems as if there has been no consideration of the male victims, of both male and female behaviour. I can clearly remember two incidents at school that made me very uncomfortable. Not the most serious and both involved nothing more than words, both being older girls using sexual threats to humiliate me (along the lines of “are you gay? We will find out”) but categorising them with rape, sexual assault and abuse would be an insult to victims of those crimes.
My boarding school was investigated by the Society of Teachers Opposed to Physical Punishment - a campaign group set up in the 1960s to prevent corporal punishment in schools - for it's particularly liberal use of the cane. Senior house masters were allowed to use a cane and every master was allowed to use a slipper for even minor transgressions such as answering back, wearing dirty shoes, talking after lights out or not having your bed made with neat hospital corners or your possessions and bed space in the approved tidy manner.
Being caned doesn't actually hurt the moment it happens, but boy does it afterwards, especially if every stroke is spaced out, done hard and hits the same place. After a visit to the office or housemasters flat the more sympathetic teachers would allow you to stand during lessons 'till lunchtime.
Physical bullying was rife and chances were both prep and victim would get punished if you were caught for disturbing the established peace. We had a code of honour where you never, ever cried, you never, ever stole anything from another pupil and you never, ever told tales or reported wrongdoings because snitches invariably got stitches. That excepted, Lord of the Flies had nothing on us.
We all had our suspicions about a number of masters sexual predilections and looking back now it was blatantly obvious many took a great delight in watching little boys horsing around in communal showers or getting changed or play wrestling in nothing but shorts or pyjama bottoms. I actually don't know of anybody in my year or dormitory who fell victim though - and if they did they kept very quiet about it. It did go on and subsequent accusations of sexual abuse by some masters have resulted in both court appearances and pre-trial suicides.
Thing is that all seemed normal at the time. Kids were treated very differently then and you just accepted that's how it was and despite the austerity and harsh discipline most of us appreciated the privileged education and all the extra curricular activities that were provided.
Soon after I left falling numbers caused my school to merge with another and a few years later it closed altogether. Perhaps that was no bad thing.
Being caned doesn't actually hurt the moment it happens, but boy does it afterwards, especially if every stroke is spaced out, done hard and hits the same place. After a visit to the office or housemasters flat the more sympathetic teachers would allow you to stand during lessons 'till lunchtime.
Physical bullying was rife and chances were both prep and victim would get punished if you were caught for disturbing the established peace. We had a code of honour where you never, ever cried, you never, ever stole anything from another pupil and you never, ever told tales or reported wrongdoings because snitches invariably got stitches. That excepted, Lord of the Flies had nothing on us.
We all had our suspicions about a number of masters sexual predilections and looking back now it was blatantly obvious many took a great delight in watching little boys horsing around in communal showers or getting changed or play wrestling in nothing but shorts or pyjama bottoms. I actually don't know of anybody in my year or dormitory who fell victim though - and if they did they kept very quiet about it. It did go on and subsequent accusations of sexual abuse by some masters have resulted in both court appearances and pre-trial suicides.
Thing is that all seemed normal at the time. Kids were treated very differently then and you just accepted that's how it was and despite the austerity and harsh discipline most of us appreciated the privileged education and all the extra curricular activities that were provided.
Soon after I left falling numbers caused my school to merge with another and a few years later it closed altogether. Perhaps that was no bad thing.
I left school over 28 years ago. Back then being physically assaulted by a teacher was common place. I was -
- Slapped in the face at full power by the teacher
- kneed in the legs by the teachers just standing in form line for fun
- Had a board rubber thrown at me
- Touched up by the Computer Science teacher on regular basis as were most others. (We didnt know at the time what a peadophile was)
- Watched in the showers by the PE teachers
Witnessed
- friend having his head banged against the desk
- friends being physically assaulted by teachers
- friends being touched up by the same IT teacher
Funnily its actually a really good school in Ewell Surrey now. It was all boys but violence was common place and to be accepted.
So does this mean I'm on line for a huge compo claim. I do recall once after Mr Moore kneed me in the leg for a laugh at full pelt whilst standing in line for registration, I literally couldn't walk for a week.
- Slapped in the face at full power by the teacher
- kneed in the legs by the teachers just standing in form line for fun
- Had a board rubber thrown at me
- Touched up by the Computer Science teacher on regular basis as were most others. (We didnt know at the time what a peadophile was)
- Watched in the showers by the PE teachers
Witnessed
- friend having his head banged against the desk
- friends being physically assaulted by teachers
- friends being touched up by the same IT teacher
Funnily its actually a really good school in Ewell Surrey now. It was all boys but violence was common place and to be accepted.
So does this mean I'm on line for a huge compo claim. I do recall once after Mr Moore kneed me in the leg for a laugh at full pelt whilst standing in line for registration, I literally couldn't walk for a week.
Jaguar steve said:
My boarding school was investigated by the Society of Teachers Opposed to Physical Punishment - a campaign group set up in the 1960s to prevent corporal punishment in schools - for it's particularly liberal use of the cane. Senior house masters were allowed to use a cane and every master was allowed to use a slipper for even minor transgressions such as answering back, wearing dirty shoes, talking after lights out or not having your bed made with neat hospital corners or your possessions and bed space in the approved tidy manner.
And it's made you the I was caned regularly from the age of about 7 (started boarding at 6). I don't think the headman got a boner doing it, but he may have. To be fair to him, I was an absolute little f
ker as a child, and basically lived in detention for most of the term. By the time I was 10, my strategy was to show them that I was not scared of their punishments. I showed up to detention on the rare occasions when I didn't need to be there. I think the final straw was thanking the headman for caning me, and telling him I enjoyed it. I was expelled soon after that. Other than the slightly weird latin teacher (who was just weird), I don't remember any sexual dodginess at all.
It was a badge of honour for the girls 14-16 to get a boyfriend with a car and the girls made the running for it
Now the boys will get the blame.
There were always girls who went to clubs or cinema underage (boys more often than not couldn't apply warpaint and look old enough).
I don't remember hearing about any girl who didn't do anything she didn't want to do, including the ones who got pregnant
From my experience girls/women are equally as predatory as men and talk about their experiences far more than men.
Now the boys will get the blame.
There were always girls who went to clubs or cinema underage (boys more often than not couldn't apply warpaint and look old enough).
I don't remember hearing about any girl who didn't do anything she didn't want to do, including the ones who got pregnant
From my experience girls/women are equally as predatory as men and talk about their experiences far more than men.
My school was all boys.
Everything happened, teachers hitting pupils, pupils hitting teachers, punishments like head stands no handed on floor boards, if caught snacking in class a teacher would lick it & make you eat it, chalk thrown at you if talking. All sorts I can’t remember.
I was even sexually abused at one point during a detention. Mmmm, never written that before.
When it came to girls, we had a ‘sister’ school around the corner, it was fair game both ways. We all learnt a lot off of each other.
Everything happened, teachers hitting pupils, pupils hitting teachers, punishments like head stands no handed on floor boards, if caught snacking in class a teacher would lick it & make you eat it, chalk thrown at you if talking. All sorts I can’t remember.
I was even sexually abused at one point during a detention. Mmmm, never written that before.
When it came to girls, we had a ‘sister’ school around the corner, it was fair game both ways. We all learnt a lot off of each other.
voyds9 said:
It was a badge of honour for the girls 14-16 to get a boyfriend with a car and the girls made the running for it
Now the boys will get the blame.
There were always girls who went to clubs or cinema underage (boys more often than not couldn't apply warpaint and look old enough).
I don't remember hearing about any girl who didn't do anything she didn't want to do, including the ones who got pregnant
From my experience girls/women are equally as predatory as men and talk about their experiences far more than men.
A 14 year old is fair game then?Now the boys will get the blame.
There were always girls who went to clubs or cinema underage (boys more often than not couldn't apply warpaint and look old enough).
I don't remember hearing about any girl who didn't do anything she didn't want to do, including the ones who got pregnant
From my experience girls/women are equally as predatory as men and talk about their experiences far more than men.
Explains a lot.
JeffreyD said:
A 14 year old is fair game then?
Explains a lot.
I was accosted by a 14 when i was 18, (1 year behind) i turned her down obviously. My mate who said he was a year ahead so 16 hung about with them. Even took photos of their heads and stuck them on the body of other women in a photo album, and made a hole in his mattress. Explains a lot.
One day i found out he was actually same age as me, and it all went even odder.
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