How to get the best from one’s MP
How to get the best from one’s MP
Author
Discussion

Louis Balfour

Original Poster:

28,176 posts

245 months

Friday 11th March 2022
quotequote all
We had a very good MP, who got things done, but they retired.

The new one is young and not very good, it seems. I’ve contacted them on three matters. One they messed up spectacularly, one they helped with a bit, after some coaxing. A third they claimed to be unable to be involved with because they are an MP. In fact they could have been, but it looked a bit tricky which is why they didn’t want to be involved I suspect.

I need some assistance with something imminently (I cannot elaborate) and want to try to encourage the MP to assist.

Does anyone have more experience than I do with MPs, sufficient to advise? Is it a matter of being really persistent, or quite prescriptive In defining what one wants done?

Is there anything that motivates them particularly to take action?




Camoradi

4,826 posts

279 months

Friday 11th March 2022
quotequote all
Have you considered offering them sexual favours or cash incentives?

Dynion Araf Uchaf

5,064 posts

246 months

Friday 11th March 2022
quotequote all
how have you got yourself into the position where you've needed to contact your MP 3 times?

I couldn't even tell you who my MP is, and cynicism would prevent me from contacting them in the first place. If you have that many 'local' issues that bother you why not become a councillor hehe ?

Louis Balfour

Original Poster:

28,176 posts

245 months

Friday 11th March 2022
quotequote all
Dynion Araf Uchaf said:
how have you got yourself into the position where you've needed to contact your MP 3 times?

I couldn't even tell you who my MP is, and cynicism would prevent me from contacting them in the first place. If you have that many 'local' issues that bother you why not become a councillor hehe ?
Business matters mainly.

Time was when I would not have known who our MP was. But in the past 15 years, whilst running businesses, I have dealt with our MP a number of times.

At a certain level, you need an “in” to central government.

I still think there are people here with more experience than me, though.

768

19,033 posts

119 months

Friday 11th March 2022
quotequote all
They're individuals, they vary. Persistence is usually a solid tactic.

Does it have to be the local MP, not one further up the chain, or someone else altogether? A backbench MP might be influential but they're not usually responsible for much.

smn159

15,093 posts

240 months

Friday 11th March 2022
quotequote all
Assuming that you're not in a position to offer a Knighthood, blackmail seems too be the preferred option in the whips office, where they need to get MPs to do what they want.

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2022/jan/22/a...

vonuber

17,868 posts

188 months

Friday 11th March 2022
quotequote all
Have you any access to Russian money? That seemed to work in the past.

xx99xx

2,698 posts

96 months

Friday 11th March 2022
quotequote all
Louis Balfour said:
Business matters mainly.

Time was when I would not have known who our MP was. But in the past 15 years, whilst running businesses, I have dealt with our MP a number of times.

At a certain level, you need an “in” to central government.

I still think there are people here with more experience than me, though.
Does the issue affect just you or many others? If the latter, show them evidence of this. Suggest what needs to be done, how they could go about it and what the benefits will be. If it's just you then I suspect there are other things of a higher priority they'll be dealing with.

I suspect your initial communications have been with their caseworker (despite letters being signed off by the MP) and the actual MP is unaware of you or your issue. The caseworker will decide what to bother their boss with and usually if it makes the MP look good, raises their profile, scores political points etc they're usually keen.

poo at Paul's

14,546 posts

198 months

Friday 11th March 2022
quotequote all
Louis Balfour said:
We had a very good MP, who got things done, but they retired.

The new one is young and not very good, it seems. I’ve contacted them on three matters. One they messed up spectacularly, one they helped with a bit, after some coaxing. A third they claimed to be unable to be involved with because they are an MP. In fact they could have been, but it looked a bit tricky which is why they didn’t want to be involved I suspect.

I need some assistance with something imminently (I cannot elaborate) and want to try to encourage the MP to assist.

Does anyone have more experience than I do with MPs, sufficient to advise? Is it a matter of being really persistent, or quite prescriptive In defining what one wants done?

Is there anything that motivates them particularly to take action?
Most people sort out their own problems.

Louis Balfour

Original Poster:

28,176 posts

245 months

Friday 11th March 2022
quotequote all
poo at Paul's said:
Louis Balfour said:
We had a very good MP, who got things done, but they retired.

The new one is young and not very good, it seems. I’ve contacted them on three matters. One they messed up spectacularly, one they helped with a bit, after some coaxing. A third they claimed to be unable to be involved with because they are an MP. In fact they could have been, but it looked a bit tricky which is why they didn’t want to be involved I suspect.

I need some assistance with something imminently (I cannot elaborate) and want to try to encourage the MP to assist.

Does anyone have more experience than I do with MPs, sufficient to advise? Is it a matter of being really persistent, or quite prescriptive In defining what one wants done?

Is there anything that motivates them particularly to take action?
Most people sort out their own problems.
What did you have in mind?

Hire a light aircraft and fly a banner past the Houses of Parliament?

Photobomb a BBC Breakfast News broadcast with a placard naming the minister involved and an abbreviated message to them?

Gatecrash PMQs and wrestle the required minister to the ground, whilst surreptitiously slipping a note into their jacket pocket?

Make a TikTok involving the locally elderly stripped naked, hiding their genitals with balloons upon which messages are scrawled to the minister. Hope it goes viral?

Other suggestions regarding how to sort out directly our problems, where a minister other than our MP is involved, eagerly anticipated.





edthefed

820 posts

90 months

Friday 11th March 2022
quotequote all
Offer them a "ahem donation" of several £1000s cash or tickets to a top event

Only way to get any response from my Tory MP !

poo at Paul's

14,546 posts

198 months

Friday 11th March 2022
quotequote all
Ok, you seem rather needy, but let’s indulge you.

Why don’t you tell PH the problem and we can then advise on either how to sort it yourself, or how best to lobby your MP or other suitable person.


Randy Winkman

20,799 posts

212 months

Friday 11th March 2022
quotequote all
poo at Paul's said:
Ok, you seem rather needy, but let’s indulge you.

Why don’t you tell PH the problem and we can then advise on either how to sort it yourself, or how best to lobby your MP or other suitable person.
I must admit I did wonder why the OP felt the need to contact their MP about 3 things.

JuanCarlosFandango

9,555 posts

94 months

Friday 11th March 2022
quotequote all
Does he know who you are?

Electro1980

8,916 posts

162 months

Friday 11th March 2022
quotequote all
JuanCarlosFandango said:
Does he know who you are?
He’s Louis Balfour. Doesn’t everyone know that?

Vasco

18,009 posts

128 months

Friday 11th March 2022
quotequote all
Louis Balfour said:
poo at Paul's said:
Louis Balfour said:
We had a very good MP, who got things done, but they retired.

The new one is young and not very good, it seems. I’ve contacted them on three matters. One they messed up spectacularly, one they helped with a bit, after some coaxing. A third they claimed to be unable to be involved with because they are an MP. In fact they could have been, but it looked a bit tricky which is why they didn’t want to be involved I suspect.

I need some assistance with something imminently (I cannot elaborate) and want to try to encourage the MP to assist.

Does anyone have more experience than I do with MPs, sufficient to advise? Is it a matter of being really persistent, or quite prescriptive In defining what one wants done?

Is there anything that motivates them particularly to take action?
Most people sort out their own problems.
What did you have in mind?

Hire a light aircraft and fly a banner past the Houses of Parliament?

Photobomb a BBC Breakfast News broadcast with a placard naming the minister involved and an abbreviated message to them?

Gatecrash PMQs and wrestle the required minister to the ground, whilst surreptitiously slipping a note into their jacket pocket?

Make a TikTok involving the locally elderly stripped naked, hiding their genitals with balloons upon which messages are scrawled to the minister. Hope it goes viral?

Other suggestions regarding how to sort out directly our problems, where a minister other than our MP is involved, eagerly anticipated.
Take the MP down your usual Wetherspoons for a pizza ?

biggrinbiggrin

Louis Balfour

Original Poster:

28,176 posts

245 months

Friday 11th March 2022
quotequote all
Vasco said:
Louis Balfour said:
poo at Paul's said:
Louis Balfour said:
We had a very good MP, who got things done, but they retired.

The new one is young and not very good, it seems. I’ve contacted them on three matters. One they messed up spectacularly, one they helped with a bit, after some coaxing. A third they claimed to be unable to be involved with because they are an MP. In fact they could have been, but it looked a bit tricky which is why they didn’t want to be involved I suspect.

I need some assistance with something imminently (I cannot elaborate) and want to try to encourage the MP to assist.

Does anyone have more experience than I do with MPs, sufficient to advise? Is it a matter of being really persistent, or quite prescriptive In defining what one wants done?

Is there anything that motivates them particularly to take action?
Most people sort out their own problems.
What did you have in mind?

Hire a light aircraft and fly a banner past the Houses of Parliament?

Photobomb a BBC Breakfast News broadcast with a placard naming the minister involved and an abbreviated message to them?

Gatecrash PMQs and wrestle the required minister to the ground, whilst surreptitiously slipping a note into their jacket pocket?

Make a TikTok involving the locally elderly stripped naked, hiding their genitals with balloons upon which messages are scrawled to the minister. Hope it goes viral?

Other suggestions regarding how to sort out directly our problems, where a minister other than our MP is involved, eagerly anticipated.
Take the MP down your usual Wetherspoons for a pizza ?

biggrinbiggrin
biggrin


vaud

58,009 posts

178 months

Friday 11th March 2022
quotequote all
Louis Balfour said:
Business matters mainly.

Time was when I would not have known who our MP was. But in the past 15 years, whilst running businesses, I have dealt with our MP a number of times.

At a certain level, you need an “in” to central government.

I still think there are people here with more experience than me, though.
What are you trying to achieve? Solve a local issue (school closure, etc)? Get their support to bomb France? Or access them to create you a business opportunity? Etc

Context is needed.

smn159

15,093 posts

240 months

Friday 11th March 2022
quotequote all
Buy a pub near to a cabinet minsters house. A contract for PPE Worth millions would surely follow.

klan8456

963 posts

98 months

Friday 11th March 2022
quotequote all
Start by paying them at least 5x as much so you don’t only get those who have failed in other pursuits