Funeral director keeping bodies at home
Discussion
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c4gjr0ylenzo
What the actual f
k? How is this woman not in prison (or some other kind of secure institution)? Absolutely astonishing.
One Mumsnet response: "Keeping the baby's remains in a home environment, baby bouncers and cartoons, could be seen as caring."
The absolute state of this country.
What the actual f
k? How is this woman not in prison (or some other kind of secure institution)? Absolutely astonishing. One Mumsnet response: "Keeping the baby's remains in a home environment, baby bouncers and cartoons, could be seen as caring."
The absolute state of this country.
gruffalo said:
personally from what i have read on the case she needs physiatric help urgently and should had sought it after the still birth of her own child.
She does not need to be criminalised more realistically hospitalised.
And what about the funeral director who actually signed the bodies out of the hospital and passed them on to her? Who takes some accountability? Presumably "lessons will be learned". She does not need to be criminalised more realistically hospitalised.
bbc said:
Both Ms Ward and Sharon and Paul's babies were signed out by Philip Gallagher of Gallagher Funeral Services, in Headingley – one of the Trust's authorised funeral directors.
Mr Gallagher said he had had a "working relationship" with Ms Upton for five years, including "providing funerals for people's loved ones that have sadly passed away".
Mr Gallagher said he had had a "working relationship" with Ms Upton for five years, including "providing funerals for people's loved ones that have sadly passed away".
XCP said:
gruffalo said:
personally from what i have read on the case she needs physiatric help urgently and should had sought it after the still birth of her own child.
She does not need to be criminalised more realistically hospitalised.
Agreed.She does not need to be criminalised more realistically hospitalised.
miniman said:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c4gjr0ylenzo
What the actual fk? How is this woman not in prison (or some other kind of secure institution)? Absolutely astonishing.
One Mumsnet response: "Keeping the baby's remains in a home environment, baby bouncers and cartoons, could be seen as caring."
The absolute state of this country.
Don't be silly.What the actual f
k? How is this woman not in prison (or some other kind of secure institution)? Absolutely astonishing. One Mumsnet response: "Keeping the baby's remains in a home environment, baby bouncers and cartoons, could be seen as caring."
The absolute state of this country.
This is what one person did (has been alleged to have done), it is not what the whole country is doing.
Do try to keep some sense of perspective.
I would hate to be in an emergency with you.
Alickadoo said:
miniman said:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c4gjr0ylenzo
What the actual fk? How is this woman not in prison (or some other kind of secure institution)? Absolutely astonishing.
One Mumsnet response: "Keeping the baby's remains in a home environment, baby bouncers and cartoons, could be seen as caring."
The absolute state of this country.
Don't be silly.What the actual f
k? How is this woman not in prison (or some other kind of secure institution)? Absolutely astonishing. One Mumsnet response: "Keeping the baby's remains in a home environment, baby bouncers and cartoons, could be seen as caring."
The absolute state of this country.
This is what one person did (has been alleged to have done), it is not what the whole country is doing.
Do try to keep some sense of perspective.
I would hate to be in an emergency with you.
Also that was one -quickly shouted down - Mumsnet comment from hundreds literally all saying a variation of ‘what the actual f
k?!’I thought it interesting that this is only the second complaint in 8 years. It instinctively feels beyond barmy but maybe this has previously been a service some actually want? The fact she hasn’t actually broken any laws is amazing to me but there you are
Hope she gets some help
abzmike said:
Seriously warped, and deserves police investigation and not just an NHS 'ban'.
The funeral industry seems to be totally unregulated, as seen by a number of recent cases.
They've already investigated and found no crime, apparently. The funeral industry seems to be totally unregulated, as seen by a number of recent cases.
I learnt that it's not a legal requirement to refrigerate bodies, or keep them cool in any way, staggering.
ChocolateFrog said:
abzmike said:
Seriously warped, and deserves police investigation and not just an NHS 'ban'.
The funeral industry seems to be totally unregulated, as seen by a number of recent cases.
They've already investigated and found no crime, apparently. The funeral industry seems to be totally unregulated, as seen by a number of recent cases.
I learnt that it's not a legal requirement to refrigerate bodies, or keep them cool in any way, staggering.
Why the real Funeral Director, who collected the babies, let her have the bodies outside of the Funeral Home is another question!!
Nightmare said:
It instinctively feels beyond barmy but maybe this has previously been a service some actually want?
Weirdly I'm wondering this. The woman wasn't the Funeral Director so what was her role if it wasn't to do something "different" to what the funeral director would have done. And why are parents visiting her at home if they weren't expecting their baby to be there?So it's beyond my comprehension but it seems plausible that the parents were paying her to have the bodies at her home or outside a "normal" funeral home setting. It's just that at least two parents assumed (reasonably but wrongly) that the bodies would be in a cooled cot or a box, not in a bouncer.
Frankly if we heard that there was a funeral service in Los Angeles where babies bodies are kept in a domestic setting before the funeral we'd just tut and say "Americans".
Whatever this story is, she isn't Fuller.
abzmike said:
Seriously warped, and deserves police investigation and not just an NHS 'ban'.
The funeral industry seems to be totally unregulated, as seen by a number of recent cases.
Scotland has a code of practice - came into force 1st March 2025. Unfortunately, I've had too many funerals to arrange in the past few years, but all of the funeral directors I've used have been brilliant. The funeral industry seems to be totally unregulated, as seen by a number of recent cases.
I've heard before that the parents of stillborn or very young babies have taken them home, given them a bath, dressed them, laid them in the cot they had bought for them etc, before then returning them to a 'proper' funeral home.
A trying to have just 1 day with them kind of thing.
I'm sure there was a documentary about it some years back.
That's what I thought of when I first started reading this, perhaps that was the service offered - until I got to the point that 1) there was someone else's baby on the sofa when one parent arrived, and 2) they obviously were not expecting their baby to be in a bouncer in front of the TV.
At which point it reads as something macabre and disturbing.
Its all Incredibly sad whatever the reason behind it.
A trying to have just 1 day with them kind of thing.
I'm sure there was a documentary about it some years back.
That's what I thought of when I first started reading this, perhaps that was the service offered - until I got to the point that 1) there was someone else's baby on the sofa when one parent arrived, and 2) they obviously were not expecting their baby to be in a bouncer in front of the TV.
At which point it reads as something macabre and disturbing.
Its all Incredibly sad whatever the reason behind it.
Very strange indeed.
It baffles me that there is basically zero - or near zero regulation. Estate agents are the same, anyone can do it.
The services offer are defiantly strange but I do kind of understand that some people might want a day at home with the body - just not someone else's home.
Common in Irish deaths for the coffin to be brought back to the house the night before the funeral or even the night before that. Usually open casket and people come round to see the body and have a drink and talk to the person. Some weird customs too, no clocks or mirrors - for example.
I was in an Asian country a while ago and we were at a temple and saw a couple with a baby in a robe and they were in traditional dress too - we assumed it was a new born and almost kind of went over smiling to kind of have a look and I suddenly realised the baby was very much decreased and took my wife away.
Suppose people need to grieve in their own way. I think this woman took advantage of people for her own gratification and she clearly needs time in hospital.
It baffles me that there is basically zero - or near zero regulation. Estate agents are the same, anyone can do it.
The services offer are defiantly strange but I do kind of understand that some people might want a day at home with the body - just not someone else's home.
Common in Irish deaths for the coffin to be brought back to the house the night before the funeral or even the night before that. Usually open casket and people come round to see the body and have a drink and talk to the person. Some weird customs too, no clocks or mirrors - for example.
I was in an Asian country a while ago and we were at a temple and saw a couple with a baby in a robe and they were in traditional dress too - we assumed it was a new born and almost kind of went over smiling to kind of have a look and I suddenly realised the baby was very much decreased and took my wife away.
Suppose people need to grieve in their own way. I think this woman took advantage of people for her own gratification and she clearly needs time in hospital.
matchmaker said:
abzmike said:
Seriously warped, and deserves police investigation and not just an NHS 'ban'.
The funeral industry seems to be totally unregulated, as seen by a number of recent cases.
Scotland has a code of practice - came into force 1st March 2025. Unfortunately, I've had too many funerals to arrange in the past few years, but all of the funeral directors I've used have been brilliant. The funeral industry seems to be totally unregulated, as seen by a number of recent cases.
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