Separation and the house
Discussion
To keep a long story short.My wife and i separated a few months back on a 6 month trial separation but to be quite honest things aren't getting any better.She moved out of our house into rented accomodation with my son a couple of miles away.Now she has said that she should be in our marital home for the sake and stabillity of our son which i understand but how can this be worked out finacially.If i move out into rented accomodation could i leave my name on the mortgage and she basicaly pays the bills.I'm not sure if our mortgage lender would allow this as i am not there as the main income provider and still leaves me liable if anything were to happen to my wifes circumstances.Also if my name stays on the mortgage,surely this will prevent me getting any property of my own in the future.In laymans terms what are my options.This is a very frustrating and sad situation.
Cheers
Danny
Cheers
Danny
Does she have an income? If so, is it sufficient to cover the mortgage, according to your lender? If yes, then ask her if she will be prepared to transfer the mortgage into her sole name. Obviously, there will need to be some give and take regards equity, but do not expect a 50/50 split.
If the answer to any of the above questions is no, then the free house of her dreams will not happen. You'd be better off in the long run selling up and each starting afresh.
She needs to have a realistic conversation with you as regards future income. CSA say 15% of your net income (after pension contributions). More than that is lovely, but up to you. I suspect you would not be looking to pay spousal maintenance?
If the answer to any of the above questions is no, then the free house of her dreams will not happen. You'd be better off in the long run selling up and each starting afresh.
She needs to have a realistic conversation with you as regards future income. CSA say 15% of your net income (after pension contributions). More than that is lovely, but up to you. I suspect you would not be looking to pay spousal maintenance?
Randlemarcus To answer your question no she only gets about 8 grand a year and the outstanding balance on the mortgage is 84000.Not alot in todays terms but way out of her borrowing capacity.I have offered to remrtogage and give her half of the equity but she seems to think that she can just live in the house and keep both of our names on the morgage which i think in a way is kind of fraudulent as i wouldn't be there.I pay child maintanance on the avarage salery i get after tax from which i calculated of the u gov website.My overtime varies a lot.If it came to sell the house and go our separate ways she would be no better of as she would still have to go into a rented house because of her financial circumstances and our son looses the house in which he grew up in.I'm not being materialistic here but i too would hate to loose this house as i wouldn't get anything else for the money these days.Hope this makes sense!!!
You are fairly unlikely to be able to keep the house that you both "own", if she opposes this course of action, and she will, most likely supported by her personal coven.
She is entitled to live in the marital home, regardless of the fact she left of her own accord. Somebody will tell her this, quite soon, and no doubt she will use the legal aid system.
If you cannot persuade her to sell, or to acquire an income sufficient to meet the mortgage commitment then:
You can let her stay there, keep the mortgage in joint names, and pay it. This money will come off the amount you need to pay to her in child maintenance.
You can walk away, and collect 50% of what's left when it gets repossessed.
One of these will kill your chances of a mortgage in the future. The other will make it significantly harder, but not impossible.
Above all, make sure that whatever you decide to do is tenable in the long term, i.e. when you meet someone, or she meets someone and moves them in, and that you have taken legal advice, and its all drawn up properly.
She is entitled to live in the marital home, regardless of the fact she left of her own accord. Somebody will tell her this, quite soon, and no doubt she will use the legal aid system.
If you cannot persuade her to sell, or to acquire an income sufficient to meet the mortgage commitment then:
You can let her stay there, keep the mortgage in joint names, and pay it. This money will come off the amount you need to pay to her in child maintenance.
You can walk away, and collect 50% of what's left when it gets repossessed.
One of these will kill your chances of a mortgage in the future. The other will make it significantly harder, but not impossible.
Above all, make sure that whatever you decide to do is tenable in the long term, i.e. when you meet someone, or she meets someone and moves them in, and that you have taken legal advice, and its all drawn up properly.
She may think that as the wife/mother she is automatically entitled to the house. Which may be true in certain circumstances but not these ones as you have a mortgage, therefore it's neither yours nor hers to 'have'.
What you are both entitled to is the equity in the property. You'd expect it to be 50/50 but it's very unlikely to be as she will declare that her low income will hinder her being able to afford a decent house and to provide for your kid etc.
When you approach the mortgage company they will want to know her income. Assuming it's not enough, there is no way they will allow you to be removed from the mortgage. If you tell them that you are going to be moving out they will take into account your new additional living costs and deduct them from your income which if, as you say, is a modest income then they are likely to decline this proposition to.
Therefore there is no scenario where she can live in the house long term. You could can the house on, but your likely to have to remortgage to release the equity to pay her off. If this isn't feasible then the only other option will be for you to sell up and go your separate ways.
What you are both entitled to is the equity in the property. You'd expect it to be 50/50 but it's very unlikely to be as she will declare that her low income will hinder her being able to afford a decent house and to provide for your kid etc.
When you approach the mortgage company they will want to know her income. Assuming it's not enough, there is no way they will allow you to be removed from the mortgage. If you tell them that you are going to be moving out they will take into account your new additional living costs and deduct them from your income which if, as you say, is a modest income then they are likely to decline this proposition to.
Therefore there is no scenario where she can live in the house long term. You could can the house on, but your likely to have to remortgage to release the equity to pay her off. If this isn't feasible then the only other option will be for you to sell up and go your separate ways.
I understand that no definitive answer lies here on the internet...just trying to get some guidance as what to do.I shall be seeking proffesional advise as no doubt she will too.In the short/medium term i just want my son to have a good stable upbringing so i may have to make some sacrifices.I appreciate all your replys.
Danny
Danny
Olf said:
When these threads come up there's usually loads of people shouting 'FFS DON'T MOVE OUT OF THE MARITAL HOME!'. So I assume that's important in some way?!
Well, it might be viewed as an admission of guilt, and, quite importantly, it's probably far nicer there than anywhere else he'll end up. His wife is getting to live with their son, he isn't, so it's a bit rough that he'll also be expected to go and live in a place that he doesn't want to.As others have said, I'd suggest getting proper advice. Try the C.A.B. perhaps, but also consult a proper lawyer who deals with separation and divorce.
While you presumably don't want your wife or child to suffer unnecessarily, you also don't want to end up feeling resentful for the rest of your life that you ended up paying for a house that you didn't use, presumably paying maintenance, and living in a crappy flat, right up until she finds a new man in her life and moves hi in there with her.
Wanting to do the "right" thing is honourable, but the right thing can end up feeling very different a short time down the line.
The reason my wife moved out is because she said things weren't working out.I was prepared to work things out but her head was all over the place and needed space and i said i wasn't budging,stubborn yes but why should i leave when i was prepared to sort things.(not justifying the situation just background info in short)
I suppose the right thing now may well not be right thing in the long run.I get the impression my wife will be envious of the fact that i could in theory afford the house on my own and her not be there.She has said it in not so many words,but the fact is that i'm not proposing this simply to get "one over on her" just to keep a stable,close,familier surroundings for my son.Close to his school and close to his current house.I know it all makes sense to me.Maybe not to others who may prefer to make a clean break and start again.But for what i paid for this house 10 year ago and what i would have to pay to start again somewhere else doesn't make financial sense to me...smaller and rightly somewhere where i wouldn't want to live.I know it'll probably get worse and i may have to dig my heels in so wish me luck.
Ps Is there such a thing as going to a solicitor"together"to get advice.Things at the moment are still very ammicable.Or am i mad suggesting such a thing.
I suppose the right thing now may well not be right thing in the long run.I get the impression my wife will be envious of the fact that i could in theory afford the house on my own and her not be there.She has said it in not so many words,but the fact is that i'm not proposing this simply to get "one over on her" just to keep a stable,close,familier surroundings for my son.Close to his school and close to his current house.I know it all makes sense to me.Maybe not to others who may prefer to make a clean break and start again.But for what i paid for this house 10 year ago and what i would have to pay to start again somewhere else doesn't make financial sense to me...smaller and rightly somewhere where i wouldn't want to live.I know it'll probably get worse and i may have to dig my heels in so wish me luck.
Ps Is there such a thing as going to a solicitor"together"to get advice.Things at the moment are still very ammicable.Or am i mad suggesting such a thing.
You are in a bad place at the moment mentally, believe me many others been there. Being a well brought up gentleman who obviously cares for your family you are trying to do things fairly and with the least stress to your child. Believe me when it hits the fan you will not receive the same thoughtfulness from your spouse, she is most likely seeking advice of her own as you speak. Do yourself a favour and seek independent advice now or leave yourself wide open. When she moves another pair of trousers into her life, which may be distressingly soon, you will not feel so disposed towards her
I really applaud your desire to do right by your family. In many of these cases it is often the case that children get seriously mentally harmed by these proceedings. If you can keep it amicable all the way through I think you will find it better experience to live with and to move on.
At some point in the past you were a team and it seems a real shame to turn that on its head and become bitter enemies, in those case the only winners are the lawyers who then have to sort it out and I don't think anyone wins then.
I don't think you will get a solicitor to give joint advice.
At some point in the past you were a team and it seems a real shame to turn that on its head and become bitter enemies, in those case the only winners are the lawyers who then have to sort it out and I don't think anyone wins then.
I don't think you will get a solicitor to give joint advice.
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