Discussion
I've found out a good friends younger brother (25, so not a kid) has a serious gambling problem, he's somehow managed to get into £30k debt, on top of also owning quite afew people that he's borrowed money off.
To say it came as a shock would be an understatement, he's always been a level headed lad, very responsible with his money (or so we thought), doesn't smoke/drink, has a good job etc...
To start with there's trying to get him to knowledge he has a gambling addiction and trying to straighten him out, then there's the banks, and the money he owes to them.
My friends started by getting in touch with everyone he knows, and figuring out who he owes money to, and how much... after its all added up, I recon it'll be hitting the 40k mark.
Neither of us are sure where to start with this one, any suffestions?
To say it came as a shock would be an understatement, he's always been a level headed lad, very responsible with his money (or so we thought), doesn't smoke/drink, has a good job etc...
To start with there's trying to get him to knowledge he has a gambling addiction and trying to straighten him out, then there's the banks, and the money he owes to them.
My friends started by getting in touch with everyone he knows, and figuring out who he owes money to, and how much... after its all added up, I recon it'll be hitting the 40k mark.
Neither of us are sure where to start with this one, any suffestions?
BoRED S2upid said:
Bankruptcy.
Of course that won't help if he's been borrowing / gambling with some unsavoury characters.
The bankruptcy route would be the easiest route, and it's something we've discussed. Of course that won't help if he's been borrowing / gambling with some unsavoury characters.
I hate the idea of having such an option as almost a backdoor route to getting out of the s
tters, especially if someone puts themselves into it the way he has. thebraketester said:
If its 30k and hes got a good job and he can STOP gambling... then I dont see why he couldnt clear that debt over 4/5 years.
I'd call it more a 'steady' job rather a good/well paid job. First things first, getting him to acknowledge he's got a serious problem, which he doesn't seem to think at the moment.
Edited by Leroy902 on Wednesday 13th April 21:40
Leroy902 said:
BoRED S2upid said:
Bankruptcy.
Of course that won't help if he's been borrowing / gambling with some unsavoury characters.
The bankruptcy route would be the easiest route, and it's something we've discussed. Of course that won't help if he's been borrowing / gambling with some unsavoury characters.
I hate the idea of having such an option as almost a backdoor route to getting out of the s
tters, especially if someone puts themselves into it the way he has. PurpleMoonlight said:
How would bankruptcy affect his life? Credit rating will be well stuffed for 6 years plus.
What's his job, does he own his house, car etc?
It might be better to do a debt management plan with the creditors.
It can be much worse than that; I sat on a Jury for a case where someone was buying electronics on credit and immediately selling them for less than he would end up paying for them to fund a short term need to pay for alcohol. He declared himself bankrupt and was prosecuted because of his trading behavior. He argued that he needed short term cash was finishing university and would be earning a lot more, so thought he would have had the means to repay the debts when due. What's his job, does he own his house, car etc?
It might be better to do a debt management plan with the creditors.
Although that is plausible, it's very difficult to prove an intention beyond reasonable doubt, and in these cases the burden of proof lies with the defendant.
Although this clearly isn't exactly the same circumstances, I'd think gambling with borrowed money may well be treated the same way and the burden of proof would be the same. How do you prove "I was one win away from sorting it all out." vs "I can always declare bankruptcy if it doesn't work out."?
Leroy902 said:
I've found out a good friends younger brother (25, so not a kid) has a serious gambling problem, he's somehow managed to get into £30k debt, on top of also owning quite afew people that he's borrowed money off.
To say it came as a shock would be an understatement, he's always been a level headed lad, very responsible with his money (or so we thought), doesn't smoke/drink, has a good job etc...
To start with there's trying to get him to knowledge he has a gambling addiction and trying to straighten him out, then there's the banks, and the money he owes to them.
My friends started by getting in touch with everyone he knows, and figuring out who he owes money to, and how much... after its all added up, I recon it'll be hitting the 40k mark.
Neither of us are sure where to start with this one, any suffestions?
http://www.gambleaware.co.uk/To say it came as a shock would be an understatement, he's always been a level headed lad, very responsible with his money (or so we thought), doesn't smoke/drink, has a good job etc...
To start with there's trying to get him to knowledge he has a gambling addiction and trying to straighten him out, then there's the banks, and the money he owes to them.
My friends started by getting in touch with everyone he knows, and figuring out who he owes money to, and how much... after its all added up, I recon it'll be hitting the 40k mark.
Neither of us are sure where to start with this one, any suffestions?
You also need to get him to declare the addiction to his bookmakers so they can follow the industry guidelines re not taking bets from him.
I'd also suggest helping him find the next addiction to replace this one with. Addicts are addicts and ultimately the key for most is to find an addiction which isn't guaranteed life destroying like gambling or drugs are.
Borrowing and paying back the money he owes to friends won't be the problem, as much as it hurts him, his brother will clear the debt with them (being the amazing bigger brother he is), it's the money he owes to the banks that will be the problem.
After seeing him last night, It looks like it's starting to hit home just what he's done, and the position he's in. He's knowledged he needs help, which he'll get.
He lives at home with mummy and daddy, doesn't have a house/mortgage, and has a company car.
Would bankruptcy be an option?
After seeing him last night, It looks like it's starting to hit home just what he's done, and the position he's in. He's knowledged he needs help, which he'll get.
He lives at home with mummy and daddy, doesn't have a house/mortgage, and has a company car.
Would bankruptcy be an option?
First step is to self-exclude from each book maker / gaming site immediately so it removes the temptation of playing
Next step is to work out everything owed and to who as well as how much surplus income he has after paying required expenditure. I would also include some leisure activity in that as no one can live like a monk
Then contact the companies involved and explain the situation and try to come to a repayment arrangement including asking them to freeze any interest owed based on free income calculated above
I'd also try and remove any costs which aren't necessary e.g. Sky etc
Best of luck!
Next step is to work out everything owed and to who as well as how much surplus income he has after paying required expenditure. I would also include some leisure activity in that as no one can live like a monk
Then contact the companies involved and explain the situation and try to come to a repayment arrangement including asking them to freeze any interest owed based on free income calculated above
I'd also try and remove any costs which aren't necessary e.g. Sky etc
Best of luck!
The first question to ask is has the individual asked for help? Or has your friend just found out?
I hate to say it until the person gambling admits to himself he has a problem then your wasting your time, never underestimate the lengths an addict will go to keep gambling, self exclusion just means they will travel further away or be more secretive.
I have tried helping a family member who was into the same level of a hole... It's an incredible strain and not for the faint hearted, nor in my opinion can it be done without professional help or more importantly the willingness of the person to actually want to stop
I hate to say it until the person gambling admits to himself he has a problem then your wasting your time, never underestimate the lengths an addict will go to keep gambling, self exclusion just means they will travel further away or be more secretive.
I have tried helping a family member who was into the same level of a hole... It's an incredible strain and not for the faint hearted, nor in my opinion can it be done without professional help or more importantly the willingness of the person to actually want to stop
It'll be better to contact the banks now and fess up that he can't pay. They'll help him to create an achievable repayment plan (often knocking off the interest due) that means he won't have bailiffs knocking on the door and further escalating costs. If he waits until they chase him it'll only get worse for cost and stress.
Gassing Station | Finance | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff