Financial advice regarding divorce - unusual scenario
Discussion
Long time regular poster here, under an assumed name for this trhead (will remove this username when the sunshine is back in my life). I could use some financial advice on an unusual scenario;
I'll try and be brief. Been married for well over 10 years. Wife had an affair. We have teenage children, a house worth £300k, with little left to pay on the mortgage. I paid a sizeable deposit on this place. I have always paid for absolutely everything for everyone, mortgage, kids, cars, the lot. She earned reasonable money but kept it in her own account. Following her affair she briefly went to live elsewhere, then had a colossal mental breakdown and was taken to a secure mental health unit. She has been there for some time receiving treatment. Kids, understandably, are very very upset. So am I. She has been an alcoholic for years with other health/family issues. This isn't her first offence and I want her out of my life. Enough is enough.
The kids want to stay in the house and with me. They are awesome. I am happy for them to see their mum as often as they like when she is better. They see her occasionally now but it's very difficult, they are very angry, knowing what she has done. As a twist, her BF (who she claims to no longer see) is under investigation for being a pedophile, social services have made it clear that they're very happy with me as a single parent, but that she is not to see the kids if she is with him. The kids do not know this and I don't want to add the stress of that to them. It's looking unlikely that the Police will take action against him now, based on my last discussion with them (and what a f*cked up world we live in, honestly). I do not think she will see him again. She gave him money and I think he has done a runner.
Wife is now asking for her "half of the house". Half! I assume she is looking towards her release, and when she'll need somewhere of her own to live, and for the kids to perhaps stay (in the longer term if/when things are settled). She is entitled to something, but I don't want to give her half. I will file for divorce, of course. I do not want to have to get solicitors involved too soon if at all possible, it's a cost I can't afford. I hope we can reach a settlement with the minimum legal costs. I am not a rich man.
My question is this; Can we reach an agreement now, say I offer x% of the value of the house and remortgage in my own name to pay her off, and can we sign something that means she has no further claim against me for anything, ever? She hasn't mentioned pensions, future earnings, etc.. but I can't trust her not to come after that at a later date unless it's all signed and sealed now. I understand a divorce will be a final statement like this, but that will take a while to come through. She wants her share of the house now, no mention of anything else... yet. I am aware that I don't have to pay her now, as long as the kids are here, but would rather just get this out of the way with.
Another twist is that, because of her mental state, I do not want her to claim she was forced to sign under duress or something later and come back for more. A family member can, I am told, sign things on her behalf but I need to be 100% sure. Any thoughts on that?
This is a horrible scenario, advice on how I can pay her off and get her out of my life, financially, for good, would be most appreciated.
I'll try and be brief. Been married for well over 10 years. Wife had an affair. We have teenage children, a house worth £300k, with little left to pay on the mortgage. I paid a sizeable deposit on this place. I have always paid for absolutely everything for everyone, mortgage, kids, cars, the lot. She earned reasonable money but kept it in her own account. Following her affair she briefly went to live elsewhere, then had a colossal mental breakdown and was taken to a secure mental health unit. She has been there for some time receiving treatment. Kids, understandably, are very very upset. So am I. She has been an alcoholic for years with other health/family issues. This isn't her first offence and I want her out of my life. Enough is enough.
The kids want to stay in the house and with me. They are awesome. I am happy for them to see their mum as often as they like when she is better. They see her occasionally now but it's very difficult, they are very angry, knowing what she has done. As a twist, her BF (who she claims to no longer see) is under investigation for being a pedophile, social services have made it clear that they're very happy with me as a single parent, but that she is not to see the kids if she is with him. The kids do not know this and I don't want to add the stress of that to them. It's looking unlikely that the Police will take action against him now, based on my last discussion with them (and what a f*cked up world we live in, honestly). I do not think she will see him again. She gave him money and I think he has done a runner.
Wife is now asking for her "half of the house". Half! I assume she is looking towards her release, and when she'll need somewhere of her own to live, and for the kids to perhaps stay (in the longer term if/when things are settled). She is entitled to something, but I don't want to give her half. I will file for divorce, of course. I do not want to have to get solicitors involved too soon if at all possible, it's a cost I can't afford. I hope we can reach a settlement with the minimum legal costs. I am not a rich man.
My question is this; Can we reach an agreement now, say I offer x% of the value of the house and remortgage in my own name to pay her off, and can we sign something that means she has no further claim against me for anything, ever? She hasn't mentioned pensions, future earnings, etc.. but I can't trust her not to come after that at a later date unless it's all signed and sealed now. I understand a divorce will be a final statement like this, but that will take a while to come through. She wants her share of the house now, no mention of anything else... yet. I am aware that I don't have to pay her now, as long as the kids are here, but would rather just get this out of the way with.
Another twist is that, because of her mental state, I do not want her to claim she was forced to sign under duress or something later and come back for more. A family member can, I am told, sign things on her behalf but I need to be 100% sure. Any thoughts on that?
This is a horrible scenario, advice on how I can pay her off and get her out of my life, financially, for good, would be most appreciated.
Look at it top down, get in place a solicitor with the right approach. Consider a solicitor with the right approach. I'm guessing, the last thing you'll all need is a confrontational approach which will suck you dry of money and emotion.
http://www.resolution.org.uk
http://www.resolution.org.uk
Clean break order is what you need for no further claims after the divorce -
https://www.divorce-online.co.uk/blog/clean-break-...
https://www.divorce-online.co.uk/blog/clean-break-...
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