Separated 6 months, Can we agree finances now

[interstellar]

We separated at Christmas on good terms and have agreed to just let the two years pass before divorcing on the cheap.We were married 14 years.

We sorted monies out when we split and our house sale completes next week and the equity will go 50/50 from the solicitor to me and my ex.

We share our daughter 50/50 too and no no monies go either way and we have agreed not to after each others pensions so thats it all done.

We do have to wait 18 months though to divorce naturally.

Is it possible before someone comes into either of our lives and possibly tries to get us to go after the other one (stranger things have happened) we can get the financial clean break order done now so we can just stroll towards December 2019 and let the divorce go through with no fuss?

[interstellar]

No one?

[bad company]

Funnily enough I was listening to a man talking about a very similar situation on BBC Radio 4’s Moneybox just yesterday.

He and his ex got on just fine and shared responsibility for their son. Sounded like it was working very well with no need for lawyers.

[RacingPete]

I got a legal form from the internet that would put down in writing what we agreed, it is very important to have something signed by both sides on how you have split the assets and especially stating their right to claim pension from the other.

Regardless of how well you get on now, who knows what the future holds.

This document is a separation agreement, so can be done at any time.

[interstellar]

RacingPete said:

I got a legal form from the internet that would put down in writing what we agreed, it is very important to have something signed by both sides on how you have split the assets and especially stating their right to claim pension from the other.

Regardless of how well you get on now, who knows what the future holds.

This document is a separation agreement, so can be done at any time.

That's very helpful, thank you.

[anonymous-user]

Just out of interest, why have you decided to wait the 2 years before divorcing? After two years it is not just signing a piece of paper, you both have to prove you have been living in seperate households for at least two years.

Personally I would just go for unreasonable behaviour, I am sure all the following occured before you separated, otherwise why would you be getting a divorce?

Refusal to discuss/work on issues within the marriage
Not wanting to engage in any sexual or physical relations
Limited socialising happens as a couple
Lack of emotional support

Divorce and finances are totally separate things, you can be divorced without having the finances in place. But ensure you get a full and final settlement......

[PurpleMoonlight]

interstellar said:

No one?

You cannot get a Consent Order until you have started the formal divorce process.

This is because the financial side is 'ancillary' to the dissolution of the marriage, hence why it is called ancillary relief.

[interstellar]

Joey Deacon said:

Just out of interest, why have you decided to wait the 2 years before divorcing? After two years it is not just signing a piece of paper, you both have to prove you have been living in seperate households for at least two years.

Personally I would just go for unreasonable behaviour, I am sure all the following occured before you separated, otherwise why would you be getting a divorce?

Refusal to discuss/work on issues within the marriage
Not wanting to engage in any sexual or physical relations
Limited socialising happens as a couple
Lack of emotional support

Divorce and finances are totally separate things, you can be divorced without having the finances in place. But ensure you get a full and final settlement......

Well actually no we haven't had the above and I don't want to issue divorce proceedings no does she, we just became friends, no arguments , just friends. I am not going to rock the boat so we will leave it as is. We are both sensible and see each other most days due to our daughter,

[MehrunesDagon]

In a forum full of bloody stories of divorce, this thread is a welcome change imo.
Hope it all goes well, OP.

[anonymous-user]

interstellar said:

Joey Deacon said:

Just out of interest, why have you decided to wait the 2 years before divorcing? After two years it is not just signing a piece of paper, you both have to prove you have been living in seperate households for at least two years.

Personally I would just go for unreasonable behaviour, I am sure all the following occured before you separated, otherwise why would you be getting a divorce?

Refusal to discuss/work on issues within the marriage
Not wanting to engage in any sexual or physical relations
Limited socialising happens as a couple
Lack of emotional support

Divorce and finances are totally separate things, you can be divorced without having the finances in place. But ensure you get a full and final settlement......

Well actually no we haven't had the above and I don't want to issue divorce proceedings no does she, we just became friends, no arguments , just friends. I am not going to rock the boat so we will leave it as is. We are both sensible and see each other most days due to our daughter,

No arguments, friends and still having sex! Some people would take that as winning at marriage!

In all serious I hope it goes well, but from what has been said above you cannot finalise the finances until the divorce process has started. It is possible to be divorced without the financial settlement but not the other way around.

[interstellar]

Joey Deacon said:

No arguments, friends and still having sex! Some people would take that as winning at marriage!

In all serious I hope it goes well, but from what has been said above you cannot finalise the finances until the divorce process has started. It is possible to be divorced without the financial settlement but not the other way around.

Thanks at least I know we have to wait. I did look at the separation agreement but in practical terms we have done all that so we will just have to wait.

Thanks all.