Divorce & house settlement
Discussion
Good morning all, I'm sure I'm going to have to seek professional legal advice on this but I'm unsure of what to do regarding the division/settlement of our house when we divorce. In brief, Ex-wife's father bought our house for us in 2005, the same year we got married. Fast forward to 2018, we have separated and the divorce is underway. Now, I am aware that legally, as we are joint tenants on the deeds, I am entitled to 50% of the value of the house. However, as this house was bought for us (but mainly my ex) by her father, morally it doesn't sit right with me to claim that much of the house. My ex only works 3 days a week and is saying she cannot afford a loan or mortgage to give me a large sum of money. She has suggested a total amount of £20k for me, £10k of which I have already had as we equally split the savings when we separated. So, I'll walk away from a 13 year marriage and a £250k house with £20k, while she gets to live in said house with our two children with no mortgage ever to pay whilst being able to afford to work 3 days a week. I don't want to screw her or her father over but at the same time, I need to be able to move on with my life and eventually buy a house for myself - ideally something decent for our children to stay in as I have them 50% of the time.
I don't really know what I'm expecting anyone to say, I'm just out of ideas really! Would I be within my rights to say I'll have the £20k now and another £20k in say 5 years time? Should I just suck it up and move on to keep things amicable? Any advice on potential solutions would be massively appreciated!! Thanks.
I don't really know what I'm expecting anyone to say, I'm just out of ideas really! Would I be within my rights to say I'll have the £20k now and another £20k in say 5 years time? Should I just suck it up and move on to keep things amicable? Any advice on potential solutions would be massively appreciated!! Thanks.
With Kids involved you'd be lucky to get 50% of the family house.... probably more like 40%.
I would suggest working out how much the Ex Father-in-Law paid, how much was mortgaged and what the house is worth now. From there I would work out the equity that includes increase/decrease in house price and how much of the mortgae is paid off. Then split the equity 50/50. That would be just a starting point. Your ex's solicitor might want more 60/40. Depends on how much she's after.
As to the £20k savings split 2 ways, that doesn't come into the equation of how much of the house you get. If the house owes you £20k, then that's ontop of the savings split.
Don't forget too split the debt 50/50 as well..... any credit cards???????
Either way, your a bloke, you have kids, your getting divorced... your screwed. Join the club!
I would suggest working out how much the Ex Father-in-Law paid, how much was mortgaged and what the house is worth now. From there I would work out the equity that includes increase/decrease in house price and how much of the mortgae is paid off. Then split the equity 50/50. That would be just a starting point. Your ex's solicitor might want more 60/40. Depends on how much she's after.
As to the £20k savings split 2 ways, that doesn't come into the equation of how much of the house you get. If the house owes you £20k, then that's ontop of the savings split.
Don't forget too split the debt 50/50 as well..... any credit cards???????
Either way, your a bloke, you have kids, your getting divorced... your screwed. Join the club!
Thanks for the reply - haha, yes it seems that way!
The house was purchased for £165k and as far as I'm aware, the father in law sold another property (3 daughters, 3 rental properties) to fund it so no mortgage exists on the property at all. Our house before this one, we lived there for 3.5 years and I paid 100% of the mortgage during that time as my ex was studying to be a nurse. The profit from the sale of that house all went in to extending the current house. One option I suggested to my ex is that I see that full profit back (£32.5k). Apart from savings, nothing else to divide - no loans, credit cards or debt of any sort.
The house was purchased for £165k and as far as I'm aware, the father in law sold another property (3 daughters, 3 rental properties) to fund it so no mortgage exists on the property at all. Our house before this one, we lived there for 3.5 years and I paid 100% of the mortgage during that time as my ex was studying to be a nurse. The profit from the sale of that house all went in to extending the current house. One option I suggested to my ex is that I see that full profit back (£32.5k). Apart from savings, nothing else to divide - no loans, credit cards or debt of any sort.
KrazyIvan said:
When you say the FIL bought it for you, do you mean he bought it out right and gifted it to you? Bought it but you are paying home back? Or he arranged to be the guarantor for the mortgage?
Bought outright for us. We were never asked to repay a penny. He did the same for his other 2 daughters too. This is why I'm hesitant to go in demanding as much as possible. He's a top guy from a working class background who worked very hard throughout his life and bought 3 properties to rent out at the right time and they've made him some money. Admittedly, in his position, I wouldn't want my daughter's ex taking a chunk of the rewards of his hard work.Edited by MondyJim on Wednesday 24th October 11:40
MondyJim said:
GT03ROB said:
What do 3 bed houses cost where you are??
It varies but in the village where she still lives, around £230 - £280k. I could probably get one about 5 - 7 miles from there for around £180k but I wouldn't want to live in that area ideally.I'd forget about you paying 100% mortgage whilst your ex was studying..... that's what you do!
The difference between the current valuation (get one!!!) and the purchase price is both of your's equity. That's what your splitting up, if you want to leave the father in laws contribution out of it.... bearing in mind you don't have to. The house (however paid for) is an asset of the marriage!
The difference between the current valuation (get one!!!) and the purchase price is both of your's equity. That's what your splitting up, if you want to leave the father in laws contribution out of it.... bearing in mind you don't have to. The house (however paid for) is an asset of the marriage!
Thanks for all the replies guys!
Maybe I'll get the house valued and then ask for 50% of the equity/theoretical profit between purchase price and current value. Either that or I stay on the deeds until our youngest daughter is say 16 or 18 then she buys me out as suggested. The latter would cost her more money and I think would have stamp duty implications for me as I'd potentially be buying a second property if I buy before that point.
Appreciate the input.
Maybe I'll get the house valued and then ask for 50% of the equity/theoretical profit between purchase price and current value. Either that or I stay on the deeds until our youngest daughter is say 16 or 18 then she buys me out as suggested. The latter would cost her more money and I think would have stamp duty implications for me as I'd potentially be buying a second property if I buy before that point.
Appreciate the input.
Once married anything gifted is gifted to you both although I can see why you want to do the decent thing and not take that money.
I think here a fair split is £10k of savings plus 50% of the house increase so £42k if you wanted to be really nice maybe 1/3rd of the increase so you split between you, wife & FiL so £28k each.
I think here a fair split is £10k of savings plus 50% of the house increase so £42k if you wanted to be really nice maybe 1/3rd of the increase so you split between you, wife & FiL so £28k each.
Once married anything gifted is gifted to you both although I can see why you want to do the decent thing and not take that money.
I think here a fair split is £10k of savings plus 50% of the house increase so £42k if you wanted to be really nice maybe 1/3rd of the increase so you split between you, wife & FiL so £28k each.
I think here a fair split is £10k of savings plus 50% of the house increase so £42k if you wanted to be really nice maybe 1/3rd of the increase so you split between you, wife & FiL so £28k each.
smith335I said:
Once married anything gifted is gifted to you both although I can see why you want to do the decent thing and not take that money.
I think here a fair split is £10k of savings plus 50% of the house increase so £42k if you wanted to be really nice maybe 1/3rd of the increase so you split between you, wife & FiL so £28k each.
I would disagree with the above for this reason:I think here a fair split is £10k of savings plus 50% of the house increase so £42k if you wanted to be really nice maybe 1/3rd of the increase so you split between you, wife & FiL so £28k each.
'The profit from the sale of that house all went into extending the current house'
How much profit went into the extension, then take that off the profit as OPs money and then split the equity 50:50.
FIL gifted the house so unless on the papers or has a vested interest in the property its a moot point.
As you seem to have the right moral compass I would perhaps stick with the idea of keeping 40-50% of the house but with her living in it for the foreseeable future.
So she lives rent free/ok and you have a latent asset so that you aren't destitute later in life even if you have to rent over the coming years?
Worse (ish) case, you take the negotiated £20K-£40K you struggle to buy somewhere else, she gets coupled back up they live a lovely mortgage free life the kids can be semi spoilt while you are struggling.
Her dad seems pretty wealthy, she may well get something later in life and could buy you out then when there is little impact on her life, certainly compared to forcing things now (not sure that you can with kids involved)? Also a new man/her dad might end up buying you out?
If down the line you do ok and get back on your feet fully you could simply settle for less than the 40-50% then, so I spose what I'm alluding to is there is no going back, once you give up a claim to something it will be gone for good, so think carefully, get advise.
I spose I'm trying to look at it from point of view where both of you 'win' or at least no one is put in a place they are really struggling or there is a massive wealth divide?
So she lives rent free/ok and you have a latent asset so that you aren't destitute later in life even if you have to rent over the coming years?
Worse (ish) case, you take the negotiated £20K-£40K you struggle to buy somewhere else, she gets coupled back up they live a lovely mortgage free life the kids can be semi spoilt while you are struggling.
Her dad seems pretty wealthy, she may well get something later in life and could buy you out then when there is little impact on her life, certainly compared to forcing things now (not sure that you can with kids involved)? Also a new man/her dad might end up buying you out?
If down the line you do ok and get back on your feet fully you could simply settle for less than the 40-50% then, so I spose what I'm alluding to is there is no going back, once you give up a claim to something it will be gone for good, so think carefully, get advise.
I spose I'm trying to look at it from point of view where both of you 'win' or at least no one is put in a place they are really struggling or there is a massive wealth divide?
KrazyIvan said:
Legally, your going to be entitled to a fair share (May not end up being 50/50). Morally.......Well you already know the answer to that question. The out cone is going to depend on how much of "the bad guy" you want to be.
This is my dilemma. I'm normally way too soft with things like this. I don't want to be a bad guy, it has been an amicable split so far, but I'll really struggle to move on and rebuild my life in a new home on what she's currently offering.My best advice, having recently gone through it, would be to go and talk to a solicitor first, armed with as much financial info as you can. They can then advise you as to how much you'd be likely to see in any divorce, then work back from there to something you're comfortable with. Plucking figures out of the air from a well-meaning position of trying to be pragmatic and fair will only see you f*cked-over later, I assure you. Knowledge really is power here.
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