Moving in with the other half

[LosingGrip]

As per the title really. We are looking at renting somewhere together (currently both live with parents). I'm really looking for some advice as never done this before!

We both earn around the same, she gets paid monthly and I get paid four weekly with my main job (24 hours a week) and monthly with another (works out 12 hours a week, but it is 24 hours every two weeks). I also have a third voluntary job that I get expenses (petrol money to and from and meal allowance). It depends on how many hours I do, so not going to take this into account.

I'm thinking we set up a joint account and each month put half the total cost of the bills in there which is used then have our own separate ones for our own cars and stuff like that.

Any advice would be fantastic!

[MitchT]

LosingGrip said:

I'm thinking we set up a joint account and each month put half the total cost of the bills in there which is used then have our own separate ones for our own cars and stuff like that.

That's what the OH and I have always done. Seems to work.

[oldaudi]

Putting the same amount of money into a shared account normally starts well. It proves you trust each other and seeing money from your personal account to a share account shows a commitment too. However in my experience this starts off well but you have to keep to a budget. A few months in and you may find you are running short in that account or an unexpected bill may clear the account out. The women I’ve shared with then start throwing the “you’re earning more than me” line around and before you know it you’re topping the account up or she’s running short one month because she’s had her nails and hair done and you’ll have to top it up again. A shared account is a great way to start but depending on personal finances you may find it gets out of control a few months later. I have nothing valuable to add just my experience. But it’s a great place to be in sharing with the person you love so I wish you all the best with this part of your life!

Edited by oldaudi on Saturday 27th October 20:43

[anonymous-user]

A shared account is a good idea, but you need to agree up front what it can be used for.

The previous post might be a bit extreme, but if it does start to get used for other things "just this once" then that's the start of a slippery slope.

Get it right though and that's the easiest way

[MitchT]

oldaudi said:

A few months in and you may find you are running short in that account or an unexpected bill may clear the account out. The women I’ve share with then start throwing the “you’re earning more than me” line around...

Never had that problem. We both top it up equally if it runs low before the end of the month.

oldaudi said:

... or she’s running short one month because she’s had her nails and hair done and you’ll have to top it up again

Except that stuff should be coming from her personal account, not the joint one.

[oldaudi]

Aye I meant that she’s emptied her personal bank account so can’t add her share to the joint account.

[Sonie]

A separate joint account, both pay in the same amount, all bills, food, meals out can come out of this account.

What doesn’t, phone bills, presents, stuff you individually want.

[ARHarh]

Sonie said:

A separate joint account, both pay in the same amount, all bills, food, meals out can come out of this account.

What doesn’t, phone bills, presents, stuff you individually want.

This exactly been doing this for 22 years. Never had a problem.

[Frank7]

LosingGrip said:

As per the title really. We are looking at renting somewhere together (currently both live with parents). I'm really looking for some advice as never done this before!

We both earn around the same, she gets paid monthly and I get paid four weekly with my main job (24 hours a week) and monthly with another (works out 12 hours a week, but it is 24 hours every two weeks). I also have a third voluntary job that I get expenses (petrol money to and from and meal allowance). It depends on how many hours I do, so not going to take this into account.

I'm thinking we set up a joint account and each month put half the total cost of the bills in there which is used then have our own separate ones for our own cars and stuff like that.

Any advice would be fantastic!

With what you say about you both earning roughly the same, your idea sounds like a plan, but you should both be aware that for various reasons, the plan may need tweaking a tad from time to time.
As long as you both understand, and accept that, you’ll be okay.
Situations like these are very much horses for courses.
The last live-in relationship that I had, prior to the wheels falling off after 8 years, I was pulling down four times what she brought in.
So I suggested, and she agreed, that she’d be responsible for the weekly trip to the supermarket, and I’d cover everything else, mortgage, rates, (this was before Community Charge), insurances, utilities, servicing her car, holidays, the whole nine yards.
This suited us both, and there were never any disagreements about money.
If only I could have given up my predilection for flirting with anything in a skirt, we may have lasted.

[edthefed]

We both earn similar..me about 10% more.
We both pay the same amount into a joint account. It covers mortgage,council tax, car insurance x 2, house insurance, gas,electric,water, Sky and landline, with a small float each month.

We both have sole accounts...which we use for everything else. We each pay for own cars, fuel,servicing, mobiles etc.

Holidays split 50 / 50
Weekly Supermarket split 50 / 50
Everything else just falls into place...although i paid for the wedding and honeymoon.

Worked well for 17 years.

[malks222]

what we found worked for us, was to have 2 different joint accounts:

Joint (bills)- set up all house bills for this one account. you both put in whatever % is fair and you know every month that the bills are covered. we put a bit extra in this so it builds up and theres always a buffer to cover increases. also easy to keep track of bills if suddenly something goes up, a deal ends etc.... as its not mixed in with general spending.

Joint (spends)- we both put in a % of whats fair again, use this for anything that is a joint spend. food shopping, house shopping, going out as a couple, takeaways etc.... saves being stood at tesco going- eh I bought this last time, or who paid what......

personal accounts- covers anything we want to buy on our own, cars, clothes, hair, make up, nails, hookers, blow...... you know the personal essentials.

[LosingGrip]

Thanks for all the replies, all really useful .

I'm trying to be organised (ha!) and see what we need for when we move in.

So far we have a bed (well two), furniture for the bedroom and thats it!

Can anyone think of anything I've missed from the following...

Washing machine
Fridge/Freezer
Microwave
Toaster
Cooker/oven

Sofa
Table/chairs
TV stand (already got the TV)
Bathroom stuff (towels etc)

I'm sure I've missed something!

[mikeiow]

Presumably you are young and in love....who needs more than the bed!!
Looks a fair list for starters, I’d get in first then figure it out, you may find friends & workmates willing to pass on pieces they are changing.
On the account thing, I was earning about 50% more than my partner (now wife!) when we first shacked up, so I paid 50% more to the account. Always kept the ratio there, worked fine for us.
Good luck!

[rpuchalka]

I remember moving in with my OH...we had a list similar to yours and thought we had it all covered - Make sure you buy cooking utensils, crockery and cutlery so you at least have something to eat off and with!

[boyse7en]

LosingGrip said:

I'm thinking we set up a joint account and each month put half the total cost of the bills in there which is used then have our own separate ones for our own cars and stuff like that.

Any advice would be fantastic!

Pretty much what we did all those years ago...and we still do it now 25 years later so I guess it works OK.

Rather than putting in half the bills, we worked out roughly how much they would be, rounded it up and put that in. That means that over time you get a little bit extra in the joint account to cover any emergency/unusual outlay.

When we had kids and the missus stopped working we just adjusted the amount we each paid into the account.

[boyse7en]

LosingGrip said:

Thanks for all the replies, all really useful .

I'm trying to be organised (ha!) and see what we need for when we move in.

So far we have a bed (well two), furniture for the bedroom and thats it!

Can anyone think of anything I've missed from the following...

Washing machine
Fridge/Freezer
Microwave
Toaster
Cooker/oven

Sofa
Table/chairs
TV stand (already got the TV)
Bathroom stuff (towels etc)

I'm sure I've missed something!

Hoover
Ironing board
Kitchen utensils
Small tool kit (screwdrivers etc)
Bucket
Torch
Fire extinguisher for kitchen
Lawnmower and secateurs (if you have garden)
Rubbish bins (including bathroom)
Bedding (sheets, duvets, pillowcases)
Towels (lots)

[scotlandtim]

boyse7en said:

Hoover
Ironing board
Kitchen utensils
Small tool kit (screwdrivers etc)
Bucket
Torch
Fire extinguisher for kitchen
Lawnmower and secateurs (if you have garden)
Rubbish bins (including bathroom)
Bedding (sheets, duvets, pillowcases)
Towels (lots)

Secateurs - crucial ...............

[superlightr]

LosingGrip said:

As per the title really. We are looking at renting somewhere together (currently both live with parents). I'm really looking for some advice as never done this before!

We both earn around the same, she gets paid monthly and I get paid four weekly with my main job (24 hours a week) and monthly with another (works out 12 hours a week, but it is 24 hours every two weeks). I also have a third voluntary job that I get expenses (petrol money to and from and meal allowance). It depends on how many hours I do, so not going to take this into account.

I'm thinking we set up a joint account and each month put half the total cost of the bills in there which is used then have our own separate ones for our own cars and stuff like that.

Any advice would be fantastic!

you may need guarantors if you are looking to rent your first home as you have no landlords reference and how you list your income - ie part time/ non salary/transient type of work perhaps.

If you do need guarantors for the rental make sure you both have a parent each - not just 1x parent so the risk is spread over both sides.


As a letting agent we see young love - lovely. Which often after a few months is no longer young love and one wants out. We mitigate this risk by getting 2x guarantors who are in FT work/home owners. Just prewarning what may be asked of you by the letting agent. I hope it all works well.

[FunkyNige]

boyse7en said:

Rather than putting in half the bills, we worked out roughly how much they would be, rounded it up and put that in. That means that over time you get a little bit extra in the joint account to cover any emergency/unusual outlay.

That's what we do, the extra pays for things around the house, holiday spending money, etc.

With the list of bits to buy - ask around friends and family to see if they've got anything they want to get rid of first. Loads of people have an old toaster in the garage, curtains in the loft, etc. that they will happily give to you to save it being thrown out. Might not always be the best quality but it costs a fair chunk of money to set up a home so having some cheap stuff to tie you over until you get some money for nicer bits would be handy.
Take toilet roll with you on the day you move in.

[LosingGrip]

superlightr said:

you may need guarantors if you are looking to rent your first home as you have no landlords reference and how you list your income - ie part time/ non salary/transient type of work perhaps.

If you do need guarantors for the rental make sure you both have a parent each - not just 1x parent so the risk is spread over both sides.


As a letting agent we see young love - lovely. Which often after a few months is no longer young love and one wants out. We mitigate this risk by getting 2x guarantors who are in FT work/home owners. Just prewarning what may be asked of you by the letting agent. I hope it all works well.

Thanks for that. I'm hoping that being 29, having worked for the same company for the last 11 years and could afford the rent by myself (just!) would be OK. I know my parents wouldn't be willing to do it ha.

FunkyNige said:

That's what we do, the extra pays for things around the house, holiday spending money, etc.

With the list of bits to buy - ask around friends and family to see if they've got anything they want to get rid of first. Loads of people have an old toaster in the garage, curtains in the loft, etc. that they will happily give to you to save it being thrown out. Might not always be the best quality but it costs a fair chunk of money to set up a home so having some cheap stuff to tie you over until you get some money for nicer bits would be handy.
Take toilet roll with you on the day you move in.

I'm more than happy with secondhand stuff until we can afford our own things.