Divorce- Financial settlement questions

[xyz123]

Hi- Asking on behalf of a friend.

Husband wants divorce after 15 years of marriage and wife doesn’t for the sake of kids but can’t force husband of course. Trying to keep things amicable. Wanted to ask how does financial settlement work in divorce? Professionals will be engaged and there are different circumstances in each case but I am just trying to get some pointers. Sure mistakes have been made along the way with lack of financial prudence but this came out of nowhere (as is often the case) and just trying to establish the facts

1. Is the house generally split 50:50 ignoring any history of who paid the deposit or who paid the majority of the instalments?
2. If one person decides to stay in the house then they have to “buy” the other person out? i.e. take out a new mortgage in sole name and transfer some money to the other party. Am I correct?
3. How do savings get split? Both have individual savings accounts plus some joint accounts. Is it basically the total divided by 2?
4. Wife was gifted some money from her parents without any “legal” paperwork. Does this just form part of the “kitty” and 50% going to husband ignoring where the money came from?
5. Wife worked part time for childcare. How does this affect settlement?
6. How do child maintenance payments work? Is it basically the cost of two childs divided in proportion of the income i.e. higher income pays higher contribution? Or arethere other factors. If it matters, kids are 6 and 10, both going to private schools.

Thanks. if anything else is needed pls ask and i will try to get more info.

[vulture1]

Mist be really bad if he is wanting the divorce knowing that the wife will defo get more as she will get the kids and doesn't want the divorce

[Mr Pointy]

Pensions are another big one - often the wife has very different pension savings to te husband.

[PM3]

Mr Pointy said:

Pensions are another big one - often the wife has very different pension savings to te husband.

Friend and work colleague of mine went thru this . He had a pretty decent final salary allocation by this point ......they took a CHUNCK of that in cash value ( by arrangement ) so that when he finally retires , the new DB he will get will be "clean" of her future attachment
Was amicable at beginning, but not very by the time the lawyers got their poison in the veins
Children....I gather they just got the CSA to do their thing as that was going to happen one way or other at some point
All money was joint and divided as such , BUT a large pot which was clearly hers from a not to distance inheritance was still her money
House ....I understand she remained and he was to be settled out of "his" half . decent house in great area with lots of equity
Valuable possessions acquired during the marriage financially accounted for and taken into calculation account

Despite some animosity and back and forth for a while, settled down and between the 2 lawyers and the actuary involved I gather the final deal was reasonably civilised and neither side apparently feeling over gouged . Probably helps that he was intending and time has definitely bourne this out being a VERY active part of the children's future, even though she had notional custody

[oscmax]

On the very limited information you have provided, I am assuming there are potentially significant sums in issue here.

So...speaking as a lawyer...

Your friend needs to get some advice from someone who actually knows what they are talking about. No-one, qualified or not, is going to be able to answer any of your/his questions in any meaningful way on the basis of the information you have provided. Anyone who reckons they can do so is demonstrably not qualified to assist.

He also needs to decide/do nothing before taking that advice. Take no decisions on the basis of what has already been said (and inevitably will be said) in this thread. The vast majority of it will be simply wrong, and indeed plenty of what has been said already is.

[Mr Pointy]

oscmax said:

On the very limited information you have provided, I am assuming there are potentially significant sums in issue here.

So...speaking as a lawyer...

Your friend needs to get some advice from someone who actually knows what they are talking about. No-one, qualified or not, is going to be able to answer any of your/his questions in any meaningful way on the basis of the information you have provided. Anyone who reckons they can do so is demonstrably not qualified to assist.

He also needs to decide/do nothing before taking that advice. Take no decisions on the basis of what has already been said (and inevitably will be said) in this thread. The vast majority of it will be simply wrong, and indeed plenty of what has been said already is.

Go on then, detail all the "wrong" statements made so far. There's only been one.

[PM3]

so far the lawyer advice is going the way of my friends experience . Oh and in the end , they both made stupid and way off base pitches to each party . Both lawyers were experienced and worked in that area too . Of course they got all their fees, including those associated with wasting time .

[oscmax]

Mr Pointy said:

oscmax said:

On the very limited information you have provided, I am assuming there are potentially significant sums in issue here.

So...speaking as a lawyer...

Your friend needs to get some advice from someone who actually knows what they are talking about. No-one, qualified or not, is going to be able to answer any of your/his questions in any meaningful way on the basis of the information you have provided. Anyone who reckons they can do so is demonstrably not qualified to assist.

He also needs to decide/do nothing before taking that advice. Take no decisions on the basis of what has already been said (and inevitably will be said) in this thread. The vast majority of it will be simply wrong, and indeed plenty of what has been said already is.

Go on then, detail all the "wrong" statements made so far. There's only been one.

No, there hasn't only been one wrong statement (and the use of quotations is inappropriate - they were simply incorrect).

I deliberately did not take issue with any particular comment or poster as I was fairly sure it would do no more than obscure the point I was actually trying to make, as I think your response is inadvertently demonstrating!

[dundarach]

stop arguing on here

tell them to go see a professional

(with a list of all their assets, pensions, houses, cars, outgoings and ins, ages of all the kids, and everything they can think of, in a simple spreadsheet)

that's the end of it!

[dmahon]

If it’s a long marriage then everything goes into a pot 50/50 as a starting point.

If young children are involved, the wife will typically then get more as she will be looking after kids, plus the kids will need stability so she may get to stay in the house till they are 18 or leave full time education.

The wife will also possibly have diminished her earning potential which brings things like pensions into play.

If it’s a short marriage, things like who paid the deposit come into play more.

Basically, it’s *extremely* expensive for the bloke.

You can agree things amicably, but it will still go before a judge who will refuse to sign if it is deemed unfair.

[Deesee]

I’d suggest he just takes on a full time mistress, and keeps paying the bills..

[dmahon]

You must have to be deeply unhappy or absolutely besotted with the bit on the side to get divorced when you have you have young kids. It’s financially ruinous!

[bigothunter]

Deesee said:

I’d suggest he just takes on a full time mistress, and keeps paying the bills..

Financial prudence during the marriage counts for nothing. Much better to have squandered your capital irresponsibly and start negotiating from a position of debt.

[Deesee]

bigothunter said:

Deesee said:

I’d suggest he just takes on a full time mistress, and keeps paying the bills..

Financial prudence during the marriage counts for nothing. Much better to have squandered your capital irresponsibly and start negotiating from a position of debt.

Pretty much

Either FRO and give 70% of everything, or let her/him take a lover/s pay the bills for the family! Divorce tends to end in another divorce..

[MattS5]

dundarach said:

stop arguing on here

tell them to go see a professional

(with a list of all their assets, pensions, houses, cars, outgoings and ins, ages of all the kids, and everything they can think of, in a simple spreadsheet)

that's the end of it!

Sage advice, and can be very simple if both parties are in agreement.
The need to remember it's about the welfare of the kids (if any involved) should come before any personal hostilities.

It can work out to be fairly strightforward, even with relativley complex financial situations. And it's not always the "bloke" who has to give up the majority of his financial contribution to the relationship.
These days there are many females earning considerably more than the man, which means the tables can be reversed, and the man actually comes out of it all ok.

And yes, I'm speaking from experience, albeit when i mentioned it nearly 2 years ago on here, I was told by many on here that wouldn't be the case.

If the marriage has really just broken down, as opposed to one party cheating, divorce can be amicable. Albeit still rather elongated.

[Collectingbrass]

xyz123 said:

Hi- Asking on behalf of a friend.

Husband wants divorce after 15 years of marriage and wife doesn’t for the sake of kids but can’t force husband of course. Trying to keep things amicable. Wanted to ask how does financial settlement work in divorce? Professionals will be engaged and there are different circumstances in each case but I am just trying to get some pointers. Sure mistakes have been made along the way with lack of financial prudence but this came out of nowhere (as is often the case) and just trying to establish the facts

1. Is the house generally split 50:50 ignoring any history of who paid the deposit or who paid the majority of the instalments?
2. If one person decides to stay in the house then they have to “buy” the other person out? i.e. take out a new mortgage in sole name and transfer some money to the other party. Am I correct?
3. How do savings get split? Both have individual savings accounts plus some joint accounts. Is it basically the total divided by 2?
4. Wife was gifted some money from her parents without any “legal” paperwork. Does this just form part of the “kitty” and 50% going to husband ignoring where the money came from?
5. Wife worked part time for childcare. How does this affect settlement?
6. How do child maintenance payments work? Is it basically the cost of two childs divided in proportion of the income i.e. higher income pays higher contribution? Or arethere other factors. If it matters, kids are 6 and 10, both going to private schools.

Thanks. if anything else is needed pls ask and i will try to get more info.

First off, put the children's wellbeing first, go to your local mediation service and get a lawyer.

Secondly, IME and assuming this isnt an extreme case, the assets of the marrage are totalled and that is divided 50:50, regardless of asset class. It's at that point that decisions on who gets the house v the savings v the pension are made. Who earnt or paid what doesn't matter.

If one person wants to keep a significant asset, the other must be balanced. This may involve a new mortgage in the case of a house, but individual circumstances will rule. If the children need a home to 21 (say) this may affect the timing of the asset split but not the principle

If the money was a gift with no paperwork from the time to say it is a loan, it's an asset of the marriage to be put in the pot for division

The wife's reduced career may affect ongoing spousal maintenance if the children are young or she is near retirement & pension split, but there are also many other factors. Put the children's wellbeing first, go to your local mediation service and get a lawyer.

This will tell you all there is to know about child maintainance. https://www.gov.uk/child-maintenance-service

Put the children's wellbeing first, go to your local mediation service and get a lawyer. I'm stressing the mediation service (who are not Relate, they are specialist financial mediators) as they really helped in my divorce and if the couple cannot agree the financial split they'll have to go there before they try and go before a judge anyway.

[xyz123]

Thanks for all replies. Intent of the questions was to get an idea and not take it as "advise". I will pass on the suggestions to my friend and they are of course already engaging solicitor. Thanks

[supersport]

Go see a family lawyer, not a local one that does a bit of everything.

The only advise is, don't argue or fanny around. Be sensible and don't pay lawyers to argue over stupid things that are illogical.

The amicable and reasonable the couple are the more of their own money they will keep.

[Powerkiter]

xyz123 said:

Hi- Asking on behalf of a friend.

Husband wants divorce after 15 years of marriage and wife doesn’t for the sake of kids but can’t force husband of course. Trying to keep things amicable. Wanted to ask how does financial settlement work in divorce? Professionals will be engaged and there are different circumstances in each case but I am just trying to get some pointers. Sure mistakes have been made along the way with lack of financial prudence but this came out of nowhere (as is often the case) and just trying to establish the facts

1. Is the house generally split 50:50 ignoring any history of who paid the deposit or who paid the majority of the instalments?
2. If one person decides to stay in the house then they have to “buy” the other person out? i.e. take out a new mortgage in sole name and transfer some money to the other party. Am I correct?
3. How do savings get split? Both have individual savings accounts plus some joint accounts. Is it basically the total divided by 2?
4. Wife was gifted some money from her parents without any “legal” paperwork. Does this just form part of the “kitty” and 50% going to husband ignoring where the money came from?
5. Wife worked part time for childcare. How does this affect settlement?
6. How do child maintenance payments work? Is it basically the cost of two childs divided in proportion of the income i.e. higher income pays higher contribution? Or arethere other factors. If it matters, kids are 6 and 10, both going to private schools.

Thanks. if anything else is needed pls ask and i will try to get more info.

All property, business, savings, cars, watches, guns, etc. go into the pot and a split needs to be agreed. Pensions are generally excluded from the pot in the first instance. I had a very stuborn ex-wife who thought she was ENTITLED to an 80-20 split in her favor. No end of discussions between solicitors, mediators, etc. would get her to budge. I ended up having to go for a full financial hearing in court and the judge finally awarded her 57.5% (which excluded by business).

Pensions would probably need to go to an actuary to work out likely payments upon retirement. The actuary can then make a recommendation of transfer from one party to another to equalize payments upon retirement.

I would suggest trying to sort out before going to court. Solicitors do not help the situation, they just write letters, don't give any advice. My ex-wife ran up a £45k legal bill, shocking considering mine was £17k (still A LOT of money).

Going to court is an absolute lottery! All down to which party the judge generally sides (some usually favor the wife, some the husband). My barrister said that she could almost predict the outcome before any hearing based on which judge you were allocated.

Edited by Powerkiter on Thursday 7th July 14:11

[Vasco]

As others have suggested, nobody will be able to give any realistic help as they cannot be in possession of sufficient detailed information.

You/friend need a solicitor specialising in family matters.

The only safe thing is to stay on amicable terms, bite your tongue, be helpful and make the children a major issue.