Some barsteward has nicked my sprouts

[anonymous-user]

[redacted]

[Laurel Green]

If you do manage to catch the culprit, give them a cauliflower-ear.

[Simpo Two]

Next year, place a sign saying 'Experimental plot: Fertilised with human excrement'

[Mr GrimNasty]

You need tur-nip this in the bud.

[Laurel Green]

Hand-grenades, painted green, affixed to stem by pin.

[CATS ARE BOXING]

You've bean had

[madbadger]

Look on the bright side - you don't have to eat them now.

[Shaw Tarse]

You lot should stop taking the pea!

[Sheets Tabuer]

Have you thought about painting your goolies green and hiding amongst the cabbages to catch them with a tempting offer of some ripe veg?

[hornetrider]

Simpo Two said:

Next year, place a sign saying 'Experimental plot: Fertilised with human excrement'

This. Or... because you know they are hanging round your plot can I humbly suggest "I pissed on those sprouts lmao roflcopter wtf bbq"

[Tanguero]

Bottle of "Stop 'n' Grow" and a small syringe... I believe the flavour of Bitrex is quite persistent.

[TooLateForAName]

Is it people? Our dogs are quite partial to sprouts and I've caught them eating them from the stems several times.

[Marty63]

Next time try putting them in claymore ??

[Simpo Two]

Marty63 said:

Next time try putting them in claymore ??

A mediaeval longsword?

[Tonto]

Simpo Two said:

A mediaeval longsword?

More like

[Tonto]

Simpo Two said:

A mediaeval longsword?

More like

[Simpo Two]

Ah right.

But putting the sprouts IN the claymore would be self-defeating. You might kill the miscreant but you'd also blow your sprouts to kingdom come...




Kamikaze sprouts. Now there's a concept to juggle with.