Oh no I have to deal with my neighbour.........
Discussion
Looking for advice from the collective.
In 2008 we bought a holiday home, and proceeded to renovate and care for it. All was well. Made efforts to get on with the neighbours, and generally managed to do this.
One day, in 2010 or so I had a letter from the police inviting me to the station to discuss a case of vandalism that had been attributed to me. Turns out that my immediate neighbour had reported me to the police for fixing a piece of wood to our common wall.
When I checked on the deeds it turned out the wall belonged to me, though his deeds apparently showed it belonged to him. As an act of common decency, I removed the wood, and had a chat. He was thoroughly abusive, yelled at the Mrs and kids, and ended up being cautioned by the police.
As time went on, we decided to rent the cottage out. On one occasion, the neighbour chased a 10 year old boy with a stick for leaning against the wall (WTF?).
Last week he managed a shouting match with a bloke I asked to cut the lawn, including threatening the lawn cutters 7 year old son, and later going around to their house a mile or so away and shouting abuse through the gate. (police involved again).
I thought it was just me and my house, but a neighbour 5 or 6 doors down has had similar experiences, after he threatened the plumber fixing their boiler (van parked in the wrong place apparently), and then keyed the neighbours car in some kind of malicious revenge.
There are a few other examples of pretty poor behaviour as well, but, you'll get the idea by now, he is a most unpleasant 'gentleman'
So you can imagine, I do not enjoy the company of my neighbour.....
The latest is that he has reported my front garden wall for being dangerous.
Following inspection with the council, I am now in a position where I need to rebuild it. Unfortunately, I also need to rebuild part of the wall that separates me and my nasty old neighbour - according to my deeds, this is a commonly owned wall.
I have contacted my insurance company, and it appears that at least some of this cost will be covered by subsidence insurance.
So the question is how do I now deal with Mr Grumpy. I was thinking of writing to him, asking him for permission to access his drive for repair rights, and asking him for a small contribution to the wall repair. I have little doubt that both requests will be immediately rebuffed. Or should I just explain this to the insurance co, and let their legal guys deal with it. Or indeed is there a better way.
Comments are welcome but....
a) He doesn't have a dog to bum.
b) He has CCTV so don't want to do the frozen sausage trick. LOL
Look forward to some OP bashing, but here goes.
In 2008 we bought a holiday home, and proceeded to renovate and care for it. All was well. Made efforts to get on with the neighbours, and generally managed to do this.
One day, in 2010 or so I had a letter from the police inviting me to the station to discuss a case of vandalism that had been attributed to me. Turns out that my immediate neighbour had reported me to the police for fixing a piece of wood to our common wall.
When I checked on the deeds it turned out the wall belonged to me, though his deeds apparently showed it belonged to him. As an act of common decency, I removed the wood, and had a chat. He was thoroughly abusive, yelled at the Mrs and kids, and ended up being cautioned by the police.
As time went on, we decided to rent the cottage out. On one occasion, the neighbour chased a 10 year old boy with a stick for leaning against the wall (WTF?).
Last week he managed a shouting match with a bloke I asked to cut the lawn, including threatening the lawn cutters 7 year old son, and later going around to their house a mile or so away and shouting abuse through the gate. (police involved again).
I thought it was just me and my house, but a neighbour 5 or 6 doors down has had similar experiences, after he threatened the plumber fixing their boiler (van parked in the wrong place apparently), and then keyed the neighbours car in some kind of malicious revenge.
There are a few other examples of pretty poor behaviour as well, but, you'll get the idea by now, he is a most unpleasant 'gentleman'
So you can imagine, I do not enjoy the company of my neighbour.....
The latest is that he has reported my front garden wall for being dangerous.
Following inspection with the council, I am now in a position where I need to rebuild it. Unfortunately, I also need to rebuild part of the wall that separates me and my nasty old neighbour - according to my deeds, this is a commonly owned wall.
I have contacted my insurance company, and it appears that at least some of this cost will be covered by subsidence insurance.
So the question is how do I now deal with Mr Grumpy. I was thinking of writing to him, asking him for permission to access his drive for repair rights, and asking him for a small contribution to the wall repair. I have little doubt that both requests will be immediately rebuffed. Or should I just explain this to the insurance co, and let their legal guys deal with it. Or indeed is there a better way.
Comments are welcome but....
a) He doesn't have a dog to bum.
b) He has CCTV so don't want to do the frozen sausage trick. LOL
Look forward to some OP bashing, but here goes.
I have so constructive advice at all I am afraid.
Your neighbour appears to be a complete nutter. As such, any tactics you use will have an unpredictable outcome.
You could be ultra nice to the point of making him uncomfortable with your overwhelming smiles and warm niceness. People are not used to extreme politeness and empathy. It wrong foots them. Bake him a cake or something.
On the other hand you could fight fire with fire and simply shout him down like an Alpha dog and make him cry. That could work too. Maybe he respects strength.
But it is completely unpredictable. Either tactic could work. Either could fail . Either could make things worse.
You have my sympathies.
If it was me I would start with the former.
Your neighbour appears to be a complete nutter. As such, any tactics you use will have an unpredictable outcome.
You could be ultra nice to the point of making him uncomfortable with your overwhelming smiles and warm niceness. People are not used to extreme politeness and empathy. It wrong foots them. Bake him a cake or something.
On the other hand you could fight fire with fire and simply shout him down like an Alpha dog and make him cry. That could work too. Maybe he respects strength.
But it is completely unpredictable. Either tactic could work. Either could fail . Either could make things worse.
You have my sympathies.
If it was me I would start with the former.
He sounds like a right t
t.
I think you are left with the choice of attempting to a) ignore him as best as possible (most probably the sensible option) or b) attempt to legally wind him up as much as possible.
Initial thoughts: How high and ugly can you legally rebuild this wall? Can you get him ASBO'd? Fancy some leylandi? A snotter car parked outside his house will annoy him no end from what you say - better yet a nice rusty van.
I'd fit cctv myself first though, you never know he may give you a Police Action gift.
t.I think you are left with the choice of attempting to a) ignore him as best as possible (most probably the sensible option) or b) attempt to legally wind him up as much as possible.
Initial thoughts: How high and ugly can you legally rebuild this wall? Can you get him ASBO'd? Fancy some leylandi? A snotter car parked outside his house will annoy him no end from what you say - better yet a nice rusty van.
I'd fit cctv myself first though, you never know he may give you a Police Action gift.
Out of interest, what is the alternative to rebuilding the wall?
I'm guessing it's not a grade II listed wall, so it's possible for this not to exist?
As a result, a letter may be best explaining the circumstances whereby you could bluff a little:
a) Wall is repaired with access granted and a contribution is made to the cost
b) The whole wall is knocked down as it is a potential health and safety hazard
He might then start to regret reporting it.
What gives anyway, is he old or does he have a mental ailment of some sort (or affinity for the green stuff?)
I'm guessing it's not a grade II listed wall, so it's possible for this not to exist?
As a result, a letter may be best explaining the circumstances whereby you could bluff a little:
a) Wall is repaired with access granted and a contribution is made to the cost
b) The whole wall is knocked down as it is a potential health and safety hazard
He might then start to regret reporting it.
What gives anyway, is he old or does he have a mental ailment of some sort (or affinity for the green stuff?)
Oh, and while you are fitting cctv, how about a few extremely bright and annoying PIR security lights that he activates everytime he moves. A burglar alarm that occasionally goes off for "no reason" with also be irritation, especially as it's a holiday home and would thus take quite a long time to turn off.
I suggest that you find out from some legal eagle to confirm things, but I believe that you have the right to go onto adjoining property for the specific task of repairs to a structure that forms part of the border, ie wall fence etc. there will obviously be stipulations on informing him, making good afterwards etc. but check with someone who really knows the law on these things.
You're going to need to talk to him at some point.
Point out that if you get access to his land to rebuild that section of the wall then the wall will be better built. Remind him that if he doesn't co-operate then you'll rebuild the wall but won't point/render his side smoothly so it'll be in his interest to be civil.
Or ply him with alcohol and then bum him?
Point out that if you get access to his land to rebuild that section of the wall then the wall will be better built. Remind him that if he doesn't co-operate then you'll rebuild the wall but won't point/render his side smoothly so it'll be in his interest to be civil.
Or ply him with alcohol and then bum him?
Here's how to deal with it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGhs6l43Vjk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3LerLGezZ0
Make his life a misery...Tony Soprano stylie.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGhs6l43Vjk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3LerLGezZ0
Make his life a misery...Tony Soprano stylie.
First of all, anyone who doesn't understand the distress caused by frozen sausages in someone's lawn or bumming the neighbours dog needs to Google dog bumming and frozen sausages. It is in the public domain for all to see.
The sad thing is that there are some people who don't know how to deal with matters and act like the crazy neighbour here. You have to rise above them.
My suggestion is either sell up or take the neighbour a bottle of scotch and a box of chocolates and say to them - can we start again.
I've got the worlds best neighbours at both of my houses and I think some of that is due to me being st scared of having bad neighbours (I've had them before). Very few neighbours are bad when you are very nice to them.
If that fails, bum the dog, draw big cock and balls in the grass with weed killer and knock the frozen sausages in.
The sad thing is that there are some people who don't know how to deal with matters and act like the crazy neighbour here. You have to rise above them.
My suggestion is either sell up or take the neighbour a bottle of scotch and a box of chocolates and say to them - can we start again.
I've got the worlds best neighbours at both of my houses and I think some of that is due to me being s
t scared of having bad neighbours (I've had them before). Very few neighbours are bad when you are very nice to them. If that fails, bum the dog, draw big cock and balls in the grass with weed killer and knock the frozen sausages in.
TBH I have wondered if he is on the right medication. He's never been a 'nice' bloke, but more recently his behaviour seems completely bizarre.
It's a real stress dealing with a bloke like this, I'm always pumped on adrenaline when I see him, and rational response becomes much more difficult.
I have adopted the ignoring bit for as long as possible, and this seems to be the best strategy, but this is not possible with a problem that needs compromise and a reasonable approach.
It's a real stress dealing with a bloke like this, I'm always pumped on adrenaline when I see him, and rational response becomes much more difficult.
I have adopted the ignoring bit for as long as possible, and this seems to be the best strategy, but this is not possible with a problem that needs compromise and a reasonable approach.
What do you mean write to him????
Even if he is a PITA - pop round - be pleasant and agree with his point of view that the wall needs to be fixed.
Take a builder with you - he will likely say - "I'll need access to neighbour's land to fix that mate".
So - if he wants it sorted - he knows what will happen.
Shouldn't this be in the lounge or something? Can't even see a mention of a motor?
Even if he is a PITA - pop round - be pleasant and agree with his point of view that the wall needs to be fixed.
Take a builder with you - he will likely say - "I'll need access to neighbour's land to fix that mate".
So - if he wants it sorted - he knows what will happen.
Shouldn't this be in the lounge or something? Can't even see a mention of a motor?
Hi, yeah, that's a great point.
I have written to the gentleman tonight, requesting access. In the event of him not agreeing, I will need to apply for a court order to enable this - which is what is referred to in the linked text. I'm quite prepared to do this, though I would much prefer not to have to.
I'm also interested in the sharing costs thing - In the event of him not agreeing to share costs, and the dividing wall being repaired at my expense, does it become my wall? I can see that really irritating.
I have written to the gentleman tonight, requesting access. In the event of him not agreeing, I will need to apply for a court order to enable this - which is what is referred to in the linked text. I'm quite prepared to do this, though I would much prefer not to have to.
I'm also interested in the sharing costs thing - In the event of him not agreeing to share costs, and the dividing wall being repaired at my expense, does it become my wall? I can see that really irritating.
I had a neighbour who was a royal pain in the ass and everyone hated him, me and another guy on the street played constant planks on him regarding what he constantly complained about, he did toe the line. But the trick was finding things which were harmless yet get the message accross.
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