Would you live in...

[essexplumber]

A house in the middle of a forest? I live about 4 miles from epping forest and whenever i drive past/through i always think that there is no way id ever live in it. There are quite a few dwellings in there. I dont care how tall my boundry walls were, how many guns id have or how many rottwielers i had prowling the grounds it just would not happen. Whenever i discuss it with the mrs she agrees on the grounds that we'd be at risk from robbers etc. My grounds however are if i was in, at night, alone and i heard even the faintest of howls id no doubt have a heart attack there and then.

[colonel c]

If I could afford to. Yes I would.

[leggly]

In a heartbeat!

[branflakes]

You're forgetting one of the advanatges of living in a forest - plenty of room to bury the bodies.

[essexplumber]

leggly said:

In a heartbeat!

Does that mean you would but only if you had a big tank to shoot the werewolfs with.

[essexplumber]

branflakes said:

You're forgetting one of the advanatges of living in a forest - plenty of room to bury the bodies.

I think epping forest is already full to the brim with bodies.

Edited by essexplumber on Saturday 26th December 03:28

[leggly]

essexplumber said:

leggly said:

In a heartbeat!

Does that mean you would but only if you had a big tank to shoot the werewolfs with.

I hadn't given Werewolves a thought, well done. I was more worried about chavs. Although the smilie was a tank, I,m convinced that if I lived I a wood/forest, no fker would survive. I've had enough of scum helping themselves. PAYBACK. Oh I know it's a dream but one day......
Do I sound a bit radical?

[essexplumber]

leggly said:

essexplumber said:

leggly said:

In a heartbeat!

Does that mean you would but only if you had a big tank to shoot the werewolfs with.

I hadn't given Werewolves a thought, well done. I was more worried about chavs. Although the smilie was a tank, I,m convinced that if I lived I a wood/forest, no fker would survive. I've had enough of scum helping themselves. PAYBACK. Oh I know it's a dream but one day......
Do I sound a bit radical?

No i never thought about the benefits of being that remote. You would be very vunerable to attack from the chavs. I think some sort of chav hating attack dog would be in order. You could make a game of it, set up some chav lures, sports wear and electrical goods carelessly strewn about the grounds perhaps. When mr chav scales the wall the attack dog could render him immobile, i could then do some wheel spins on his face and bury him in the forest. I think im coming round to this living in the sticks lark.

[leggly]

essexplumber said:

leggly said:

essexplumber said:

leggly said:

In a heartbeat!

Does that mean you would but only if you had a big tank to shoot the werewolfs with.

I hadn't given Werewolves a thought, well done. I was more worried about chavs. Although the smilie was a tank, I,m convinced that if I lived I a wood/forest, no fker would survive. I've had enough of scum helping themselves. PAYBACK. Oh I know it's a dream but one day......
Do I sound a bit radical?

No i never thought about the benefits of being that remote. You would be very vunerable to attack from the chavs. I think some sort of chav hating attack dog would be in order. You could make a game of it, set up some chav lures, sports wear and electrical goods carelessly strewn about the grounds perhaps. When mr chav scales the wall the attack dog could render him immobile, i could then do some wheel spins on his face and bury him in the forest. I think im coming round to this living in the sticks lark.

Train the dogs to attack Burrberry. Never wheel spin on a Chavs face, this will reduce traction due to amount of puss clogging your tyres. It's easier to tie them to a tree and pull them apart. I'm not condoning killing chavs, I'm trying to help with traction issues folk my have while dealing with vermin

[T89 Callan]

It's one of my ambitions.

[Jasandjules]

Yes, I'd love to.

[Simpo Two]

I wood.



I'm sure the crime rate in forests is much lower than the crime rate in towns.

[essexplumber]

Why move it FFS. What can i post in the lounge.

[Wings]

Thought that many a time late at night driving across Salisbury Plain, and passing an isolated farm house advertising B&B.

[essexplumber]

Wings said:

Thought that many a time late at night driving across Salisbury Plain, and passing an isolated farm house advertising B&B.

I bet i know what you thought...fk THAT.

[Merlot]

Yes.

[clumpy]

My mother lives 6 miles from the nearest town in wales, down long and windy country lanes.

All you can hear around there is sheep and cows. Brilliant

[Mk2 Jim]

I don't live in the middle of a forest but do live in the middle of nowhere - I.e. single track roads, no streetlights, phone box, church, pub, shop etc.
Its bliss, no scum, no distractions, no window salesmen, Jehovahs witnesses, junkmail - except for Royal mail delivered crap - Am I scared no, We all have firearms lol!
In all seriousness we all have dogs locally - probably due to lifestyle more than anything and my dogs let me know if something is not right - which is very rare.
I couldn't move back to suburbia like where my parents and peers live - too much noise, light and scumbags - even in the pleasant areas - people are very selfish these days towards others.

[ShadownINja]

[oldbanger]

Yes, definitely. One of the perks of my old line of work was being able to go into the middle of woodland and just sit there, listening to the trees and the odd horny stag. I do miss that.