Cat advice at the end of my tether
Discussion
We adopted 2 sisters 3 years ago, who are now about 8 years, rehomed through a local cat charity from some people who were apparently moving to Australia. We live in the country side and have a magnetic cat flap. There are 2 cats a couple of doors away, which live outside and are often hungry.
Anyway one of my cats is perfect, apart from constantly nagging me for food it is no problem at all and handles itself against the other cats. The other cat is more homely and will not go outside if it can avoid it, if I lock it outside the catflap it will scratch at the french windows for hours trying to get back in. Next doors cats seem to like attacking my cats on my land, and I always chase them off when I see them. Problem cat will frequently crap and wee on the floor in the house. Today it wouldn't go outside as it was cold and would not let me catch it, and ended up weeing in the house.
I don't want to have a cat litter box, I want the cat to go outside. If we have a litter tray I am the one who will have to sort it out, my wife won't touch it. I have started to feed them outside to encourage them out, but the cat will just come straight back inside if I don't lock the catflap.
I have a large shed, and can put them out there but my wife says that there is no point in having cats if they don't come in the house. The fact that next doors cats are attacking one of mine might be the last straw and I might think about rehoming as this one cat just can't seem to deal with things.
Any comments much appreciated.
Anyway one of my cats is perfect, apart from constantly nagging me for food it is no problem at all and handles itself against the other cats. The other cat is more homely and will not go outside if it can avoid it, if I lock it outside the catflap it will scratch at the french windows for hours trying to get back in. Next doors cats seem to like attacking my cats on my land, and I always chase them off when I see them. Problem cat will frequently crap and wee on the floor in the house. Today it wouldn't go outside as it was cold and would not let me catch it, and ended up weeing in the house.
I don't want to have a cat litter box, I want the cat to go outside. If we have a litter tray I am the one who will have to sort it out, my wife won't touch it. I have started to feed them outside to encourage them out, but the cat will just come straight back inside if I don't lock the catflap.
I have a large shed, and can put them out there but my wife says that there is no point in having cats if they don't come in the house. The fact that next doors cats are attacking one of mine might be the last straw and I might think about rehoming as this one cat just can't seem to deal with things.
Any comments much appreciated.
I appreciate you've come on here for advice but I feel so so sorry for your cat.
She must be so unbelievably stressed right now
She sounds terrified so much so that she can't even face toileting outside and against all her best instincts has now been forced to wee and poo in the house. Get her a litter tray and tell your wife (unless she is pregnant) to deal with it.
To be honest this may not stop the problem completely but it should help.
Look at the Feline advisory bureau website for advice and act upon advice given(such as using Feliway, Zylkene and Kalmaid.
I should advise a medical ck up aswell to ensure she doesn't have eg cystitis.
Basically you can do lots that should help her but you will need to do some reading up and provide facilities etc to help her.
She must be so unbelievably stressed right now
She sounds terrified so much so that she can't even face toileting outside and against all her best instincts has now been forced to wee and poo in the house. Get her a litter tray and tell your wife (unless she is pregnant) to deal with it.
To be honest this may not stop the problem completely but it should help.
Look at the Feline advisory bureau website for advice and act upon advice given(such as using Feliway, Zylkene and Kalmaid.
I should advise a medical ck up aswell to ensure she doesn't have eg cystitis.
Basically you can do lots that should help her but you will need to do some reading up and provide facilities etc to help her.
Edited by bexVN on Wednesday 12th December 22:04
bexVN said:
I appreciate you've come on here for advice but I feel so so sorry for your cat.
She must be so unbelievably stressed right now
She sounds terrified so much so that she can't even face toileting outside and against all her best instincts has now been forced to wee and poo in the house. Get her a litter tray and tell your wife (unless she is pregnant) to deal with it.
To be honest this may not stop the problem completely but it should help.
Look at the Feline advisory bureau website for advice and act upon advice given(such as using Feliway, Zylkene and Kalmaid.
I should advise a medical ck up aswell to ensure she doesn't have eg cystitis.
Basically you can do lots that should help her but you will need to do some reading up and provide facilities etc to help her.
Thanks Bex, I will do some more research.She must be so unbelievably stressed right now
She sounds terrified so much so that she can't even face toileting outside and against all her best instincts has now been forced to wee and poo in the house. Get her a litter tray and tell your wife (unless she is pregnant) to deal with it.
To be honest this may not stop the problem completely but it should help.
Look at the Feline advisory bureau website for advice and act upon advice given(such as using Feliway, Zylkene and Kalmaid.
I should advise a medical ck up aswell to ensure she doesn't have eg cystitis.
Basically you can do lots that should help her but you will need to do some reading up and provide facilities etc to help her.
Edited by bexVN on Wednesday 12th December 22:04
You might not want to have an indoor litter tray, but it's got to be better cleaning a litter tray than having a stressed cat toileting in the house.
Our female cat isn't overly keen on being outside but will usually ask to go into the conservatory & use the litter tray there. She's not keen on toiletting outside - must be a girl thing, her brother just demands to go outside.
If desperate & unable to go out - or overnight as they both come in - then both will use the covered tray by the back door.
Plastic sheet - we use a folded bin liner - in the bottom of the litter tray, a newspaper with its edges taped together with masking tape on top of that & a good quality clumping cat litter on top of the lot does mean that we don't need to change the lot on a daily basis, just scoop the clumps & the faeces. As they are mainly fed on dry food (Royal Canin Light) with the occasional wet pouch as a treat the faeces are bone dry & odourless so a couple of minutes daily with a scoop does the job. Full change usually once a week & usually entails lifting the plastic sheet with everything so its not a major job.
Our female cat isn't overly keen on being outside but will usually ask to go into the conservatory & use the litter tray there. She's not keen on toiletting outside - must be a girl thing, her brother just demands to go outside.
If desperate & unable to go out - or overnight as they both come in - then both will use the covered tray by the back door.
Plastic sheet - we use a folded bin liner - in the bottom of the litter tray, a newspaper with its edges taped together with masking tape on top of that & a good quality clumping cat litter on top of the lot does mean that we don't need to change the lot on a daily basis, just scoop the clumps & the faeces. As they are mainly fed on dry food (Royal Canin Light) with the occasional wet pouch as a treat the faeces are bone dry & odourless so a couple of minutes daily with a scoop does the job. Full change usually once a week & usually entails lifting the plastic sheet with everything so its not a major job.
Edited by paintman on Wednesday 12th December 22:50
Litter trays are a last resort for me too but in this case I think you must. Put yourself in her shoes, I mean paws. You're terrified of going somewhere so this big geezer keeps forcing you to go there. The cat will just get more and more freaked I think. If anyone's at the end of their tether, it's the cat.
Get a litter tray, at least then you can control where the cat is pooping. And tell your wife to deal with it, having cats isn't all fun and games. I use a special low-dust, deodorising litter because I have a Sphynx cat, which can have sensitive respiratory tracts and get irritated by normal litters. It isn't cheap but its amazing stuff, it looks more like sand than cat litter but ita very effective. Surely preferable to the cat just pooping wherever?
"I lock it outside the catflap it will scratch at the french windows for hours trying to get back in."
Sorry, but you shouldn't have cats if you treat them like this. No wonder the poor thing is crapping in the house.
Please call your local Cats Protection branch and ask them to rehome.
Sorry, but you shouldn't have cats if you treat them like this. No wonder the poor thing is crapping in the house.
Please call your local Cats Protection branch and ask them to rehome.
Sorry OP but why have cats if you aren't going to meet their needs? Can't believe you're seriously contemplating rehoming her rather than putting a poxy litter tray in place for her. Man up! Her fears and stress levels are more important than your dislike of cleaning a litter tray. It's a 60 second job to keep your pet happy and your house clean.
She is clearly one stressed cat so I'd also recommend a feliway diffuser, and possibly Zylkene too if she is displaying other stress related behaviours.
She is clearly one stressed cat so I'd also recommend a feliway diffuser, and possibly Zylkene too if she is displaying other stress related behaviours.
Don't suppose it's worth telling the girl that her cat may have need on the bed because something scared it outside so had no choice but to pee indoors or it may be due to a medical reason.
Cats are so misunderstood. Many of us cause our cats a lot of stress without realisingand then get cross with them when they can no longer cope with the stress.
Even the most well meaning make mistakes, I know I have in the past and I feel bad but I also worked on solutions not just kicked my cats out!
Cats are so misunderstood. Many of us cause our cats a lot of stress without realisingand then get cross with them when they can no longer cope with the stress.
Even the most well meaning make mistakes, I know I have in the past and I feel bad but I also worked on solutions not just kicked my cats out!
MercScot said:
"I lock it outside the catflap it will scratch at the french windows for hours trying to get back in."
Sorry, but you shouldn't have cats if you treat them like this. No wonder the poor thing is crapping in the house.
Please call your local Cats Protection branch and ask them to rehome.
This! ^^^^Sorry, but you shouldn't have cats if you treat them like this. No wonder the poor thing is crapping in the house.
Please call your local Cats Protection branch and ask them to rehome.
THEY ARE NOT f
kING TOYS!!! THEY ARE DEPENDANTS!!!Cats all have individual preferences and all have individual needs. You can try to mould them to what suits you but they are extremely sensitive and yours sound like they are having their personality needs neglected. Seriously not impressed fella. Get involved with understanding them and providing completely to their individual needs or hand them back to folk with a bit of empathy.
Edited by Ali2202 on Thursday 13th December 14:03
I have a similar issue with my two at the moment. They are brother and sister about ten years old. Always have had the place to themselves wherever I have lived and always went outside no problems. Had litter tray anyway just in case in the old house but they never used it so didnt bother here.
About a year ago we got new neighbours and they also have two cats. Since then our female no longer wants to go out. Actually I think she does want to as she will occasionally mostly if I am around. We started getting poo on the front door mat and also had all sorts of troubles with a stray coming in the flap and peeing in the house/ chasing female. It was a nightmare.
The solution so far has been one of those chip reading cat flaps so that's the stray sorted and a litter tray. It is horrid though after ten years of not needing one. Wish we could go back to that but the cats gotta come first.
I have been mulling over these kits you can get to try and train them/ her to go in the actual toilet but no idea if this is really possible. Anyone have any experience?
About a year ago we got new neighbours and they also have two cats. Since then our female no longer wants to go out. Actually I think she does want to as she will occasionally mostly if I am around. We started getting poo on the front door mat and also had all sorts of troubles with a stray coming in the flap and peeing in the house/ chasing female. It was a nightmare.
The solution so far has been one of those chip reading cat flaps so that's the stray sorted and a litter tray. It is horrid though after ten years of not needing one. Wish we could go back to that but the cats gotta come first.
I have been mulling over these kits you can get to try and train them/ her to go in the actual toilet but no idea if this is really possible. Anyone have any experience?
Simpo Two said:
Litter trays are a last resort for me too but in this case I think you must. Put yourself in her shoes, I mean paws. You're terrified of going somewhere so this big geezer keeps forcing you to go there. The cat will just get more and more freaked I think. If anyone's at the end of their tether, it's the cat.
Yep. Cat is clearly a nervous sort which isn't unusual for cats. She get's beaten up outside and then thrown out by you when she won't go outside. Cats need somewhere they feel safe.
Get a litter tray and accept that you took this cat on for better or worse. If she's good at burying her crap and you use a decent clumping litter(sainsbury's clumping litter is indentical to the pricier brands) the smell will be reduced massively.
As the others have said, get a her a litter tray.
Only, you will need 3. One for each cat & a spare.
Get covered ones, they generally feel safer in them. We use Cat-San & scoop them every day = no smells!
Give her a chance, she is being bullied She's your girl, she needs some protection & understanding, not kicking out!
Only, you will need 3. One for each cat & a spare.
Get covered ones, they generally feel safer in them. We use Cat-San & scoop them every day = no smells!
Give her a chance, she is being bullied
She's your girl, she needs some protection & understanding, not kicking out!lost in espace said:
We adopted 2 sisters 3 years ago, who are now about 8 years, rehomed through a local cat charity from some people who were apparently moving to Australia. We live in the country side and have a magnetic cat flap. There are 2 cats a couple of doors away, which live outside and are often hungry.
Anyway one of my cats is perfect, apart from constantly nagging me for food it is no problem at all and handles itself against the other cats. The other cat is more homely and will not go outside if it can avoid it, if I lock it outside the catflap it will scratch at the french windows for hours trying to get back in. Next doors cats seem to like attacking my cats on my land, and I always chase them off when I see them. Problem cat will frequently crap and wee on the floor in the house. Today it wouldn't go outside as it was cold and would not let me catch it, and ended up weeing in the house.
I don't want to have a cat litter box, I want the cat to go outside. If we have a litter tray I am the one who will have to sort it out, my wife won't touch it. I have started to feed them outside to encourage them out, but the cat will just come straight back inside if I don't lock the catflap.
I have a large shed, and can put them out there but my wife says that there is no point in having cats if they don't come in the house. The fact that next doors cats are attacking one of mine might be the last straw and I might think about rehoming as this one cat just can't seem to deal with things.
Any comments much appreciated.
You mention the cause of the problems you are having with the indoor cat - no cat tray = so it has nowhere else to go but the floor as it doesn´t want to go outside. You can´t and shouldn´t force the cat to go outside. That is likely to cause even more trouble. To be honest, since neither one of you want to empty a cat tray - rehome the cat. It is probably afraid of the other cats - another reason for not wanting to go outside. That is one heck of a stressed cat - rehome it and preferably to a home with no other cats and where it can stay indoor.Anyway one of my cats is perfect, apart from constantly nagging me for food it is no problem at all and handles itself against the other cats. The other cat is more homely and will not go outside if it can avoid it, if I lock it outside the catflap it will scratch at the french windows for hours trying to get back in. Next doors cats seem to like attacking my cats on my land, and I always chase them off when I see them. Problem cat will frequently crap and wee on the floor in the house. Today it wouldn't go outside as it was cold and would not let me catch it, and ended up weeing in the house.
I don't want to have a cat litter box, I want the cat to go outside. If we have a litter tray I am the one who will have to sort it out, my wife won't touch it. I have started to feed them outside to encourage them out, but the cat will just come straight back inside if I don't lock the catflap.
I have a large shed, and can put them out there but my wife says that there is no point in having cats if they don't come in the house. The fact that next doors cats are attacking one of mine might be the last straw and I might think about rehoming as this one cat just can't seem to deal with things.
Any comments much appreciated.
One more thing: leave dry catfood out 24-7. cats manage their food very well themselves and are best off doing so.
bexVN said:
The last paragraph on above post is a bit misleading, not all cats self regulate. I see a lot of overweight cats that are grazers.
The rest of it is spot on though.
On the rare occasion they do overfeed, you have to find out what causes it. It could be the food itself?, boredom?, stress?,are there undiscovered physical issues?. There is something there that cause them to overeat. Stress?, understimulation? has the cat been sterilized?The rest of it is spot on though.
A cat should have access to grass, it causes them to womit and thereby helps them get rid of hairballs and such.
lenats31 said:
bexVN said:
The last paragraph on above post is a bit misleading, not all cats self regulate. I see a lot of overweight cats that are grazers.
The rest of it is spot on though.
On the rare occasion they do overfeed, you have to find out what causes it. It could be the food itself?, boredom?, stress?,are there undiscovered physical issues?. There is something there that cause them to overeat. Stress?, understimulation? has the cat been sterilized?The rest of it is spot on though.
A cat should have access to grass, it causes them to womit and thereby helps them get rid of hairballs and such.
Edited by bexVN on Friday 14th December 12:06
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