What the eff is this?

[MellowshipSlinky]

Just flew onto the patio...

[soad]

A creepy crawly.

[ShampooEfficient]

Theres no sense of scale. Is that actually 6ft long?

[MellowshipSlinky]

ShampooEfficient said:

Theres no sense of scale. Is that actually 6ft long?

Yes, it's about 2/3rds the length of my todger.




In relation to a Ritz cracker -

[soad]

Get it down you, free protein.

[MellowshipSlinky]

Yeah, the cracker has gone.
(Along with most of a large bottle of near frozen Stoli)

[MellowshipSlinky]

Oh, and when it came flying in I batterrd it into submission with my pool cue.
Much to the mirth of my 12 year old lad

[MellowshipSlinky]

MellowshipSlinky said:

Yeah, the cracker has gone.
(Along with most of a large bottle of near frozen Stoli)

(I ate /drank it - not that zonking mutant bluebottle)

[Big Al.]

Looks like a House or field Cricket

https://www.google.co.uk/search?num=30&q=Field...

[MellowshipSlinky]

Big Al. said:

Looks like a House or field Cricket

https://www.google.co.uk/search?num=30&q=Field...

Cheers
Looks about right.
Female.

Probably what I've been hearing all week in the bushes (thought they may have been Cicardas, but I'm in Spain)

[Equus]

MellowshipSlinky said:

... it's about 2/3rds the length of my todger.

They're about 20mm (3/4") long.

Are you Japanese, or just very, very unlucky?

[MellowshipSlinky]

Equus said:

They're about 20mm (3/4") long.

Are you Japanese, or just very, very unlucky?

It was bloody massive!
Waaay bigger than 20mm

Nearly picked me off the ground it did

[Equus]

MellowshipSlinky said:

It was bloody massive!
Waaay bigger than 20mm

Nearly picked me off the ground it did

Hmm... half the diameter of a Ritz cracker? 20mm, sounds about right. Are you an angler as well?

[MellowshipSlinky]

It's a super duper jumbo Spanish Ritz cracker