Is it selfish to take young kids (under 2) on a long flight?
Discussion
Just interested in opinions after a discussion at work, any thoughts?
A colleague of mine is taking his wife and child to Mexico next year as the price difference for 11 nights there all inclusive 5 star, and a half board in Europe is more or less nothing so he's opted for that, and it sparked a bit of a debate.
I was listening with Interest as we are looking to book something for next year and once upon a time I would've been the grumpy one annoyed by a noisy child on a long flight and wondering why the parents have put them through it!
A colleague of mine is taking his wife and child to Mexico next year as the price difference for 11 nights there all inclusive 5 star, and a half board in Europe is more or less nothing so he's opted for that, and it sparked a bit of a debate.
I was listening with Interest as we are looking to book something for next year and once upon a time I would've been the grumpy one annoyed by a noisy child on a long flight and wondering why the parents have put them through it!
Edited by Raymond Reddington on Thursday 12th December 09:47
Selfish how? For the other passengers who have to endure it or for the baby?
Soon to find out as about to take our 18 month old to Japan - he's travelled a bit already and so far has been great on the dozen or so flights he's been on but we've not taken a journey this long yet. I've been on plenty of long distance planes with other peoples kids on board though so feel I've paid my dues!
Accept it'll be tough but we were all kids once and my wife and I will do all we can to keep him entertained. Apologies in advance to anyone who might be sat next to us if it goes south!
Soon to find out as about to take our 18 month old to Japan - he's travelled a bit already and so far has been great on the dozen or so flights he's been on but we've not taken a journey this long yet. I've been on plenty of long distance planes with other peoples kids on board though so feel I've paid my dues!
Accept it'll be tough but we were all kids once and my wife and I will do all we can to keep him entertained. Apologies in advance to anyone who might be sat next to us if it goes south!
Dominican with a 1yr old for a wedding. Dropped a nugget out of her nappy in the aisle on the way out, a swift scoop up avoided it being a scene. Cried like the baby she was for a good half hour while I'm trying to get her off to sleep on a night flight on the way back. I got a few looks off tired passengers but no one was hurt.
Memories to last for a lifetime. Just do it.
Memories to last for a lifetime. Just do it.
We flew to florida when my son was 18 months old.
On the way out he was fine. Didn’t make any noise and was perfectly happy.
On the way back he screamed for most of the flight. I wanted to kill him so no idea what the other passengers felt. They had my sympathy.
It was an amazing holiday though. I was working hard during his early years and every spare moment was spend doing the house up. Couple of weeks with nothing to do except bond with my son was heaven.
On the way out he was fine. Didn’t make any noise and was perfectly happy.
On the way back he screamed for most of the flight. I wanted to kill him so no idea what the other passengers felt. They had my sympathy.
It was an amazing holiday though. I was working hard during his early years and every spare moment was spend doing the house up. Couple of weeks with nothing to do except bond with my son was heaven.
I've taken both of mine on flights of approx 3.5 hours, that was fine. I don't think I'd personally go much further than that with mine, they'd get too antsy. By the time you factor in security, passports, getting to the gate etc, it's a long day.
Depends on the temperament of the kids though, both mine were easily distracted with books/food.
Depends on the temperament of the kids though, both mine were easily distracted with books/food.
Edited by budgie smuggler on Thursday 12th December 10:27
Absolutely not. We took our youngest to Florida when he was 7 months old. He was fine. Cried a couple of times but the woman on the flight couldn't wait to jump in and hold him under the guise of giving us a rest! We also took him to Mexico when he was 3 and he became the center of attention for the flight. People were getting off and calling him by name to wish him a good holiday. People with young kids have worked just as hard to earn the money and enjoy their holidays so they more than deserve to go without feeling shamed on a flight. The only tricky thing for us was he learned to crawl in Florida so he wouldn't sit still on the return flight and wanted to be crawling about.
I travel often and if I'm sat next to a mother and baby/young child, I'm always kind. The mothers are normally extra stressed from travelling with young ones and get anxious as soon as they start to make a noise. I tend to get in quick and tell her not to worry, they're just communicating and it's fine.
I travel often and if I'm sat next to a mother and baby/young child, I'm always kind. The mothers are normally extra stressed from travelling with young ones and get anxious as soon as they start to make a noise. I tend to get in quick and tell her not to worry, they're just communicating and it's fine.
We had one that cried/screamed for about 6 hours on the flight back from Dubai.
I felt a bit sorry for the mum as she was getting such evil looks from the other passengers.
ETA Just to add it IS selfish - "we" know there's a risk that it will annoy other people but we think our needs outweigh the comfort of others. "We" will always think it's justifiable but it's a fact that we're putting ourselves ahead of others.
I felt a bit sorry for the mum as she was getting such evil looks from the other passengers.
ETA Just to add it IS selfish - "we" know there's a risk that it will annoy other people but we think our needs outweigh the comfort of others. "We" will always think it's justifiable but it's a fact that we're putting ourselves ahead of others.
Edited by Countdown on Thursday 12th December 10:29
It's only selfish when you don't prepare for it properly. Take some small toys and a tablet with videos or similar and be prepared to take care of them. It's people who just fail to organise themselves and don't understand why their child is grumpy and upset with nothing to do for 12 hours that are selfish. If possible also arrange their sleep schedule a little before hand and hopefully they'll sleep for quite a bit of the time.
Setting aside the flights, personally I think taking babies and very young children abroad to a hot country is selfish. There's nothing about it they'll enjoy, they'll just be too hot and uncomfortable and they'll have no memory of it when they're older. It's done for the parents not the children, which is fine but let's not pretend otherwise.
We chose not to. YMMV. Our kids didn't fly until 8 & 11 apart from short hops to London.
At that age there is no need to fly across the world for new experiences. They have no concept of foreign travel, and are likely to be more amazed by a trip to the local petting zoo than being stuck in a dark noisy tube full of strangers for hours to sit on a beach not entirely unlike the one at home.
If the parents want to go, leave the children at home for their sake and the sake of other travellers.
Unless there are compelling family reasons, then I'd say no.
At that age there is no need to fly across the world for new experiences. They have no concept of foreign travel, and are likely to be more amazed by a trip to the local petting zoo than being stuck in a dark noisy tube full of strangers for hours to sit on a beach not entirely unlike the one at home.
If the parents want to go, leave the children at home for their sake and the sake of other travellers.
Unless there are compelling family reasons, then I'd say no.
Chris Peacock said:
Setting aside the flights, personally I think taking babies and very young children abroad to a hot country is selfish. There's nothing about it they'll enjoy, they'll just be too hot and uncomfortable and they'll have no memory of it when they're older. It's done for the parents not the children, which is fine but let's not pretend otherwise.
Sometimes the reason might be to visit family who might not live long enough to enjoy their grandchildren. Other times the reason might be to attend the funerals of grandparents they'll grow up without a memory of. We tend to do short haul city breaks with our little one.
With a young child you can't lay on the beach or round the pool for long enough to make it worth it.
Our last trip was a 30 quid flight to Copenhagen and a cheap apartment on airbnb, it was a fantastic week away with lots to do.
With a young child you can't lay on the beach or round the pool for long enough to make it worth it.
Our last trip was a 30 quid flight to Copenhagen and a cheap apartment on airbnb, it was a fantastic week away with lots to do.
Chris Type R said:
Chris Peacock said:
Setting aside the flights, personally I think taking babies and very young children abroad to a hot country is selfish. There's nothing about it they'll enjoy, they'll just be too hot and uncomfortable and they'll have no memory of it when they're older. It's done for the parents not the children, which is fine but let's not pretend otherwise.
Sometimes the reason might be to visit family who might not live long enough to enjoy their grandchildren. Other times the reason might be to attend the funerals of grandparents they'll grow up without a memory of. Countdown said:
Chris Type R said:
Chris Peacock said:
Setting aside the flights, personally I think taking babies and very young children abroad to a hot country is selfish. There's nothing about it they'll enjoy, they'll just be too hot and uncomfortable and they'll have no memory of it when they're older. It's done for the parents not the children, which is fine but let's not pretend otherwise.
Sometimes the reason might be to visit family who might not live long enough to enjoy their grandchildren. Other times the reason might be to attend the funerals of grandparents they'll grow up without a memory of. Took my (3 in January) daughter to Istanbul back in October (approx 3 hours). She was pretty good on the flight.
In June we're taking her to Seattle. This is more like 10 hours. Hopefully it goes well as in December we're going down to Melbourne to visit my brother and his family. Kind of dreading that one - I've done the flight a load myself so know the best places to connect etc, but even with that my experience with a toddler is going to be very different to doing it on my own!
In June we're taking her to Seattle. This is more like 10 hours. Hopefully it goes well as in December we're going down to Melbourne to visit my brother and his family. Kind of dreading that one - I've done the flight a load myself so know the best places to connect etc, but even with that my experience with a toddler is going to be very different to doing it on my own!
Jimjimhim said:
I wouldn't do long haul with very young kids, I don't think it's fair on anyone (yes it's selfish), I would stick to somewhere like Spain.
I think I’d agree. I could face 3 hours but a long haul would be hell. Our twins flew from six months within Europe but they were generally quite chilled out. Didn’t do long haul until maybe 8-10 years old.
Only screwup was when they were about aged two one of them threw up on the plane after airport food, over my wife and straight down between the seats. I was sat across the aisle by myself

Wife departed the plane wearing nothing but knickers and a blanket, while the lady sat behind them spent the last hour of the flight picking carrots out of her handbag. Which was nice.
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