Passport problem again
Discussion
Mother f
king wk st stained bh fking we tt fk twunting gusset gash knob wkers!
and breath...........
You may remember my thread a week ago asking if i can travel to the UK on my driving licence. Well I sent my passport off to Dusseldorf to have it renewed at he UK embassy. I sent it in good time (6 weeks) before i next needed to leave the country (next tues).
This we i began chasing it up as it had gone well over there published turn around time. You ring a 2€ a minute line to register your query to be told that someone will ring you in 48 hours.
Now this next bit is my fault. My mobile rings at my desk where the reception is appalling at best. I answer and cannot hear so i run downstairs and go outside. She hung up. So i walk back to my desk and dial the number from my work phone. I get the UK embassy and am told that they do not accept incoming calls (probably due to phone bombs being sent down the line). They tell me to ring the premium rate number again, i cant as its blocked at work. I am told that she cannot put me though and she hangs up. Ok, not a problem, still calm at this point.
They ring my other half at home and tell her that my passport has not been approved yet because they did not take the payment until the 20th of March. Apparently it will take 3 days. Fine. not a problem, that makes it Friday/Saturday. My other half asks if we can collect it in person on Saturday (10h round trip) to be told.......you will love this, are you ready?...here it comes....
you cannot come and get it as our machines MIGHT break and it will not be done in time
Mother fking wk st stained bh fking we tt fk twunting gusset gash knob wkers!
So, my only option is to repeatedly ring the premium number to find out when its approved and then ask them not to post it so i can collect it hopefully on Monday.
The thing is, there isn't much point driving all the way to Dusseldorf to drive back to Munich to fly to England. I might as well just keep on driving to the UK.
I understand that this was not worth reading or infact not even worth typing but its good to get things off your chest. I am now going to go out and key a Prius.
Lord Pikey trapped in Bavaria
king wk st stained bh fking we tt fk twunting gusset gash knob wkers!and breath...........
You may remember my thread a week ago asking if i can travel to the UK on my driving licence. Well I sent my passport off to Dusseldorf to have it renewed at he UK embassy. I sent it in good time (6 weeks) before i next needed to leave the country (next tues).
This we i began chasing it up as it had gone well over there published turn around time. You ring a 2€ a minute line to register your query to be told that someone will ring you in 48 hours.
Now this next bit is my fault. My mobile rings at my desk where the reception is appalling at best. I answer and cannot hear so i run downstairs and go outside. She hung up. So i walk back to my desk and dial the number from my work phone. I get the UK embassy and am told that they do not accept incoming calls (probably due to phone bombs being sent down the line). They tell me to ring the premium rate number again, i cant as its blocked at work. I am told that she cannot put me though and she hangs up. Ok, not a problem, still calm at this point.
They ring my other half at home and tell her that my passport has not been approved yet because they did not take the payment until the 20th of March. Apparently it will take 3 days. Fine. not a problem, that makes it Friday/Saturday. My other half asks if we can collect it in person on Saturday (10h round trip) to be told.......you will love this, are you ready?...here it comes....
you cannot come and get it as our machines MIGHT break and it will not be done in time
Mother f
king wk st stained bh fking we tt fk twunting gusset gash knob wkers!So, my only option is to repeatedly ring the premium number to find out when its approved and then ask them not to post it so i can collect it hopefully on Monday.
The thing is, there isn't much point driving all the way to Dusseldorf to drive back to Munich to fly to England. I might as well just keep on driving to the UK.
I understand that this was not worth reading or infact not even worth typing but its good to get things off your chest. I am now going to go out and key a Prius.
Lord Pikey trapped in Bavaria
Edited by Lord Pikey on Wednesday 1st April 14:06
Awful, bit like my experience at the embassy here in Oslo.
I had to wait 4 whole days, then they rang me and asked if I wanted to pop over or should they post it ?
I feel your pain.
I can't understand how people think a driving licence is a form of proving your nationality. I can get a Norwegian licence, doesn't mean I'm a viking.
You can enter the UK with a 'Certificate of entitlement to the right of abode in the United Kingdom issued by or on behalf of the Government of the United Kingdom'
Have a wade through this : http://www.opsi.gov.uk/si/si2006/20063145.htm
Can they do that quicker ?
I had to wait 4 whole days, then they rang me and asked if I wanted to pop over or should they post it ?
I feel your pain.
I can't understand how people think a driving licence is a form of proving your nationality. I can get a Norwegian licence, doesn't mean I'm a viking.
You can enter the UK with a 'Certificate of entitlement to the right of abode in the United Kingdom issued by or on behalf of the Government of the United Kingdom'
Have a wade through this : http://www.opsi.gov.uk/si/si2006/20063145.htm
Can they do that quicker ?
Good news, It seems the Mother fking wk st stained bh fking we tt fk twunting gusset gash knob wker bh has had a change of heart.
Just got home to an email on my other halfs laptop.
Dear Lord Pikeys sperm dumpster
Thank you for your email.
I have spoken to my boss right now.
As the todays post is already gone anyway, we gonna try and issue Lord Pikeys passport today and sent it off tomorrow. If the passport wont be ready by tomorrow i will send his current one back to you.
Stroppy bh from the Embassy
I guess i know owe my other half some thanks becasue what ever she has said seems to of worked. All should now be well and i can enjoy my evening in the sunshine. Thankyou for listening and i wish all of PH a pleasent evening.
Lord Pikey no longer trapped in Bavaria for Easter
king wk st stained bh fking we tt fk twunting gusset gash knob wker bh has had a change of heart.Just got home to an email on my other halfs laptop.
Dear Lord Pikeys sperm dumpster
Thank you for your email.
I have spoken to my boss right now.
As the todays post is already gone anyway, we gonna try and issue Lord Pikeys passport today and sent it off tomorrow. If the passport wont be ready by tomorrow i will send his current one back to you.
Stroppy b
h from the EmbassyI guess i know owe my other half some thanks becasue what ever she has said seems to of worked. All should now be well and i can enjoy my evening in the sunshine. Thankyou for listening and i wish all of PH a pleasent evening.
Lord Pikey no longer trapped in Bavaria for Easter
I had a passport fandango when I renewed mine a couple of years ago.
The only way I managed to get around it was to actually go to the passport office in London with about 400 passport photos, birth certificates for all blood relatives, cash in various currencies, credit cards, travellers cheques, a freemason's hat and a copy of the Bible and go through every question on their stupid form word for word with the obese Swahili speaking matron who checks that you're British enough, get their security man Ahmed someone to confirm it, and then finally pick up my new passport same day, before they can lose it.
It costs a bit more, but it only turns you into a homicidal maniac for one day rather than 6 weeks and counting, or nearly 3 months in the case of my brother.
I don't suppose that's possible if you are already outside the UK.
Have you thought of applying for German citizenship as it's probably quicker and easier?
Failing that, the most popular method is a long walk through the Channel Tunnel.
The only way I managed to get around it was to actually go to the passport office in London with about 400 passport photos, birth certificates for all blood relatives, cash in various currencies, credit cards, travellers cheques, a freemason's hat and a copy of the Bible and go through every question on their stupid form word for word with the obese Swahili speaking matron who checks that you're British enough, get their security man Ahmed someone to confirm it, and then finally pick up my new passport same day, before they can lose it.
It costs a bit more, but it only turns you into a homicidal maniac for one day rather than 6 weeks and counting, or nearly 3 months in the case of my brother.
I don't suppose that's possible if you are already outside the UK.
Have you thought of applying for German citizenship as it's probably quicker and easier?
Failing that, the most popular method is a long walk through the Channel Tunnel.
Lord Pikey said:
I did think about the German Citizen thing, but the guys at work said my Goose-step isnt quite upto standard yet. 
I might get a german driving licence though, because i find it hard to remmeber we have silly speed limits in the uk when i get back. Lets see them put points on that !
supposedly as of today they are able to fine you as a foreign driver, but that requires coppers to stop you.I might get a german driving licence though, because i find it hard to remmeber we have silly speed limits in the uk when i get back. Lets see them put points on that !
I got my first passport only a few years ago. First of all the silly cow at the post office kept demanding my naturalisation certificate.
"What naturalisation certificate? I'm British!" I exclaimed.
Then they didn't like the look of my birth certificate.
"Well don't blame me, I was only very little when I was given it." - which they eventually accepted after looking at it a while and saying "oh, it's an old one."
"Of course it's an old one. You can see right there when it was written - It says my bloody date of birth on it. 1972!"
We pay these people our hard earned taxes.
"What naturalisation certificate? I'm British!" I exclaimed.
Then they didn't like the look of my birth certificate.
"Well don't blame me, I was only very little when I was given it." - which they eventually accepted after looking at it a while and saying "oh, it's an old one."
"Of course it's an old one. You can see right there when it was written - It says my bloody date of birth on it. 1972!"
We pay these people our hard earned taxes.
londonbabe said:
I got my first passport only a few years ago. First of all the silly cow at the post office kept demanding my naturalisation certificate.
"What naturalisation certificate? I'm British!" I exclaimed.
Then they didn't like the look of my birth certificate.
"Well don't blame me, I was only very little when I was given it." - which they eventually accepted after looking at it a while and saying "oh, it's an old one."
"Of course it's an old one. You can see right there when it was written - It says my bloody date of birth on it. 1972!"
We pay these people our hard earned taxes.
Haha, I love bureaucrat think. "Why can't everyone just get a nice new modern birth certificate""What naturalisation certificate? I'm British!" I exclaimed.
Then they didn't like the look of my birth certificate.
"Well don't blame me, I was only very little when I was given it." - which they eventually accepted after looking at it a while and saying "oh, it's an old one."
"Of course it's an old one. You can see right there when it was written - It says my bloody date of birth on it. 1972!"
We pay these people our hard earned taxes.
Asterix said:
...and on a brighter note - I had a new passport issued last year at the consulate in Dubai and it went without a hitch.
Chin up, eh...
I have six passports. Chin up, eh...
Three were issued in Singapore, over the years I've worked in that neck of the woods, three in the UK.
Only two are current though, and one of them is nearly full, hence I have to visit Liverpool in the very near future for their four hour instant new passport.
Apparently it is illegal to leave the country while you have a passport application in, plus they need to have ALL current passports in their possession while you are applying for the new one.
Sounds like it'll be a great day out........
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