Olympic jokes please

[hollydog]

Its been a bit slow i haven't heard any yet.

[Steve Zodiac]

Shami Chakrabati

[Mermaid]

Steve Zodiac said:

Shami Chakrabati

She should not have accepted - not fair/equitable on the people of Great Britain.

[Cock Womble 7]

hollydog said:

Its been a bit slow i haven't heard any yet.

There's a few in the Sean Connery Joke thread, of all places.

[Du1point8]

A muslim was shot in London last night with a starting pistol.

Police believe it might be race related!!

(IBTL as there is a jokes thread already)

[NiceCupOfTea]

Pinched from another thread:

[steve2]

The Queen should have lit the flame as she is Corgi Registered (and yes i know it is gas safe now)

[steve2]

Or Prince Andrew could have lit it as he has quite a few old flames

[richcorsavxr]

How disappointing that the Congo weren't in single file in the Olympic Opening Ceremony

[retrobob]

Borrowed >

[Hoofy]

In response to a thread on this: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/terrorism-i...

I posted this:

Hoofy said:

I heard they wanted to fill a canoe with petrol, ram the canoe racers and ignite the petrol... just to prove you can have your kayak and heat it.

[Mr E]

NiceCupOfTea said:

Pinched from another thread:

Yup, that's pretty much spot on

[retrobob]

NiceCupOfTea said:

Pinched from another thread:

A variation >

[daveake]

The N Korea/S Korea debacle wasn't a great start to the Olympics.

But they got the Swiss flag right, which is a big plus.

[Mr MXT]

The NHS part was supposed to be a lot bigger but they had a shortage of beds.

(@TheArchini)

[Papa Hotel]

DAVEVO9 said:

drivel

You're a cock.

[retrobob]

Mr MXT said:

The NHS part was supposed to be a lot bigger but they had a shortage of beds.

(@TheArchini)

[retrobob]

Her Majesty arrives >

large file SFW >

[TonyRPH]

Which surely means that their announcements should be second, if they needed more thinking time...?

[Papa Hotel]

TonyRPH said:

Which surely means that their announcements should be second, if they needed more thinking time...?

Think. Just a little.