Discussion
If the house is worth $80k and the mortgage is worth $80k, the net asset is zero ,and you could offer to simply assume the entire mortgage without cash changing hands and take over title to the house I would think.
I am not qualified to advise you on the relationship except to say that a week or two weeks will make little difference without anyone actually discussing the issue openly.
I am not qualified to advise you on the relationship except to say that a week or two weeks will make little difference without anyone actually discussing the issue openly.
Or help her get treatment for her depression, at which point the relationship will improve again and sexytime will return when she's back on an even keel.
If you love someone, you don't bail at the first sign that all is not sunshine and roses forever. Such times are when couples who love one another should pull together, not apart. when one of them can't do it, the other needs to make that extra effort and be the strong one for them.
Read the book featured in this review as a starting point. It'll take no more than 10 minutes, but should provide some helpful insight to you both about what she's feeling. It was the follow up to his story of conquering and successfully managing depression, titled I Had a Black Dog.
If you love someone, you don't bail at the first sign that all is not sunshine and roses forever. Such times are when couples who love one another should pull together, not apart. when one of them can't do it, the other needs to make that extra effort and be the strong one for them.
Read the book featured in this review as a starting point. It'll take no more than 10 minutes, but should provide some helpful insight to you both about what she's feeling. It was the follow up to his story of conquering and successfully managing depression, titled I Had a Black Dog.
Give her two choices - either she moves out and you take over the mortgage, or you do. If she isn't really keen on the house anyway she'll let you have it. She won't have a choice as if she only has a part time job she presumably won't be able to afford it on her own anyway. If its worth 80 and you owe 80 on it then there shouldn't be cash going in either direction.
Maybe that comes across as a bit heartless, okay it definitely does... but I'm going on the assumption if you're already posting on the internet about being fed up with her then the relationship is beyond saving.
Maybe that comes across as a bit heartless, okay it definitely does... but I'm going on the assumption if you're already posting on the internet about being fed up with her then the relationship is beyond saving.
rossmc88 said:
My partner has had a really hard time at work recently and is depressed with it all. I got frustrated by her not being able to resolve it and snapped at her saying to get a grip and get it sorted. Ever since she has been distant with me and won't talk to me about it anymore, she is just suffering alone.
I feel like our relationship is broken now and don't know what to do. I love her, and she loves me, but I'm fed up with her being depressed all the time, while I knock my pan in working full time and sorting the house.
You could try apologising, and asking her if she's prepared to talk about it as you want to help her.I feel like our relationship is broken now and don't know what to do. I love her, and she loves me, but I'm fed up with her being depressed all the time, while I knock my pan in working full time and sorting the house.
Unless of course you don't, and you're just looking for excuses / exit paths.
rossmc88 said:
Part of me wants to look after her and another part feels like she needs to get a grip and stand on her own 2 feet in life
Well, you have to decide if you care enough about her to try and help her through her depression or whether you'd rather feck off and leave her to it.Being interested in property myself I fail to see how you wouldn't have known the house needed all the work doing to it before you bought it?
IMO it's pretty obvious just by viewing and reading the survey report, also as you say that you have done all of the work yourself, is it to regulation standards? If not it could potentially cost a fair few quid if and when you eventually want / need to sell it.
No help on the relationship side sorry because I'm a bloke.
IMO it's pretty obvious just by viewing and reading the survey report, also as you say that you have done all of the work yourself, is it to regulation standards? If not it could potentially cost a fair few quid if and when you eventually want / need to sell it.
No help on the relationship side sorry because I'm a bloke.
Zwolf said:
Or help her get treatment for her depression, at which point the relationship will improve again and sexytime will return when she's back on an even keel.
If you love someone, you don't bail at the first sign that all is not sunshine and roses forever. Such times are when couples who love one another should pull together, not apart. when one of them can't do it, the other needs to make that extra effort and be the strong one for them.
Read the book featured in this review as a starting point. It'll take no more than 10 minutes, but should provide some helpful insight to you both about what she's feeling. It was the follow up to his story of conquering and successfully managing depression, titled I Had a Black Dog.
wot Z said.If you love someone, you don't bail at the first sign that all is not sunshine and roses forever. Such times are when couples who love one another should pull together, not apart. when one of them can't do it, the other needs to make that extra effort and be the strong one for them.
Read the book featured in this review as a starting point. It'll take no more than 10 minutes, but should provide some helpful insight to you both about what she's feeling. It was the follow up to his story of conquering and successfully managing depression, titled I Had a Black Dog.
Jasandjules said:
Well, you have to decide if you care enough about her to try and help her through her depression or whether you'd rather feck off and leave her to it.
This.Sounds like your wrapped up in the house and your own work, if that's what you wan then fine but be clear with your lass. If you genuinely want to be with the girl make an effort, cook her a meal or something and spend some time talking to her and try to help her with her problems at work...even if you can't help I am sure listening and being supportive is going to mean a lot to her.
rossmc88 said:
My partner has had a really hard time at work recently and is depressed with it all. I got frustrated by her not being able to resolve it and snapped at her saying to get a grip and get it sorted. Ever since she has been distant with me and won't talk to me about it anymore, she is just suffering alone.
A picture from the book Zwolf mentioned....
If you want to help her, you have to support her. Make her feel strong enough to seek help (and there is a lot of help out there for depression, if she's prepared to look for it).
But she needs your support, she can't be told to 'snap out of it', it's an illness, same as chicken pox or flu - you wouldn't tell someone with chicken pox to 'snap out of it' and you can't do it with depression either. It's a hard thing, being the supportive person in this kind of relationship, I've been there. It takes a lot of patience and caring, but 99% of the time it's possible to turn things around.
This is a good book, and well worth a read:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Relate-Guide-Staying-Toget...
It sounds like you could solve your difficulties together if you both want to. Relate or a similar organisation can help.
Alternatively you are still relatively young, this is not the relationship for you, and you should both move on.
I suspect you know in your heart which of these two options you really want to take.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Relate-Guide-Staying-Toget...
It sounds like you could solve your difficulties together if you both want to. Relate or a similar organisation can help.
Alternatively you are still relatively young, this is not the relationship for you, and you should both move on.
I suspect you know in your heart which of these two options you really want to take.
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