Frozen sausages in the lawn

[stuttgartmetal]

Im fick, me.
Whats the story here?

[gog440]

Someone suggested it as a revenge for an annoying neighbour, it seems to have become a PH meme

[Mighty Flex]

http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...

[The Nur]

Has anybody actually tried it to see if it works as intended?

[IanMorewood]

It's how you get more sausages, plant some in the garden, harvest in about six weeks.

[slippery]

The Nur said:

Has anybody actually tried it to see if it works as intended?

If my neighbour keeps leaving his wheelie bin so far out in our single track road, that I keep having to move it out of the way to drive past, I might try it!
Either that or pour a couple of pints of maggots into his Micra convertible next time I see it on his drive with the roof down.

[CB2152]

I would have thought that when hit with a hammer, the sausages will either snap due to being so brittle, or squish if they're slightly thawed. I might have to test the structural rigidity of a frozen sausage.

Unless you made a hole in the lawn first in which to hammer the sausage?

[Silent1]

CB2152 said:

I would have thought that when hit with a hammer, the sausages will either snap due to being so brittle, or squish if they're slightly thawed. I might have to test the structural rigidity of a frozen sausage.

Unless you made a hole in the lawn first in which to hammer the sausage?

That's what your cock is for, after all it's only the natural extension from vbrj, vglsh

[CB2152]

[SeldomSeenKid]

I've said it for a while, but genuinely one of the funniest, most unexpected things I've read on here. Brilliant thread!

[Digger]

SeldomSeenKid said:

I've said it for a while, but genuinely one of the funniest, most unexpected things I've read on here. Brilliant thread!

ummm. . . but several times a day, every single day, for more than 6 months now? . . .

Tiresome! Sorry

[Willy Nilly]

IanMorewood said:

It's how you get more sausages, plant some in the garden, harvest in about six weeks.

The problem is harvesting in this wet whether. The skins are very delicate so you have to be careful with agitation, too much and the just keep rolling down the web damaging the skins and too little and the cleaning system can't cope with the dirt. You have to get it spot on or Walls just reject them.

[Hoofy]

Willy Nilly said:

IanMorewood said:

It's how you get more sausages, plant some in the garden, harvest in about six weeks.

The problem is harvesting in this wet whether. The skins are very delicate so you have to be careful with agitation, too much and the just keep rolling down the web damaging the skins and too little and the cleaning system can't cope with the dirt. You have to get it spot on or Walls just reject them.

I recommend hammering them in at a good angle, around 30 degrees to horizontal. This stops them sinking further into the wet ground so the baby sausages won't have to fight to reach the surface.

[Fishtigua]

Is it the done thing to water them from over your garden fence late at night? Is fertilising them with a homemade slurry a good thing to do?

[anonymous-user]

I am genuinely tempted to try this - in-so-far as it seems like a hilarious but somewhat tenuous that this would actually work. (Edited to say that this isn't talking about the growing discussion above, it is more related to the animals ripping up the lawn and rotting meat).

My front law isn't really a lawn and the plan next year is to dig it up and continue the current gravel drive over the small triangle of grass that is there.

I am seriously tempted to hammer sausages into my own lawn to see what happens. Is now the right time to plant though? Would spring be better?

I am prepared to document it (although I think that actually nothing will happen) for your amusement!

Lewis

Edited by anonymous-user on Sunday 13th October 11:07

[CB2152]

I think now is a good time. A soft lawn (presuming it's wet where you are) only makes it easier. Documentation will of course be required.

[Hoofy]

You won't even need a hammer with this weather.

[glenrobbo]

I've found a largish rubber mallet is best, and you'll need a kneeling pad in this damp weather. And wear a sou-wester to keep your balaclava dry.
Ideal conditions at the mo.


ETA. You will need a minimum of 23 frozen sausages to spell out the word TT

HTH.

Edited by glenrobbo on Sunday 13th October 11:49

[Hoofy]

I could just push my hard sausage in with my hand, it's that moist. Is it just me who suddenly aroused?

[fathomfive]

glenrobbo said:

I've found a largish rubber mallet is best, and you'll need a kneeling pad in this damp weather. And wear a sou-wester to keep your balaclava dry.
Ideal conditions at the mo.

Strange, I always thought Timmy Mallet was greatest sausage pusher-inner.