Should I propose to my Ex who I truly love?
Discussion
Long story, but basically 2.5 months ago my girlfriend of 5 years, just left me, took her stuff and moved to her mums. It was a total shock and I was too stupid to ever notice any of the signs something was wrong, even if I did spot ssomething wrong I wouldn't say anything , just plain ignore them just to save an argument.
Her reason for leaving was that she was no longer in love with me, hadn't been for a couple of months.
I am still completely torn apart over this, it is and has been continually on my mind the entire time, it's absolutely torturing me, I can't sleep at night, I'm not eating like I used to be able to and I struggle getting out of bed in the mornings, so much so that I am often late for work now when I was always on time.
I really loved her more than anything and I still do, however I know I never showed her this as much as I should have, never told her much and very rarely bought her gifts or spent as much time with her as I should, I know she's the type of girl who needs to feel loved and I just never bothered showing her much, but I am so annoyed at myself because I do love her more than anything else. We definetly started drifting apart too, she'd go off for the day with her mum and I'd spend a lot of time with my family, but this was never on purpose as such , I'd often be back late and she would hate being stuck in the house alone not knowing when I'd be back, guess I was just selfish to an extent but I never really meant it honestly.
In the summer she came off the pill and I was hesitant at first, I even pulled out during a very intimate moment once and this upset her greatly, made her feel like she was forcing me into it , I don't even know why I did it to be honest. However after a month or so, I was ok with the idea, but again suppose I never really said to her how I was looking forward to it. Then she had a huge promotion at work and she wanted to be safe for a while until she was guaranteed a job before having a child, so I definetly paid her less attention purely because I didn't want to ruin her chances by getting her pregnant, but she seems to think that I did not want children with her and this is why I stopped even when she was at times trying to spice things up between us by buying sexy underwear etc.
Around a week or 2 after we broken up she was already seeing someone else, they are still in a relationship now, however she said they are taking things slow. This hurts me a lot and her family can't believe how fast she moved on from a serious relationship. She told me it's over and there is basically no chance of trying again , and she stated if we did get back together I'd be thinking of her having been intimate with this guy in the back of my mind all the time , which I guess I would but at the end of the day worse things than this happen all the time in relationships and it can be forgiven eventually as she stated she absolutely didn't cheat on me just moved on very fast.
So although she says to me that I will find somebody else and she's with someone now and we need to move forward, she also stated that when my friend recently told her about my last gf that it did wind her up a little thinking of me with someone else, she'd be imagining if she was prettier or slimmer etc etc, so it seems deep in the back of her mind there must still be something there.
I really regret not having proposed a year or 2 ago, she's the most amazing woman I've ever met, I feel we are truly soulmates and she always told me how she'd love to marry me and how I know she'd definitely say yes. Around 2-3 weeks before she left me I'd been shopping for engagement rings with the view to taking her to Italy in spring and proposing , however it crushes me inside to know I've been that close to having secured it and I've totally ruined my chances now. I was just wondering whether I should really buy an engagement ring and just ask to see her and see what she says when i get down on one knee, I'm truly truly sorry for having been so stupid to have let her go and for every time I let her down, I never meant it once.
I'd assume she'd more than likely say no as like she says it's gone way too far now and her minds made up and on top of that she's been seeing someone else for over 2 months. But I can't lose this girl, I simply can't go on carrying this burden for the rest of my life having lost who I feel is truly 'the one'.
Her reason for leaving was that she was no longer in love with me, hadn't been for a couple of months.
I am still completely torn apart over this, it is and has been continually on my mind the entire time, it's absolutely torturing me, I can't sleep at night, I'm not eating like I used to be able to and I struggle getting out of bed in the mornings, so much so that I am often late for work now when I was always on time.
I really loved her more than anything and I still do, however I know I never showed her this as much as I should have, never told her much and very rarely bought her gifts or spent as much time with her as I should, I know she's the type of girl who needs to feel loved and I just never bothered showing her much, but I am so annoyed at myself because I do love her more than anything else. We definetly started drifting apart too, she'd go off for the day with her mum and I'd spend a lot of time with my family, but this was never on purpose as such , I'd often be back late and she would hate being stuck in the house alone not knowing when I'd be back, guess I was just selfish to an extent but I never really meant it honestly.
In the summer she came off the pill and I was hesitant at first, I even pulled out during a very intimate moment once and this upset her greatly, made her feel like she was forcing me into it , I don't even know why I did it to be honest. However after a month or so, I was ok with the idea, but again suppose I never really said to her how I was looking forward to it. Then she had a huge promotion at work and she wanted to be safe for a while until she was guaranteed a job before having a child, so I definetly paid her less attention purely because I didn't want to ruin her chances by getting her pregnant, but she seems to think that I did not want children with her and this is why I stopped even when she was at times trying to spice things up between us by buying sexy underwear etc.
Around a week or 2 after we broken up she was already seeing someone else, they are still in a relationship now, however she said they are taking things slow. This hurts me a lot and her family can't believe how fast she moved on from a serious relationship. She told me it's over and there is basically no chance of trying again , and she stated if we did get back together I'd be thinking of her having been intimate with this guy in the back of my mind all the time , which I guess I would but at the end of the day worse things than this happen all the time in relationships and it can be forgiven eventually as she stated she absolutely didn't cheat on me just moved on very fast.
So although she says to me that I will find somebody else and she's with someone now and we need to move forward, she also stated that when my friend recently told her about my last gf that it did wind her up a little thinking of me with someone else, she'd be imagining if she was prettier or slimmer etc etc, so it seems deep in the back of her mind there must still be something there.
I really regret not having proposed a year or 2 ago, she's the most amazing woman I've ever met, I feel we are truly soulmates and she always told me how she'd love to marry me and how I know she'd definitely say yes. Around 2-3 weeks before she left me I'd been shopping for engagement rings with the view to taking her to Italy in spring and proposing , however it crushes me inside to know I've been that close to having secured it and I've totally ruined my chances now. I was just wondering whether I should really buy an engagement ring and just ask to see her and see what she says when i get down on one knee, I'm truly truly sorry for having been so stupid to have let her go and for every time I let her down, I never meant it once.
I'd assume she'd more than likely say no as like she says it's gone way too far now and her minds made up and on top of that she's been seeing someone else for over 2 months. But I can't lose this girl, I simply can't go on carrying this burden for the rest of my life having lost who I feel is truly 'the one'.
Move on.. yes you will always have the thought of her with someone else at the back of your mind, yes, it will get in the way whether you want it to or not.
Move on. Cut all ties... stop stalking her or whatever it is you're doing such that you know all about what she's doing and move on.
Move on. Cut all ties... stop stalking her or whatever it is you're doing such that you know all about what she's doing and move on.
Jessicus said:
Eagle50946 said:
Around a week or 2 after we broken up she was already seeing someone else, they are still in a relationship now, however she said they are taking things slow.
She was shagging him whilst you were being "sensitive"Sorry. Move on
She didn't get into a relationship, quickly after splitting up with you. She was as I'm sure you already know, in that relationship while she was with you (sorry to spell it out). If you propose you will just make yourself look like a w
ker! Grit your teeth get on with your life and get swiping right on Tinder. The best way to get over a woman is to get under another one.
ker! Grit your teeth get on with your life and get swiping right on Tinder. The best way to get over a woman is to get under another one.Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff