Managed to keep a straight face...

[vx220]

I was checking up on one of our lads at his work experience placement, today. Witnessed a very subtle, professional use of the old "can you get me some sparks for the grinder?" routine...

Took me back a few years!

[rustyabarth]

Funny you say that. We had a young apprentice come into work from the garage up the road for a long stand earlier....fast forward ten minutes he went a funny shade of red and stormed out saying a few expletives

[vx220]

Best one I did was working for Comet when we sold "robosapien" which was a remote control humanoid robot

We told one of the xmas guys he would be wearing a life-sized robosapien outfit the next day to promote the product, and he was to practice walking round like a robot! He fell for it, and spent a day walking round a busy shop like he'd crapped himself.

He was pretty upset when his outfit didn't arrive the next day...

[daniel1920]

Worked in a kitchen while still studding, new waitress looking a bit panicked and had just taken some champagne to a table.

When she came back, the chef says 'That's too busy, go get the bubble counter'

She ended up asking pretty much everyone where it is

[SuperchargedVR6]

Oldies but goldies. "Fetch me the tub of elbow grease please"

[Jayyylo]

Back in the day when I was in Halfords we had a guy come in from the car wash across the road asking for bubbles to put in the soap. I went for the "I think we have some out the back" routine and when I came back after chatting to colleagues for a while he was still standing clueless.
I guess that's what happens when you do work experience at a car wash.

[vx220]

Another Comet one was after getting newbie or work ex to turn off all the TVs at the end of the day, we'd then ask them to go and turn all the microwaves off as well...

[DUMBO100]

As above, when I was a Trainee Car Salesman, the senior Mechanic asked me to get him "a long stand" and being a helpful chap, I obliged.
I went to the workshop office and asked the Service Manager if he had a long stand. "I can help with that" he replied "Wait right there" So I did, for an hour

[vx220]

Another Comet one was after getting newbie or work ex to turn off all the TVs at the end of the day, we'd then ask them to go and turn all the microwaves off as well...

[jesta1865]

vx220 said:

Another Comet one was after getting newbie or work ex to turn off all the TVs at the end of the day, we'd then ask them to go and turn all the microwaves off as well...

i had a mate who worked at currys for a while, they got the newest member of staff to switch off the tv's, as he did with the remotes, they would sometimes use another to switch the tv back on, and they would tell him he wasn't pressing the button in the correct way

also years ago when remotes were what rich people had on their telly, i had some friends who were firemen, they told a story (don't think it was their station) where the lead fireman in the truck had been given a remote control (broken tv one) for the traffic lights. apparently he used to lean out of the window and aim it at the lights as they sped towards them and was most impressed if they changed. the ones that didn't he was told they either didn't have the receiver fitted or he missed with the beam, he swallowed it for a couple of weeks apparently

[Big Fat Fatty]

At a place I used to work at a long time ago run by the owner and his wife, one of the new lads was sent to the office to get some umbilical cord.

Poor bloke was dragged away by the scruff of his neck before he got a kicking from the boss.

[Miguel Alvarez]

jesta1865 said:

also years ago when remotes were what rich people had on their telly, i had some friends who were firemen, they told a story (don't think it was their station) where the lead fireman in the truck had been given a remote control (broken tv one) for the traffic lights. apparently he used to lean out of the window and aim it at the lights as they sped towards them and was most impressed if they changed. the ones that didn't he was told they either didn't have the receiver fitted or he missed with the beam, he swallowed it for a couple of weeks apparently

Lol. Cruel.

[Ganglandboss]

This is one a joiner who used to do a bit of work for us told me. When he was an apprentice, the foreman was a total bell-end. None of the others liked him, but he used to think he was one of the lads.

One of them went into his office and asked him to send the apprentice for a tin of tartan paint. He sent him just before his lunch break so as well as being made to look a tw*t, he would miss some of his break. He gave him a tenner and sent him on his way.

He met the lads outside, walked to the pub with them and got the beer in with the foreman's tenner. Afterwards, he picked up a tin they had labelled 'tartan paint'. He walked up to the gaffer, dropped the tin on the desk, and said, "Here's your change", as he chucked what was left of the tenner on top.

[8Ace]

Aged 14 used to wash up in a hotel kitchen. New lad joined and was asked by the Chef to look in the walk in fridge for a bag of salmon legs. He was in there for about 15 minutes before coming out with numb fingers and calling us bds.

He fell for it again when asked to look for some Chicken Lips.

The tartan food colouring was too far. That one didn't work.

[Moonhawk]

Worked at a supermarket that had a resident butcher. He would often send the new stock boys/girls upstairs to get a pound of chicken lips.

edit: snap

[LordGrover]

Left-handed screwdriver? Tartan paint? Spirit level bubbles?

[Norse_mann]

For a more office based one, ask the new people to phone Mr Ruaridh Lyons and give them the number for Blair Drummond Safari Park.

[Antony Moxey]

Not a work experience story but one a builder told me some years ago. Apparently when he was nipper just starting out he was sent out under the wing of one of the older blokes to help lay a patio. As they were working the client came out to see how they were doing.

'I'm a precision engineer' he announced. 'In my line of work I have to work to tolerances of ten thousandths of an inch. What sort of tolerances do you work to?' Straight away, and keeping a perfectly straight face, the old guy looked up, 'Ten thousandth of an inch? That's no good to me pal, I've got to get these slabs spot on.'

Apparently they never saw the client again...

[anonymous-user]

Bringing things up to date I am lead to believe this is the new favourite on building sites at the moment

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcaFdaJBZyk

Bump start a circular saw

[Xerstead]

One of the guys at work came out of the office and told my mate that someone called Elizabeth had phoned for him, could he call her back on <number>.
It was the number for Windsor Castle