Petty and meaningless bickering with neighbour
Discussion
One of my neighbours has gone and got himself a traffic cone, which he seems very pleased with as he puts it in the road next to his gate, with a little sign that says "No Parking. Access required"
Now this would make sense if he put it outside his gate, as he does indeed require access to get his car on and off his drive. However, he doesn't put it there because, I presume, he assumes that people aren't so thoughtless to park in front of what is clearly a gate to his drive. No - he puts it on the road next to his gate meaning that no-one can park anywhere near his house - this despite it being a cul-de-sac with room for one car per house - so obviously that means that if anyone has a visitor, or a delivery, or two cars, or a skip, you don't always get to park outside your own house. Modern life and all that.
There is no 'access' the cone is protecting at all - he can (and does) easily get his car in and out with someone parked in his special place. It's just a bit of public highway that happens to be next to the 7 foot tall solid wall outside his house - did I mention that he can't even see if you're parked there or not from his house on account of it having a massive wall in the way?
Anyway - I sometimes need to park in the space that's near his house and is a public road as, well, I live next door so it's near my house too. So the cone doesn't get in the way when I park there, I've taken to putting it in front of his gate, as there it makes sense - access is required there, and it would be silly of people to park there. This seems to exasperate him - presumably because he has to move it every time he parks. He tends to leave the cone very close to my car when he tries to put it back. He's never seen me move it I don't think (he has a big wall in the way, after all) but I suspect he knows it is me.
As this is the website that came up with the idea of hammering frozen sausages into a neighbours lawn, I wondered if PH has any other amusing suggestions of things I could (but won't) do in order to escalate this utterly silly, pointless and ultimately destructive dispute?
Now this would make sense if he put it outside his gate, as he does indeed require access to get his car on and off his drive. However, he doesn't put it there because, I presume, he assumes that people aren't so thoughtless to park in front of what is clearly a gate to his drive. No - he puts it on the road next to his gate meaning that no-one can park anywhere near his house - this despite it being a cul-de-sac with room for one car per house - so obviously that means that if anyone has a visitor, or a delivery, or two cars, or a skip, you don't always get to park outside your own house. Modern life and all that.
There is no 'access' the cone is protecting at all - he can (and does) easily get his car in and out with someone parked in his special place. It's just a bit of public highway that happens to be next to the 7 foot tall solid wall outside his house - did I mention that he can't even see if you're parked there or not from his house on account of it having a massive wall in the way?
Anyway - I sometimes need to park in the space that's near his house and is a public road as, well, I live next door so it's near my house too. So the cone doesn't get in the way when I park there, I've taken to putting it in front of his gate, as there it makes sense - access is required there, and it would be silly of people to park there. This seems to exasperate him - presumably because he has to move it every time he parks. He tends to leave the cone very close to my car when he tries to put it back. He's never seen me move it I don't think (he has a big wall in the way, after all) but I suspect he knows it is me.
As this is the website that came up with the idea of hammering frozen sausages into a neighbours lawn, I wondered if PH has any other amusing suggestions of things I could (but won't) do in order to escalate this utterly silly, pointless and ultimately destructive dispute?
andy-xr said:
Park your front wheel on it if you're that bothered, see if he can move it then. I think I'd rather let him get on with it and park the best you can around it really though
If I parked with my wheel on it when it was in it's 'I demand some of the public road is kept clear of the cars of plebs' position, he wouldn't need to move it.If I parked with my wheel on it when it was in my 'this sign only makes sense if it's outside your gate' position, I'd be blocking his gate.
I have, however, considered leaving the cone where it is, and also leaving the area marked as 'No parking' by his sign clear, and just parking in front of his gate ...
blugnu said:
One of my neighbours has gone and got himself a traffic cone, which he seems very pleased with as he puts it in the road next to his gate, with a little sign that says "No Parking. Access required"
Now this would make sense if he put it outside his gate, as he does indeed require access to get his car on and off his drive. However, he doesn't put it there because, I presume, he assumes that people aren't so thoughtless to park in front of what is clearly a gate to his drive. No - he puts it on the road next to his gate meaning that no-one can park anywhere near his house - this despite it being a cul-de-sac with room for one car per house - so obviously that means that if anyone has a visitor, or a delivery, or two cars, or a skip, you don't always get to park outside your own house. Modern life and all that.
There is no 'access' the cone is protecting at all - he can (and does) easily get his car in and out with someone parked in his special place. It's just a bit of public highway that happens to be next to the 7 foot tall solid wall outside his house - did I mention that he can't even see if you're parked there or not from his house on account of it having a massive wall in the way?
Anyway - I sometimes need to park in the space that's near his house and is a public road as, well, I live next door so it's near my house too. So the cone doesn't get in the way when I park there, I've taken to putting it in front of his gate, as there it makes sense - access is required there, and it would be silly of people to park there. This seems to exasperate him - presumably because he has to move it every time he parks. He tends to leave the cone very close to my car when he tries to put it back. He's never seen me move it I don't think (he has a big wall in the way, after all) but I suspect he knows it is me.
As this is the website that came up with the idea of hammering frozen sausages into a neighbours lawn, I wondered if PH has any other amusing suggestions of things I could (but won't) do in order to escalate this utterly silly, pointless and ultimately destructive dispute?
Run the cone over (make sure you go back and forwards over it at least 10 times).Now this would make sense if he put it outside his gate, as he does indeed require access to get his car on and off his drive. However, he doesn't put it there because, I presume, he assumes that people aren't so thoughtless to park in front of what is clearly a gate to his drive. No - he puts it on the road next to his gate meaning that no-one can park anywhere near his house - this despite it being a cul-de-sac with room for one car per house - so obviously that means that if anyone has a visitor, or a delivery, or two cars, or a skip, you don't always get to park outside your own house. Modern life and all that.
There is no 'access' the cone is protecting at all - he can (and does) easily get his car in and out with someone parked in his special place. It's just a bit of public highway that happens to be next to the 7 foot tall solid wall outside his house - did I mention that he can't even see if you're parked there or not from his house on account of it having a massive wall in the way?
Anyway - I sometimes need to park in the space that's near his house and is a public road as, well, I live next door so it's near my house too. So the cone doesn't get in the way when I park there, I've taken to putting it in front of his gate, as there it makes sense - access is required there, and it would be silly of people to park there. This seems to exasperate him - presumably because he has to move it every time he parks. He tends to leave the cone very close to my car when he tries to put it back. He's never seen me move it I don't think (he has a big wall in the way, after all) but I suspect he knows it is me.
As this is the website that came up with the idea of hammering frozen sausages into a neighbours lawn, I wondered if PH has any other amusing suggestions of things I could (but won't) do in order to escalate this utterly silly, pointless and ultimately destructive dispute?
Once it's totally mullered, pretend to find it under your car take it back to the neighbour and ask:
"Is this yours,it had got stuck under my car".
AyBee said:
In that scenario, rather than go and talk to him about why it's there and what his concerns are, I'd immediately get online and tell a load of randoms about it instead... 
I can't help but noticing that PH is failing to pick up on the fact that my thread is supposed to be light-hearted.The cone has been 'in use' for months and I've pretty much ignored it, but since the neighbour has started to get antsy with the 80 year old lady who lives the other side for having the temerity to wish to park her car near her house (he never bothers me, funnily enough) I've started to amuse myself by moving his cone. I did have a chat with him about him blocking up the cul de sac every day for months whilst he was building an extension and he went off on one, telling me all sorts of tales about how when the extension was finished he was going to have 6 members of his family living there and there would be nowhere for anyone else to park and so on - and on that basis (i.e. that he's a slightly unhinged ranter) I'm quite happy to not bother being shouted at in the street for politely saying things like "Just wondering if you have a rough idea when your extension is going to be done, as the trucks, lorries, skip and pallets are a bit in the way and you've been building it for a couple of years now"
But just to be clear - I'm not actually bothered, or looking for real advice, I am just bored at work, and wondered if someone else who is bored at work could come up with a funny thing I could (but won't) do in retaliation to what I've made quite clear is a not very important and petty game I'm playing with a grumpy, self-centered neighbour.
As you were.
8Ace said:
Remote controlled car that is a) powerful but b) small enough to fit under the cone.
Wait until you see he's about to move the thing and make it drive off down the road.
Utter genius. Especially if it's a weighty cone that he's braced for picking-up, and when it zooms off he falls over.Wait until you see he's about to move the thing and make it drive off down the road.
Fishing wire could manage a similar job?
Years ago I knew an old chap (someone I knew's father) who lived in a house with a long-ish (three car) drive and a garage. There was a small factory close behind his house and people that worked there would park (quite legitimately) on the road outside his house. It was a narrow road so only room for parking on one side, which was the opposite side to his house.
Well he didn't like this. Made it hard to get out of his drive he reckoned (although I managed it perfectly fine). So he began his little war of attrition. Writing down the car numbers, how long they'd been parked there, complaints to the factory, complaints to the council, and on and on. Became an obsession.
Eventually the council capitulated and painted double yellow lines on the road outside his house so the people working in the factory couldn't park nearby any more.
Still, at least it made it easier for him to get in and out.
Except it didn't - he didn't have a car...
Well he didn't like this. Made it hard to get out of his drive he reckoned (although I managed it perfectly fine). So he began his little war of attrition. Writing down the car numbers, how long they'd been parked there, complaints to the factory, complaints to the council, and on and on. Became an obsession.
Eventually the council capitulated and painted double yellow lines on the road outside his house so the people working in the factory couldn't park nearby any more.
Still, at least it made it easier for him to get in and out.
Except it didn't - he didn't have a car...
anothernameitist said:
Swap the cone for a smaller one or a different coloured one
I like this a lot. bonus points for replacing it with one that is ever so slightly smaller, so that over time it shrinks and shrinks until it's about the size of a salt cellar. Or get hold of loads of them and add one every day until the road outsid e his house is covered in them.
Alternatively, if you're any good at painting, you could paint one on the road in that perspective style so that when he looks out of his window he sees "it" there on the road.
I really ought to do some work.
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