Be glad when this years done with.
Discussion
So ive just posted in homes about a bungalow me and mrs400 had seen on route home from the pub looking forward etc etc.
Mother in law just rang, father in law had cancer earlier in the year, been for a scan today It gone to his spine now, basically makin it a done deal.
Sister in law is currently goin thru 13 weeks of chemo due to breast cancer.
Sister in laws dad dropped dead last week, funerals next week.
Im getting s
t at work.
I lost both my parents suddenly so never had to cope with this drawn out death thing.
So PH im in need of some words of wisdom/experiences etc to help me along.
Please and thank you in advance
Mother in law just rang, father in law had cancer earlier in the year, been for a scan today It gone to his spine now, basically makin it a done deal.
Sister in law is currently goin thru 13 weeks of chemo due to breast cancer.
Sister in laws dad dropped dead last week, funerals next week.
Im getting s
t at work. I lost both my parents suddenly so never had to cope with this drawn out death thing.
So PH im in need of some words of wisdom/experiences etc to help me along.
Please and thank you in advance
Cossy400 - not sure how old you are but I've found it happening more and more often to me as I get older. Fortunately both my parents are still alive but I've lost other, very close, members of my family well before their time.
I'm sorry to say that it is painful both having to watch people that you love suffer and having to support others through the same experience. It is mentally and physically draining and the pain never really stops. It just gradually recedes into a numbness.
Just remember that there are people out there who care about you and will do anything they can to help.
I'm sorry to say that it is painful both having to watch people that you love suffer and having to support others through the same experience. It is mentally and physically draining and the pain never really stops. It just gradually recedes into a numbness.
Just remember that there are people out there who care about you and will do anything they can to help.
bearman68 said:
Well I can't offer any words of wisdom, but I can offer some e-sympathy.
Sounds like a real st time, and it's bound to bring you down.
Take some solace in a decent OH, and try and look at the good things, not the bad.
All the best mate.
Thanks very much mate. yea its just a plod on time I think. Sounds like a real s
t time, and it's bound to bring you down. Take some solace in a decent OH, and try and look at the good things, not the bad.
All the best mate.
Cheers people, both my parents died quite sudden, but mrs400s dad is the one with cancer in his spine, and the closest Mrs400 has come to losin a relative was her uncle.
Im not the best with words and always somehow put foot in it.
Mrs400 has just had a to do with her lad over Christmas, shes pulled rank and told him hes goin to be goin to grandmas this year, he d got a face like thunder, so shes told him that this will more than likely be his granddads last and its not up for discussion.
I told her to wind her neck in, as theres no point fallin out already.
Im not the best with words and always somehow put foot in it.
Mrs400 has just had a to do with her lad over Christmas, shes pulled rank and told him hes goin to be goin to grandmas this year, he d got a face like thunder, so shes told him that this will more than likely be his granddads last and its not up for discussion.
I told her to wind her neck in, as theres no point fallin out already.
st cossy, that's a lot to deal with all in one go.
You're going to need to be really, really strong for your mrs right now, she will need all the support you can give her in these tough times! You will need to be her rock at all times to help her through this. She will be up and down, and it's down to you to help get her through whatever lies ahead. I only know this, because what I describe is what my mrs has done for me for the last 18 months of our lives, and without her, I'd have never have made it.
In dark days, what doesn't kill you will make you stronger.
As for the st at work, don't put up with it!!!! No matter what that throws at you, if it gets really on top, ask them/work if they'd like to swap places with you right now. They won't, coz they ain't got the balls or the strength to deal with what you have too right now!
Whilst trying to keep on top of all of this, try and have an outlet for yourself. Don't bottle up all what's going on, have a mate, family member or even PH if you want, having someone or somewhere to share this with can really help, ( I hope.)
It did/does for me!!!!
Be strong, not always easy, (I know) and good luck,
This is always a good place to vent if you need to mate
Thinking of ya!!!
t cossy, that's a lot to deal with all in one go.You're going to need to be really, really strong for your mrs right now, she will need all the support you can give her in these tough times! You will need to be her rock at all times to help her through this. She will be up and down, and it's down to you to help get her through whatever lies ahead. I only know this, because what I describe is what my mrs has done for me for the last 18 months of our lives, and without her, I'd have never have made it.
In dark days, what doesn't kill you will make you stronger.
As for the s
t at work, don't put up with it!!!! No matter what that throws at you, if it gets really on top, ask them/work if they'd like to swap places with you right now. They won't, coz they ain't got the balls or the strength to deal with what you have too right now!Whilst trying to keep on top of all of this, try and have an outlet for yourself. Don't bottle up all what's going on, have a mate, family member or even PH if you want, having someone or somewhere to share this with can really help, ( I hope.)
It did/does for me!!!!
Be strong, not always easy, (I know) and good luck,
This is always a good place to vent if you need to mate
Thinking of ya!!!
First of all, thanks very much for the replys, its been an odd week in terms of awaitin updates from the MIL with regards to the hospitals results on the FIL.
"Apparantly" its now his lung aswell, so the news which is frequent, its still not the best.
Ive called a favour in at work so I can have next fri 13th of so we can drive down to them and basically just be there, (it will only be arrive Fri come back sunday) but we d already arranged to go down at the end of the month for 4 days, but the MIL is very happy about it.
Mrs400 is nt the best on motorways, (she will if she has too) but would rather I drive.
Work are now aware of the situation hence the quick allowance of the day off, (normally 28 days notice)
Pulled rank with Mrs400s kids and told them there Christmas plans have now changed and we are all goin MIL/FIL for Christmas, due to not knowin how long the old chap has we agreed that we should all give him a good Christmas, As it has been a while since the whole family was together.
Have also told them that ill stump up the cash for hotels if need be.
Sorry its abit of a rammel
"Apparantly" its now his lung aswell, so the news which is frequent, its still not the best.
Ive called a favour in at work so I can have next fri 13th of so we can drive down to them and basically just be there, (it will only be arrive Fri come back sunday) but we d already arranged to go down at the end of the month for 4 days, but the MIL is very happy about it.
Mrs400 is nt the best on motorways, (she will if she has too) but would rather I drive.
Work are now aware of the situation hence the quick allowance of the day off, (normally 28 days notice)
Pulled rank with Mrs400s kids and told them there Christmas plans have now changed and we are all goin MIL/FIL for Christmas, due to not knowin how long the old chap has we agreed that we should all give him a good Christmas, As it has been a while since the whole family was together.
Have also told them that ill stump up the cash for hotels if need be.
Sorry its abit of a rammel
Sorry to hear about the bad news.
For what it's worth, my wife is having treatment for breast cancer and is going into hospital on Monday for a mastectomy and her lymph nodes removed.
She was diagnosed in May and it's been a crap summer as a result. However, there are a lot of positives she's got from the experience. Her attitude to the world we live in and life in general has been kicked into a far better balance of priorities than it was previously. Diet, exercise, interests etc are all now improved.
I wish your sister-in-law all the best and if she has;t already, I would suggest using the resources and support groups available. My wife found them invaluable.
For what it's worth, my wife is having treatment for breast cancer and is going into hospital on Monday for a mastectomy and her lymph nodes removed.
She was diagnosed in May and it's been a crap summer as a result. However, there are a lot of positives she's got from the experience. Her attitude to the world we live in and life in general has been kicked into a far better balance of priorities than it was previously. Diet, exercise, interests etc are all now improved.
I wish your sister-in-law all the best and if she has;t already, I would suggest using the resources and support groups available. My wife found them invaluable.
Thought I update this as we re down visitin again. FIL is in hospital, lung, liver and spine are all in the mix now, basically sayin It could be weeks rather than months.
stty time all round, there are planning on him bein at home as soon as possible, beds arrived and they are havin meetings about meetings reguardin care and visits etc.
Bless him thou, hes requested a curved tele for when hes home, so been sorting that out whilst we ve been here.
Work for me is still testing to say the least, had a chat with one of the bosses on thurs and basically told him, I don't need the st, Christmas out the way im gone.....
ive not been in since then and wont be till tues, and then ill be in get paperwork and gone and the reverse when I get back, normally we have small talk a brew etc.
not now, I have stuck he feelers out on facebook amongst the people I know of my intentions to leave and have had a few leads to act on. (ive never been friends with anyone from my current place of work, not due to having anything to hide, I just don't see the point.)
I know its abit rammely again, and maybe a little droning on,
s
tty time all round, there are planning on him bein at home as soon as possible, beds arrived and they are havin meetings about meetings reguardin care and visits etc. Bless him thou, hes requested a curved tele for when hes home, so been sorting that out whilst we ve been here.
Work for me is still testing to say the least, had a chat with one of the bosses on thurs and basically told him, I don't need the s
t, Christmas out the way im gone..... ive not been in since then and wont be till tues, and then ill be in get paperwork and gone and the reverse when I get back, normally we have small talk a brew etc.
not now, I have stuck he feelers out on facebook amongst the people I know of my intentions to leave and have had a few leads to act on. (ive never been friends with anyone from my current place of work, not due to having anything to hide, I just don't see the point.)
I know its abit rammely again, and maybe a little droning on,
I once had to ask a boss I didn't particularly get on with for time off of a power station shutdown job because my wife's grandmother had passed away suddenly and she was quite upset.
I expected hassle because me leaving suddenly would drop him and the rest of the team in it, but I was surprised. He said "This ste doesn't matter, family matters. Get yourself home". He was right.
You're doing the right thing. Unless it's life or death work is just work.
Do the best you can, enjoy the good days and try not to linger on the bad ones.
I expected hassle because me leaving suddenly would drop him and the rest of the team in it, but I was surprised. He said "This s
te doesn't matter, family matters. Get yourself home". He was right.You're doing the right thing. Unless it's life or death work is just work.
Do the best you can, enjoy the good days and try not to linger on the bad ones.
As they say what a difference a day makes............. well in my case it a few hours, MIL and daughter went to see FIL today at 11am ish whilst there he had his turkey dinner which by all accounts he was loving, but some went down the wrong hole he ended up havin a choking fit and since then his oxygen levels have dropped and his been constantly on oxygen.
We got there at 5pm this evening, after talkin with the nurse she has basically said that he is very unlikely to recover from this, im afraid to say this is where I shut off and went for a walk.
MRS400 found me in the car and told me that the son is on his way down, (just hopin he makes it).
MRS400 and the MIL have gone all practical and me and MRS400 brother have fell to pieces.
Im sat at there house now awaitin the sons arrival to take him down.
We got there at 5pm this evening, after talkin with the nurse she has basically said that he is very unlikely to recover from this, im afraid to say this is where I shut off and went for a walk.
MRS400 found me in the car and told me that the son is on his way down, (just hopin he makes it).
MRS400 and the MIL have gone all practical and me and MRS400 brother have fell to pieces.
Im sat at there house now awaitin the sons arrival to take him down.
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