Management Speak

[cookmysock]

stumbled across this on Linkedin written by some moron in response to a poorly written article a bout how to turbo charge a meeting. It is just pure drivel

...I support the views that all companies should be investing in new innovation capital competitive advantages so as to developing new products/ services/ designs/ markets/ business/ equity and culture via the creative industries worldwide i.e. global new business opportunities exist to innovate and maximise corporate values and benefits - new business innovation could be outsourced and licensed to investors worldwide for profits via brand extension models = new financial innovation...

Surely the writer must have been taking the mickey?

[ikarl]

Individually I understand each of those words. Put together in that sentence turns it into utter ste.

Does remind me of someone I work with though! Does anyone else identify it with someone they work with?

[daddy cool]

cookmysock said:

...I support the views that all companies should be investing in new innovation capital competitive advantages so as to developing new products

I googled just that part and it seems that "Ibukun Ogunfeitimi" has been spamming it on dozens of Linkedin articles. Whether hes just a spambot, or a real person that (misguidedly) thinks Alan Sugar is going to notice his comments and offer him a job, who knows...

(His profile describes himself as a "New: Business Mentor - Philosopher - Innovator - Inventor - Ad Pioneer - B2B2C Wealth Creator". I describe myself as "work in an office, forwarding emails on", so maybe im the tosspot)

[dub16v]

http://www.atrixnet.com/bs-generator.html

[motco]

It's what a psychologist of my acquaintance would call a 'word salad'.

[anonymous-user]

cookmysock said:

stumbled across this on Linkedin written by some moron in response to a poorly written article a bout how to turbo charge a meeting. It is just pure drivel

...I support the views that all companies should be investing in new innovation capital competitive advantages so as to developing new products/ services/ designs/ markets/ business/ equity and culture via the creative industries worldwide i.e. global new business opportunities exist to innovate and maximise corporate values and benefits - new business innovation could be outsourced and licensed to investors worldwide for profits via brand extension models = new financial innovation...

Surely the writer must have been taking the mickey?

That means - even though we're making large amounts of money, you have to have a pay cut.

[mike80]

[steveT350C]

ikarl said:

Individually I understand each of those words. Put together in that sentence turns it into utter ste.

Does remind me of someone I work with though! Does anyone else identify it with someone they work with?

My 'manager' does this all the time. She uses words and phrases specific to our industry and then mixes in the bullst such as 'strategic' and 'corporate alignment' and 'value proposal'. She is Glaswegian as well so the end result is truly verbal diarrhoea.

I have given her my 100% attention in the past and still did not understand her point. I honestly believe she uses this 'management speak' tactic to cover up the fact that she actually knows fook all.

[schmalex]

I've noticed that on the new LinkedIn app, there is a box beneath a comment entitled "Reach Out"

I nearly threw my phone through the nearest window

[944fan]

Never mind using all the words a fking comma wouldn't go a miss.

[GAjon]

We've run out of ideas and money.
We need sell off to someone who knows what their doing and who has cash.
Or we're fked.

Edited by GAjon on Friday 11th December 16:38

[Guvernator]

Whenever I start work for a new client, you can bet your bottom dollar that there will be at least one or two people who talk exactly like that. I am convinced there is a secret place where they churn out middle managers, project managers etc that talk like this.

Great one I heard in a meeting the other day was the word "solutionise", WTF?

[Wacky Racer]

Guvernator said:

Great one I heard in a meeting the other day was the word "solutionise", WTF?

That's about ballpark these days, obviously someone thinking outside the box.

[julianm]

Sounds like it`s time for a game of `bks Bingo` at your next meeting:
http://www.bksphere.co.uk/Content/Business.sh...

[jimmytheone]

the next person to tell me to "reach out" to a supplier, grrrr

[Hawkers]

The bottom line is...

[crofty1984]

I have a mandatory 2 day workshop next week on workingt together. Do I win? I'll make notes if anything good comes up.

[Matt Harper]

Hmmm - that's not in my wheelhouse.

[texaxile]

dub16v said:

http://www.atrixnet.com/bs-generator.html

bookmarked. Wish we had a "like" or "+1"button

[RacingBlue]

Wacky Racer said:

That's about ballpark these days, obviously someone thinking outside the box.

My old boss constantly referred to 'Solutioneering' as well.

What a tt.