Expats and emigrants of PH....coming home....

[sooperscoop]

I've been working abroad since 1998, apart from a couple of years in the 00s, and it's always been job related temporary postings for 2~5 years: China, USA, Canada, Korea.

Like most expats, it's always been just a job, and will be coming home eventually, for retirement or sooner.

But lately I've been toying with maybe not coming home at all, even permanently relocating to China through marriage, odd as it may seem. I'm conflicted, the UK is my homeland, and is in my soul as much as the next Brit. But my parents are getting older, and when they go there's not much to go back to, and every visit I feel less and less connected. Some of my colleagues rant about immigrants and crime but to be honest, they don't bother me much, I just feel disconnected from society and living abroad all these years makes me realise that the UK just isn't very....special. I don't mean to offend by that, but there just doesn't seem any compelling reason to go back.

So, expats of PH, are you gonna come home, or do you have other plans? How do you feel about it?

[RobDickinson]

No way! Every time I go back its slipped a little further down the slope..

[Silver993tt]

I left the UK around the same time, 20 years ago. I visit 2-3 times a year to see friends etc but it has zero attraction to live in for me. Generally miserable, aggressive and jealous people and a society that's material mad with little community culture or concern. There seems to be a real culture of people trying to prove themselves 'better' than everyone else, constantly trying to outdo one another, a horrible trait.

Best thing I ever did was to move away all those years ago

[cloggy]

I did it the other way around.
Left Holland 34 years ago and would not go back.

My English wife, kids and grand children are all in the UK.

Go back to Holland about once a year to see family and friends but no desire to return.

[Adenauer]

RobDickinson said:

No way! Every time I go back its slipped a little further down the slope..

This, exactly this, unfortunately.

I used to love England, especially the South Coast, but for a good few years now whenever I go back I can't wait to leave again.

No doubt there will be some 'good riddance, glad you moved away' folk along soon. They don't help either.

[crossy67]

Silver993tt said:

I left the UK around the same time, 20 years ago. I visit 2-3 times a year to see friends etc but it has zero attraction to live in for me. Generally miserable, aggressive and jealous people and a society that's material mad with little community culture or concern. There seems to be a real culture of people trying to prove themselves 'better' than everyone else, constantly trying to outdo one another, a horrible trait.

Best thing I ever did was to move away all those years ago

Can't really add anything to this. I moved to France 5 years ago, never going back. The nostalgic dream of the UK in my youth has long long gone to be replaced by something I can't bare. Individually the people are still nice but as a country they are as described by the above.

I do feel homeless to a degree, I am not a native of France although the people are very accepting and warm but it's not my homeland, problem is my homeland has gone.

[LeoZwalf]

cloggy said:

I did it the other way around.
Left Holland 34 years ago and would not go back.

My English wife, kids and grand children are all in the UK.

Go back to Holland about once a year to see family and friends but no desire to return.

Am happy to take your place, I really like living and working in NL and have no desire to return to living in the UK!

[NNH]

I came home to the UK five years ago, after a decade of living in France and the USA. I'm enjoying being back in Britain, and I feel like I'm seeing it with new eyes.

[juice]

NNH said:

I came home to the UK five years ago, after a decade of living in France and the USA. I'm enjoying being back in Britain, and I feel like I'm seeing it with new eyes.

I came back to the UK 18 months ago after 15 years in Bermuda. Absolutely loving it ! Can buy a house, can have more than one car, everyone is 100x more polite than Bermuda, no-where near as much racism here and SO much more to do.

I even like the weather (was hoping for snow this year but hey ho)

Only thing that sucks so far is that taxman

[NordicCrankShaft]

Left two two years ago and have no intention of coming back. Like previously said every time I go back its just slipped further and further into decline.

The quality of life here is fantastic but can be expensive although wages kind of negate that. There's a big focus on work life balance here and its important that families spend time together.

I do miss certain things like just being able to pop to the pub for one or two casual beers and the price of buying a car out here is eye watering but in the grand scheme of things its all just materialistic stuff I miss.

[Eric Mc]

These discussions always end up like this -

I left and I did the right thing
I came back and I did the right thing

You hardly ever see -

I left and made a big mistake
I came back and I made a big mistake

People tend to justify in their own minds whatever path they have chosen for their life. This is absolutely natural - but makes these threads become a bit "samey".

[el romeral]

It is an interesting question and one I have been thinking about quite a lot these days. I left the UK 22 years ago and spent 6 in Norway followed by the last 16 years here in Spain. The relatively few times I have been back to the UK lately, I find myself liking it more and more. Most of my familiy are in the Inverness area now.
I got married to a Norwegian while in Norway and have recently become divorced in Spain (wife ran off to Norway with a former school friend who made & built up contact on FB). Both daughters now left home so lonliness is a big issue (one studies in the UK and the other works in Middle East). If I could get a good price for my house then I think I would return. Would miss the weather though. The other option I have is that, due to working offshore, I could literally live anywhere in the world. I think the UK would take some beating though.

Edit, just looking at the above post and looking back, I freely admit that I am not sure if we did the right thing. My children would have had a far better education in the UK or in Norway than they had in Spain. Something I have to live with.

Edited by el romeral on Friday 18th December 09:02

[NRS]

NordicCrankShaft said:

Left two two years ago and have no intention of coming back. Like previously said every time I go back its just slipped further and further into decline.

The quality of life here is fantastic but can be expensive although wages kind of negate that. There's a big focus on work life balance here and its important that families spend time together.

I do miss certain things like just being able to pop to the pub for one or two casual beers and the price of buying a car out here is eye watering but in the grand scheme of things its all just materialistic stuff I miss.

Having moved from the UK to the same country as you (Norway) would have to say I feel the same. The UK isn't that bad, but the generally I enjoy the more contented nature people have here, which a lot seems to be due to more equal good wages and so there is less people working something they hate for the money/ fighting to get to the top management for the power/ money. I could easily move back to the UK, but just see the upsides of Norway being that bit more important (contentment over materialistic things).

Eric Mc said:

These discussions always end up like this -

I left and I did the right thing
I came back and I did the right thing

You hardly ever see -

I left and made a big mistake
I came back and I made a big mistake

People tend to justify in their own minds whatever path they have chosen for their life. This is absolutely natural - but makes these threads become a bit "samey".

Quite a lot of the latter, just they usually end up in a different thread title! I guess a lot of people returned to the UK from Spain after the financial crash.

[rhinochopig]

Eric Mc said:

These discussions always end up like this -

I left and I did the right thing
I came back and I did the right thing

You hardly ever see -

I left and made a big mistake
I came back and I made a big mistake

People tend to justify in their own minds whatever path they have chosen for their life. This is absolutely natural - but makes these threads become a bit "samey".

The mistake threads are usually reserved for marriage.

Back on topic, I moved from cities to a small rural community in N Yorks. Like living in a totally different country with a real sense of community. Crime is low, people are polite and always willing to help out. Not all of the UK is crap - it's a bit like a curate's egg IMO.

[Silver993tt]

Most British only have a view on other countries through vacations or business trips, relatively few have actually lived in another country and studied the language etc (I don't consider other English speaking countries such as US, Australia etc as actually experiencing a very different culture). They often discount living in another country simply from a visit of a few days or couple of weeks and that forms most of the opinions where the British say the UK is the best place to live. Many, if they do 'live' in another country just spend time with other expats and never embrace what the country or people have to offer. It is these that end up going back and saying that the UK is the best place - because they never really left it.

For me, simply the massively reduced stress levels (you won't understand that until you leave the UK and live somewhere else), the less materialistic life (even in most other parts of Europe) and the much more (generally) friendly, accommodating and socially accepting people are the core advantages.

When I visit my friends in the UK, their lives revolve around:

1) Work
2) Commuting
3) Fighting for visibility at work, the next step
4) Eating out at overpriced restaurants 4-5 times a week and not really enjoying it but saying they do
6) Drinking too much
7) Spending all day on Saturdays & Sundays driving to shopping malls/DIY stores
8) Indirectly complaining about immigration with of course admitting it
9) What's their next car is going to be.
10) What their next hugely overpriced vacation is going to be
11) Continually talking about property, this really is a huge bore as they never enjoy their 'asset' anyway
12) there are more but are even more boring....

[djt100]

I never left but wish I had, Britain is on a slippery slope with very little going for it, I have kids now and I although I live in a good area I'm looking to move somewhere more rural so i can keep them away from all the BS in town.

[IanUAE]

I left the UK in early 1998 for 5 or 6 months......and still overseas (just over 7 years in India in 3 cities, and just over 10 years based in Dubai). Luckily I travel a lot (currently working in the Seychelles) so I haven't got bored of working out of 1 office.

We sometimes come back to the UK once per year, some years we don't.

Currently having an apartment built in Delhi (wifes home town). No fixed plan as to where we will live after I retire at the moment. The UK does have advantages but also some disadvantages, but as I have another 20 years to go, not thinking about it at the moment.

[Adenauer]

Silver993tt said:

7) Spending all day on Saturdays & Sundays driving to shopping malls/DIY stores

10) What their next hugely overpriced vacation is going to be

11) Continually talking about property, this really is a huge bore as they never enjoy their 'asset' anyway

7) Absolutely, I love the fact that from Saturday lunchtime the weekend isn't spent driving to the shops or big DIY stores.

10) It's like being in doogz's upgrade thread again.

11) 'I've made 60 grand on my house, so I've bought another one, for 60 grand more, etc etc etc.

[cloggy]

kapiteinlangzaam said:

Back of the queue, ive already bagged my spot in the cultural exchange with Cloggy

True, I remember meeting you on one of the DSR that Dinkel organised.

[Silver993tt]

cloggy said:

kapiteinlangzaam said:

Back of the queue, ive already bagged my spot in the cultural exchange with Cloggy

True, I remember meeting you on one of the DSR that Dinkel organised.

I lived in the Netherlands for 2 years, had a great time, great people also. Weather was a bit depressing but I was in Amsterdam, so a lot to do. The transport system was fabulous, made the UK offering look prehistoric, especially on pricing.