Christmas day disaster stories
Discussion
Thought it might be a good thread if people shared their Christmas day disaster stories - you know the sort of thing...
Family arguments
Someone too drunk
Unhappy with presents
etc etc
My offering is pretty paltry. Back in my teens I had an old VW beetle and it ran low on fuel and petrol stations weren't really open on
Christmas day.
I decided to follow my dads advice and syphon some from his tank using a hosepipe - having never even heard of this before let alone tried it, I ended up with a mouthful of petrol and somehow managed to swallow some whilst coughing.
It ruined the day for me, I was sick many times, couldn't eat dinner and generally just lay around annoying my family and visitors
Surely someone has a better story than mine?
Family arguments
Someone too drunk
Unhappy with presents
etc etc
My offering is pretty paltry. Back in my teens I had an old VW beetle and it ran low on fuel and petrol stations weren't really open on
Christmas day.
I decided to follow my dads advice and syphon some from his tank using a hosepipe - having never even heard of this before let alone tried it, I ended up with a mouthful of petrol and somehow managed to swallow some whilst coughing.
It ruined the day for me, I was sick many times, couldn't eat dinner and generally just lay around annoying my family and visitors
Surely someone has a better story than mine?
Not a disaster but still makes me laugh when I think about it.
My wife and I have been together 19 yrs, and have only cooked Christmas dinner for ourselves just the once, we normally eat out or at relatives.
So, I offer to cook, lob the turkey in the oven and retreat to the sofa, approx 90 mins later the smoke alarm goes off.
Some knob jockey/me had turned the grill on instead of the oven.
Top half of Turkey was on fire, bottom half was still bleeding, LOL.
It was a late Christmas dinner that day. Never again.
My wife and I have been together 19 yrs, and have only cooked Christmas dinner for ourselves just the once, we normally eat out or at relatives.
So, I offer to cook, lob the turkey in the oven and retreat to the sofa, approx 90 mins later the smoke alarm goes off.
Some knob jockey/me had turned the grill on instead of the oven.
Top half of Turkey was on fire, bottom half was still bleeding, LOL.
It was a late Christmas dinner that day. Never again.
TwigtheWonderkid said:
Cat climbed xmas tree and toppled it over onto the dining table, just as everyone was about to tuck in. Cat landed in bowl of bread sauce, pine needles everywhere, whole meal a write off.
what a catastrophe...
i had an ulcer on the eye, pretty much can't do jack.
The only year it ever snowed on Christmas day was the year I got a mountain bike but wasn't allowed out on it until the snow had gone.
The year I got a Scaletrix kit there was a power cut which effected a huge chunk of Gloucestershire. We ended up having an all day breakfast at the motorway services that year as we only had an electric oven at home.
The year I got a Scaletrix kit there was a power cut which effected a huge chunk of Gloucestershire. We ended up having an all day breakfast at the motorway services that year as we only had an electric oven at home.
TwigtheWonderkid said:
Cat climbed xmas tree and toppled it over onto the dining table, just as everyone was about to tuck in. Cat landed in bowl of bread sauce, pine needles everywhere, whole meal a write off.
Someone my Mrs knows got a new kitten this year. Kids found it last week hanging dead from the tree light cabling. Merry Christmas!
My Dad and uncle had a massive falling out. We had travelled 200 miles to spend Christmas with them. It started as a little bit of grumpiness and ended with my Dad verbally venting 30-odd years of anger at being forced to share Christmases and holidays with my uncle and in-laws.
We left early on Christmas Day with my Mum and Dad rowing all the way home.
We got home and were in the frosty silence stage when our new neighbour called round with his little daughter bearing chocolates and wine.
Heart melted by Christmas kindness my Dad called my uncle, had a few brief words with him and we drove the 200 miles back.
On arrival, mutual apologies, hugs and a cracking Christmas and New Year followed.
That was 30 years ago tonight.
We left early on Christmas Day with my Mum and Dad rowing all the way home.
We got home and were in the frosty silence stage when our new neighbour called round with his little daughter bearing chocolates and wine.
Heart melted by Christmas kindness my Dad called my uncle, had a few brief words with him and we drove the 200 miles back.
On arrival, mutual apologies, hugs and a cracking Christmas and New Year followed.
That was 30 years ago tonight.
dave_s13 said:
TwigtheWonderkid said:
Cat climbed xmas tree and toppled it over onto the dining table, just as everyone was about to tuck in. Cat landed in bowl of bread sauce, pine needles everywhere, whole meal a write off.
Someone my Mrs knows got a new kitten this year. Kids found it last week hanging dead from the tree light cabling. Merry Christmas!
lord trumpton said:
dave_s13 said:
TwigtheWonderkid said:
Cat climbed xmas tree and toppled it over onto the dining table, just as everyone was about to tuck in. Cat landed in bowl of bread sauce, pine needles everywhere, whole meal a write off.
Someone my Mrs knows got a new kitten this year. Kids found it last week hanging dead from the tree light cabling. Merry Christmas!
numtumfutunch said:
lord trumpton said:
dave_s13 said:
TwigtheWonderkid said:
Cat climbed xmas tree and toppled it over onto the dining table, just as everyone was about to tuck in. Cat landed in bowl of bread sauce, pine needles everywhere, whole meal a write off.
Someone my Mrs knows got a new kitten this year. Kids found it last week hanging dead from the tree light cabling. Merry Christmas!
I posted this up two years ago in a similar thread.
It's not the family - it's when family members invite people over for Christmas.
My worst Christmas dinner ever. ( names have been changed )
My mother extended an invitation to one of her friends who would be on their own. Let's call her Anne
I reply - not a problem - we have space - and she is on her own.
Anne turns up at the door. She is in her 70's, quite large and immediately the severe bodily odour issue is apparent.
During introductions - Anne says that she hopes I don't mind - but she has invited her ex-boyfriend around too - as she wants to try and get back together with him.
30 minutes later - the door goes. The ex-boyfriend rucks up. Let's call him Alex.
Alex is late 50's - and for some reason has brought a guitar - and an extra surprise - his current boyfriend. Let's call him Chris.
Chris is early 30's, overtly effeminate - and immaculately dressed. Clearly a direct message to Anne - that Alex has moved on.
Seating arrangement around the table is interesting - as Anne wants to sit next to Alex. Alex is having none of it - and wants to sit next to Chris.
Just as I'm carving the turkey - the conversation takes a somewhat surreal twist.
Alex pipes up "Well, I think Hitler had the right idea about gassing the Jews. What to you think?"
Everyone at the table is stunned - I reply "Alex - If Hitler had his way - I think you would have been gassed also. Now- how many slices of turkey."
Slowly normality returns. I go out to the kitchen to start bringing in desert - only to be catch the tail end of Alex's tirade on my Wife's nationality and how he can't stand those type of people.
Wife starts crying - and runs off to the bedroom.
I follow wife - get her side of the story.
I go back downstairs - I take Alex aside - tell Alex that he has outstayed his welcome.
( I'm stunned that I didn't deck him at the time)
He storms off.
I'm left with:
- mother in tears downstairs
- wife with tears upstairs - who won't come down.
- Chris; who knows no-one and had no means of getting home. Who is now crying and ranting about dumping Alex as his boyfriend.
- Anne; who is is tears and is seeking my advice on how to get Alex back.
- A guitar.
And to top the lot - the pipes froze.
Mother is barred from inviting anyone round.
It's not the family - it's when family members invite people over for Christmas.
My worst Christmas dinner ever. ( names have been changed )
My mother extended an invitation to one of her friends who would be on their own. Let's call her Anne
I reply - not a problem - we have space - and she is on her own.
Anne turns up at the door. She is in her 70's, quite large and immediately the severe bodily odour issue is apparent.
During introductions - Anne says that she hopes I don't mind - but she has invited her ex-boyfriend around too - as she wants to try and get back together with him.
30 minutes later - the door goes. The ex-boyfriend rucks up. Let's call him Alex.
Alex is late 50's - and for some reason has brought a guitar - and an extra surprise - his current boyfriend. Let's call him Chris.
Chris is early 30's, overtly effeminate - and immaculately dressed. Clearly a direct message to Anne - that Alex has moved on.
Seating arrangement around the table is interesting - as Anne wants to sit next to Alex. Alex is having none of it - and wants to sit next to Chris.
Just as I'm carving the turkey - the conversation takes a somewhat surreal twist.
Alex pipes up "Well, I think Hitler had the right idea about gassing the Jews. What to you think?"
Everyone at the table is stunned - I reply "Alex - If Hitler had his way - I think you would have been gassed also. Now- how many slices of turkey."
Slowly normality returns. I go out to the kitchen to start bringing in desert - only to be catch the tail end of Alex's tirade on my Wife's nationality and how he can't stand those type of people.
Wife starts crying - and runs off to the bedroom.
I follow wife - get her side of the story.
I go back downstairs - I take Alex aside - tell Alex that he has outstayed his welcome.
( I'm stunned that I didn't deck him at the time)
He storms off.
I'm left with:
- mother in tears downstairs
- wife with tears upstairs - who won't come down.
- Chris; who knows no-one and had no means of getting home. Who is now crying and ranting about dumping Alex as his boyfriend.
- Anne; who is is tears and is seeking my advice on how to get Alex back.
- A guitar.
And to top the lot - the pipes froze.
Mother is barred from inviting anyone round.
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