Do you think trust can ever be earned back?

[Chateauneufdupape]

What's the consensus on this one then..

I'm asking specifically about trust in a relationship, not the jeremy Kyle sort of 'did my brother steal my baby's ipad' kind of thing.

Once it's broken, is it worth keeping at it and hoping it'll come back, or is it gone forever, and hoping it'll come back is just a waste of time?

[Wacky Racer]

Of course it can come back, but it may take time, sometimes even years.

[soad]

Depends on how desperate you are.

[CX53]

IME if it's somehing worth saving then you've got to try and find out.

[smn159]

What have you done then?

[Stupeo]

Wacky Racer said:

Of course it can come back, but it may take time, sometimes even years.

This. I've just learnt how difficult it can be to trust someone again..

[Chateauneufdupape]

soad said:

Depends on how desperate you are.

If you mean desperate to make my relationship work then yes I'm reasonably desperate, but unsure if it's the right thing to do.

[Chateauneufdupape]

smn159 said:

What have you done then?

Not me..

[Chateauneufdupape]

Stupeo said:

This. I've just learnt how difficult it can be to trust someone again..

Ive been trying for a couple of months now, and there are days it doesn't enter my mind, and then other days (usually the weekend where there are no distractions of work etc) where it becomes quite problematic.

[grumbledoak]

No.

[ali_kat]

No, it is always there in the back of your mind

[abbotsmike]

Depends on how it was lost.

[Stupeo]

Chateauneufdupape said:

Ive been trying for a couple of months now, and there are days it doesn't enter my mind, and then other days (usually the weekend where there are no distractions of work etc) where it becomes quite problematic.

I know exactly how you feel. Then certain things remind you of it and it all comes flooding back. Doesn't help when the other party doesn't get how your feeling. However, if you want to trust again, you will, just takes time.

[soad]

There is no guarantee that your partner will not cheat again. There is no guarantee that you two will stay together. At the same time, there is no guarantee that your partner will cheat again. There is no guarantee that you two will break up either.

Now, if you have decided to try to rebuild trust and repair your relationship, your mind might be overrun with fears that your partner will cheat again. These fears are understandable and they can also stand in the way of you being able to do what it takes to help put your relationship back on track.

You don't want to be lied to and hurt again, and so you get cautious and tentative. This cautiousness can hold you back from opening up to the healing and growth that's necessary to save your relationship.

However, you can begin to consciously let go of your tentativeness and holding yourself back. You can pay close attention to signs in your partner, yourself and your relationship that help you make the best decisions about your future.

[grumpy52]

It will ALWAYS be lurking in the back of your mind .

[Carthage]

No, I think that trust can never be fully repaired once shattered.

I'd finish the relationship and look for something shiny new and untarnished.

[FlyingMeeces]

I intellectually think yes, it can, I can't see why not..

But emotionally, nope, I don't give people a chance to hurt me twice. Although a few times I've trusted someone once when I never should have trusted them at all.

[Rich_W]

Well the OP hasn't said WHO was responsible for breaking of trust.

As ever no 2 situations are the same. Your GF of 5 years gets drunk as hell and snogs some other guy? No previous history of playing away. I'd probably be OK with that after some time if she apologised to me and was evidently remorseful. Your GF has been seeing a guy behind your back for the last 6 months. Probably less likely to be OK with it.

OP. What is your current situation?

[TheChampers]

In a relationship? Uberrimae Fidei (caveated with degrees of breach of trust as mentioned above, drunk snog, yes maybe, full-blown months on end playing away; very tough, but not impossible, to forgive?) Gawd knows....

[funkyrobot]

Is this thread about a second hand car from a dodgy dealer?