Misquotes that make you LOL

[Tyre Tread]

I just read on another thread "You are chasing a dead horse" which brought to mind an image of someone trying to chase a horse carcass with flies buzzing around it.

What other misquotes or malapropisms have you seen or heard that amused you/

[roboxm3]

I used to work with a guy who came out with these on a regular basis.

"Getting the final piece of the pie over the line" is the first one that comes to mind.

We'd keep a note of these gems said in any meetings etc. and update the 'master file' for our later amusement.

[Ikemi]

"We're a blue ribbon company ..." when my colleague actually meant to say, "We're a blue chip company"

[Rickyy]

Used to work with someone years ago who was quite easy to wind up, he came out with "If you two don't stop, you're going to feel my raft".

[daddy cool]

Ikemi said:

"We're a blue ribbon company ..." when my colleague actually meant to say, "We're a blue chip company"

It would have been ok if you worked for a shipping company (and had just misheard "Riband").

[R8VXF]

Some lass on my Farcebook feed keeps on putting up pictures titled "Working progress".

[Europa1]

From the TV, Film and Radio forum: "I've always liked Waldemar Januszczak's presentation, but this time he's expelled himself"

[funkyrobot]

'Damp squid'.

[schmunk]

Chester drawers and walldrobe.

[cobra kid]

"a fraudulent slip"

[cobra kid]

"like a bull in a chip shop"

[Jasandjules]

If you watch Dave Gorman he did a long segment on this - twitter quotes etc.

[Rickyy]

schmunk said:

Chester drawers and walldrobe.

I have those either side of my chimley breast.

[R8VXF]

schmunk said:

Chester drawers and walldrobe.

Seem to be pretty cheap on Ebay! http://www.ebay.co.uk/sch/i.html?_from=R40&_tr...

http://www.ebay.co.uk/sch/i.html?_odkw=chester+dra...

[Google [bot]]

Australians are the champions at this.

[funkyrobot]

schmunk said:

Chester drawers and walldrobe.

'Draws' instead of 'drawers'.

[ikarl]

there's a at my work who fits this well;

"hit the nail on the button"

&

"yeah, he's a straight talker, shoots from the hip, he calls a spade a shovel.."

Erm,..what?? a spade is not a shovel you fking moron.

[LivingTheDream]

daddy cool said:

Ikemi said:

"We're a blue ribbon company ..." when my colleague actually meant to say, "We're a blue chip company"

It would have been ok if you worked for a shipping company (and had just misheard "Riband").

..Or a chocolate bar company?

Although if the Guy actually worked for a company making ribbons for the Conservative party??

[Spice_Weasel]

My wife has come out with:

"The plates have turned"
"He's got his feet in a lot of pies"

Naturally, I do not let her forget these pearls of wisdom.

[boyse7en]

I like making them up just to see if people are listening.
Till staff at supermarkets are usually good, as they have a short window of opportunity for idle small talk.