How to murder a rooster
How to murder a rooster
Author
Discussion

moanthebairns

Original Poster:

19,166 posts

228 months

Sunday 6th March 2016
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So I write to you at 7am on a Sunday. I've got up made a boiled egg for me and the mrs, de iced her car, sent her to work and had my morning st, All because I've been up since 5:30 on a fking Sunday because the bding neighbours have bought a fking rooster.

Cock a fking doodle bding do at 5:30 till 6:30 this morning. Every bding twenty seconds.

Who the fk buys a bding rooster in a residential area.

Surprisingly the bding owners seem immune to it or they're not in when you go to there's to threaten it with ramming a fox up its arse.

So will a blanket over its pen cure it or will I have to take this big fking chicken out.

Here is the wee bding . He's still going. He's going to get a size nine samba right up his




I'm going to eat his liver with a side of roast tatties and Yorkshires


littleredrooster

6,412 posts

226 months

Sunday 6th March 2016
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I'm saying nowt...

blueg33

46,764 posts

254 months

Sunday 6th March 2016
quotequote all
Contact environmental health with a noise complaint.

moanthebairns

Original Poster:

19,166 posts

228 months

Sunday 6th March 2016
quotequote all
I thought about riding a squad of foxes into battle with "into the valley" blaring out my window, covered in chicken blood war paint and taking the wee out.


GAjon

4,103 posts

243 months

Sunday 6th March 2016
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You need to contact ACME, they've been dealing with these kind of problems for years.

IanA2

2,897 posts

192 months

Sunday 6th March 2016
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Yorkshires with chicken?

moanthebairns

Original Poster:

19,166 posts

228 months

Sunday 6th March 2016
quotequote all
No fking way they've bought two of the s.

Bodo

12,612 posts

296 months

Sunday 6th March 2016
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Worst my-neighbour's-cock-affects-our-sleep-post ever.

TBSC

138 posts

193 months

Sunday 6th March 2016
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If you think that bird is taking the piss, you need that book "to kill a mocking bird"
(Edited for stupidity)

Edited by TBSC on Sunday 6th March 08:28

Amused2death

2,526 posts

226 months

Sunday 6th March 2016
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Get oven ready chicken, stick it on fence, tell rooster "This is what happened to the last one that woke me up"

ApOrbital

10,592 posts

148 months

Sunday 6th March 2016
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Got one two doors up from me it starts at 4 am does not shut up until 3pm,I am going to shoot the fking annoying tt of a thing.

MarshPhantom

9,658 posts

167 months

Sunday 6th March 2016
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Do an Ozzy Osborne - shotgun plus fire.

moanthebairns

Original Poster:

19,166 posts

228 months

Sunday 6th March 2016
quotequote all
There's fking 3 of them!!! They just keep popping out this wee pen. What the fk.

The owner has been spoken to there is a blanket going on tonight "too noisy were they". If not they will need to go in his shed.

This is falkirk the only thing that should keep me up is the soothing glow of the BP flare stack

Negative Creep

26,116 posts

257 months

Sunday 6th March 2016
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blueg33 said:
Contact environmental health with a noise complaint.
This, if you are in an urban area then I can see why you're so annoyed. Or



It's four in the morning you cockadoole *beep*!

ApOrbital

10,592 posts

148 months

Sunday 6th March 2016
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If they do not have any other pets chuck rat poison over the fence and taunt it with frozen sausages.

PapaJohns

1,064 posts

183 months

Sunday 6th March 2016
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A pet ferret or 2

HTP99

25,362 posts

170 months

Sunday 6th March 2016
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Next door had a rooster and hens, I never actually knew he had a rooster until he popped round and said that the hens and rooster had gone because the owners of the house that his garden backed onto had made a complaint to environmental health about the noise; remember I am next door and didn't even know he had a rooster; bit gutted as no more fresh eggs for us.

moanthebairns

Original Poster:

19,166 posts

228 months

Sunday 6th March 2016
quotequote all
I don't mind them making a noise after 8 or 9 that's fine. But it's not like me starting my bike early on and disappearing for the rest of the day.

Three of them are in a tiny pen. I don't agree with that.

I'll give him another night. He can move that pen into the shed and get one so they can actually move about in his garden is my compromise. But judging on the way he keeps his children prisoner in his house he won't bother his arse.

russ_a

4,725 posts

241 months

Sunday 6th March 2016
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A shed will not block out the noise.

A friend of my Mrs gave us a "chicken", we moved the coop to the bottom of the garden in a shed and you could hear him at 3am.

In the end we swapped him for a sack of potatoes (and a £5 bribe) with an old chap with a farm.

fridgedoctor

220 posts

189 months

Sunday 6th March 2016
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Haven't you got a big noisy motorbike? Nice morning, surely it'll want its tits revving off?