Discussion
So, over the years we have all experienced the deaths of the famous and infamous
Until the latter part of last year I've acknowledged their passing, but not thought about it that much. On reflection it's probably been because the vast majority of these figures are from my (our) parent's generation.
These last few months, however, have really hit me harder than I thought possible! So many people have passed on that I have 'grown up with'! These are people from my own generation! I have followed their careers, I have enjoyed their music, I have even met and worked with some of them!
They are a major part of my life and now they are gone!
How dare they?!
They were supposed to be there forever!
If they were really mere mortals, what hope do we have?
It's brought reality to me with a bump
Am I alone in thinking like this?
Until the latter part of last year I've acknowledged their passing, but not thought about it that much. On reflection it's probably been because the vast majority of these figures are from my (our) parent's generation.
These last few months, however, have really hit me harder than I thought possible! So many people have passed on that I have 'grown up with'! These are people from my own generation! I have followed their careers, I have enjoyed their music, I have even met and worked with some of them!
They are a major part of my life and now they are gone!
How dare they?!
They were supposed to be there forever!
If they were really mere mortals, what hope do we have?
It's brought reality to me with a bump
Am I alone in thinking like this?
PoleDriver said:
Am I alone in thinking like this?
No you are not alone in this Poley. Finding out (nearly 12 years ago) a dear friend from school had died a year earlier was a tough one; she had two young sons I've only really thought about it in depth since my fil died in 2012 (Mrs Champers will, I think, never properly get over that) and my own parents are 86 and 81, so Mr Reaper will inevitably be part of my life again, in the not too distant future
I do think that so long as things are in the "right" order, all is as is meant; better to mourn a parent, than to mourn a child, eh?
It's best to make your peace with yourself.
I have.
I know I've been very fortunate to have lived a relatively easy life.
Relative to 99% of the people on the planet in my view.
I'd love to spend many a year with my wife but if I go, then that's the way it will be and there's bugger all I can do about it. We've done our best to look after each other, it won't be perfect but it will have to do. She's strong, she'll cope.
If she goes, I'll do my best. I'll owe her that.
I'm cool with that.
I have.
I know I've been very fortunate to have lived a relatively easy life.
Relative to 99% of the people on the planet in my view.
I'd love to spend many a year with my wife but if I go, then that's the way it will be and there's bugger all I can do about it. We've done our best to look after each other, it won't be perfect but it will have to do. She's strong, she'll cope.
If she goes, I'll do my best. I'll owe her that.
I'm cool with that.
Edited by Mothersruin on Saturday 12th March 22:57
My dad died at 8 in very tragic circumstances. From that point I realised death is part of life and O.K. I don't live it to the full as people always say, but I don't expect to live forever either, I just try not to get hung up on people dying I know nothing about really, when you can focus on the positives from life.
Edited by The Spruce goose on Sunday 13th March 03:38
I'm far from uncaring but after losing my folks - 79 and 83 - in the space of 5 years I have a life is life and dead is death approach to things,
I was lucky enough to be able to talk through death with my Dad long before he got old and I'll. I liked his philosophy. It's as natural as unusual and as mysterious as being born. The great leveler where class or position or good or bad doesn't matter.
I too however have 'felt' recent high profile deaths. Terry Wogan for example. Part of that wallpaper in your life.
Like a lot of people of my generation (Born 1970) I grew up surrounded by older generations with their 'During the war.....' Stories. I so wish I'd paid more attention to them.
My wife's an artist and she's doing a project that involves war graves. We spent time yesterday photographing some locally. All that young life made me a little tearful, especially the graves of two teenage Wrens. They never got to tell their 'During the war...' Stories to bored spoilt kids 30 or 40 years later. It makes me feel guilty grateful and sad in equal measure.
I was lucky enough to be able to talk through death with my Dad long before he got old and I'll. I liked his philosophy. It's as natural as unusual and as mysterious as being born. The great leveler where class or position or good or bad doesn't matter.
I too however have 'felt' recent high profile deaths. Terry Wogan for example. Part of that wallpaper in your life.
Like a lot of people of my generation (Born 1970) I grew up surrounded by older generations with their 'During the war.....' Stories. I so wish I'd paid more attention to them.
My wife's an artist and she's doing a project that involves war graves. We spent time yesterday photographing some locally. All that young life made me a little tearful, especially the graves of two teenage Wrens. They never got to tell their 'During the war...' Stories to bored spoilt kids 30 or 40 years later. It makes me feel guilty grateful and sad in equal measure.
I think I started thinking about it around the age of 26, a friend that I was close to when I was younger died in a cycling accident.
I hadn't seen him for a good few years but as it is these days I kept up to date on his adventures on facebook.
He used to travel a lot, was very big into biking (road and off) loved nature etc and then one day he was doing an organised bike race and a van hit a group of them head on. He was taken to hospital but was essentially brain dead I believe, so his family elected to turn off the life support. He had literally ticked every box on the organ donor list so I have no doubt he saved or improved peoples lives with that decision.
For me death is quite interesting, I hope this doesn't sound strange but I really wonder what it's like?
I don't believe in god etc and am unsure on an afterlife so it's the unanswered questions I want to know about, for me the biggest fear is the loss of my parents and my partner. I've seen my parents lose theirs and I have friends who have lost their parents too and the grief appears to unimaginable, unfortunately it's something everyone will experience.
I hadn't seen him for a good few years but as it is these days I kept up to date on his adventures on facebook.
He used to travel a lot, was very big into biking (road and off) loved nature etc and then one day he was doing an organised bike race and a van hit a group of them head on. He was taken to hospital but was essentially brain dead I believe, so his family elected to turn off the life support. He had literally ticked every box on the organ donor list so I have no doubt he saved or improved peoples lives with that decision.
For me death is quite interesting, I hope this doesn't sound strange but I really wonder what it's like?
I don't believe in god etc and am unsure on an afterlife so it's the unanswered questions I want to know about, for me the biggest fear is the loss of my parents and my partner. I've seen my parents lose theirs and I have friends who have lost their parents too and the grief appears to unimaginable, unfortunately it's something everyone will experience.
In the last few years I have had to come to terms with the fact that it is my generation that is passing on now. Both my parents have gone, but in the last couple of years a good friend and also my well loved brother-in-law have passed.
It is definitely a change in one's thinking. Lets you know you should have your affairs in order so that your loved ones won't have a difficult time when you pass.
Having been an Executor for a will I now really understand the b
ks you have to go through and how much help the person passing can be (prior to their death) in setting things up to be easy.
It is definitely a change in one's thinking. Lets you know you should have your affairs in order so that your loved ones won't have a difficult time when you pass.
Having been an Executor for a will I now really understand the b
ks you have to go through and how much help the person passing can be (prior to their death) in setting things up to be easy.I can't say I've ever been scared of death but I am terrified of it stinging.
In my mind once people are gone, they're gone. I appreciate and remember them but continue moving on.
I've known a few people who are tormented by deaths that occurred 15 or more years ago and that seems like a tragic way to scupper what time is left.
In my mind once people are gone, they're gone. I appreciate and remember them but continue moving on.
I've known a few people who are tormented by deaths that occurred 15 or more years ago and that seems like a tragic way to scupper what time is left.
Edited by bloomen on Sunday 13th March 10:20
Don said:
In the last few years I have had to come to terms with the fact that it is my generation that is passing on now. Both my parents have gone, but in the last couple of years a good friend and also my well loved brother-in-law have passed.
It is definitely a change in one's thinking. Lets you know you should have your affairs in order so that your loved ones won't have a difficult time when you pass.
Having been an Executor for a will I now really understand the bks you have to go through and how much help the person passing can be (prior to their death) in setting things up to be easy.
So true. After my mim's death I found a file wil all the important stuff there. Her life and home were pretty chaotic - illness and alcohol - but everything I needed to know to sort stuff out was there.It is definitely a change in one's thinking. Lets you know you should have your affairs in order so that your loved ones won't have a difficult time when you pass.
Having been an Executor for a will I now really understand the b
ks you have to go through and how much help the person passing can be (prior to their death) in setting things up to be easy.I mentioned this here recently but my aunt - who was not the most popular person in our family - did the greatest thing. Everything and I mean everything was sorted by her prior to her death. Even the disposal of her body. Cremation, no funeral. She cleared away every mouse end and I - being her only relative in the UK - am grateful for that.
TwigtheWonderkid said:
ZOLLAR said:
For me death is quite interesting, I hope this doesn't sound strange but I really wonder what it's like?
You know how you felt for those billions of years before you were born.....like that.
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