How old is too old to parent
How old is too old to parent
Author
Discussion

uk_vette

Original Poster:

3,336 posts

235 months

Monday 14th March 2016
quotequote all
Hi all,

My wife and I have been planning a family for a few years.
However, she had a medical condition that prevented us from starting our family.
Now this condition is completely out of the way, there is no reason for her not to come off the contraception, and for me to do my seeding.

The thing is, I feel that I am getting older, and have 3 children all grown up from previous marriage.
Eldest is 35 'ish.

So is 59 too old to start with nappies again, my wife really wants, and has said she would be more than happy with just one little one running around the house.

To add, I am fit, healthy, no medications etc.

RDMcG

20,908 posts

238 months

Monday 14th March 2016
quotequote all
uk_vette said:
Hi all,

My wife and I have been planning a family for a few years.
However, she had a medical condition that prevented us from starting our family.
Now this condition is completely out of the way, there is no reason for her not to come off the contraception, and for me to do my seeding.

The thing is, I feel that I am getting older, and have 3 children all grown up from previous marriage.
Eldest is 35 'ish.

So is 59 too old to start with nappies again, my wife really wants, and has said she would be more than happy with just one little one running around the house.

To add, I am fit, healthy, no medications etc.
I would say it is very dependent on your financial situation. At 59, if you project forward, the child could arrive at 60 for you. So, at 75, your child would be 15 and in university you are facing 80. If your wife has a good career or you have a significant post retirement income, then you might be able to do it. I have a friend who has done this, and the financial burdens are not insignificant

GT03ROB

14,033 posts

252 months

Monday 14th March 2016
quotequote all
I believe it is too old. You are at the stage in life you should be enjoying your relationship with your wife as a couple, not as a family. However if she strongly wants a child, then that may not be possible, as it sounds she is much younger than you, so at a different stage in her life.

The idea of being tied for the next 18 years at 59 does not sound a good idea to me. You will be nearly 80 when you a free to do what you want with your wife. Think about it.

My perspective, but I can be selfish.

bayleaf

285 posts

130 months

Monday 14th March 2016
quotequote all
'Seeding'.

steve2

1,870 posts

249 months

Monday 14th March 2016
quotequote all
How old is your wife ?, I am 55 and no way would i want a child now

smifffymoto

5,186 posts

236 months

Monday 14th March 2016
quotequote all
I agree with the others,too old.
If you pop your clogs at 80 your child will be 20,who will offer support and guidance to your child.

I know you are an adult at 20 but you still need advice from parents,some one to bounce ideas off.

anonymous-user

85 months

Monday 14th March 2016
quotequote all




A diagram sometimes helps. hehe

Rick101

7,191 posts

181 months

Monday 14th March 2016
quotequote all
Too old in my opinion.

My dad was 'older' and we weren't close. Didn't enjoy the same things. Found it somewhat embarrassing if i'm honest.
He was around 52/53 when I was born I think.

What do your kids think?

Jasandjules

72,676 posts

260 months

Monday 14th March 2016
quotequote all
How old is your wife?


0000

13,966 posts

222 months

Monday 14th March 2016
quotequote all
You never know what's going to happen whenever you decide to have a child, but I'd be too worried about bringing up a child who was going to lose their father at a relatively young age (YMMV). Not judging though, it's not easy.

hornetrider

63,161 posts

236 months

Monday 14th March 2016
quotequote all
Difficult one this as don't want to offend, I suspect the wife is a much younger model with a desire for children? At 59 everyone will think you are the grandparent and by the time the child is in it's teens you will be entering, to be blunt, your twilight years. Do you want that?

Petrol Only

1,611 posts

206 months

Monday 14th March 2016
quotequote all
Way way to old.

I lost my dad at 62 me (26) being an only child it was very tough for couple of years. Wouldn't want to be any younger dealing with that.

How's your long term health looking?

Blaster72

12,706 posts

228 months

Monday 14th March 2016
quotequote all
el stovey said:




A diagram sometimes helps. hehe
You know the times when you understand exactly what you mean but no one else does? Well this is one of them.

confused

hornetrider

63,161 posts

236 months

Monday 14th March 2016
quotequote all
Blaster72 said:
el stovey said:




A diagram sometimes helps. hehe
You know the times when you understand exactly what you mean but no one else does? Well this is one of them.

confused
I'm presuming it's a visual representation of how much life he has had - and how much is left. He's lived 3/4 of his time on earth most likely - to be blunt.

PurpleMoonlight

22,362 posts

188 months

Monday 14th March 2016
quotequote all
I know someone who had a second family in his mid/late 50's.

He said it was much easier at this age as there isn't the life/career pressures as when it was in his 20's/30's.

If you can afford it, you are healthy, you see yourself being around for the next 20 odd years and it's something you want to do then go for it.

Tony 1234

3,465 posts

258 months

Monday 14th March 2016
quotequote all
Far to old (sorry OP) it's not fair on the child to lose a parent at a young age, you could only last another 10 years, you don't know what will happen to your health in the future.

My new wife and I had a child when I was 40 and I thought that was to old really.

toon10

7,152 posts

188 months

Monday 14th March 2016
quotequote all
It's up to you and your Mrs of course but at that age, life is enjoyable because you have more disposable income and lots of freedom. Fancy a city break at short notice, no problem. Sports car, yup. I'd think long and hard before giving that up! I'm 41 and my 2nd son was born at the end of December after a 15 year gap. We've had one night out in that time, a dinner party with friends and we had to take baby with us as we got let down. He's gorgeous and I don't regret having him but the selfish part of me sometimes thinks how much easier life was before (especially at 4am).


Brigand

2,547 posts

200 months

Monday 14th March 2016
quotequote all
I'd say it was far too old to be bringing children up. I remember when I was at primary school I had a friend who's parents must have been well into their fifties, and it made it look like he lived with his grandparents. No idea why but it made me feel odd, something which has stuck with me today as at thirty-three I'm getting itchy feet to have kids so that I don't end up in the same situation.

Probably says more about me though rather than an opinion, and may come from the fact my parents had me when they were very early twenties so were very young in comparison.

anonymous-user

85 months

Monday 14th March 2016
quotequote all
Blaster72 said:
You know the times when you understand exactly what you mean but no one else does? Well this is one of them.

confused
Sorry thought it was pretty straight forward, hehe

it's a chart showing a human lifespan in years and one in months. I've shown how far the op is along it for both. Those are the green boxes.

Sometimes seeing time laid out like this, or in a calendar can help people plan stuff better.


Robbo 27

4,304 posts

130 months

Monday 14th March 2016
quotequote all
My parents were 40 when I was born and I think that was too old, they would disagree. I repeated their mistake and adopted at 44 and that was a bad idea, she is grown up now and away.

You may have special abilities and more patience than I have but it really isnt easy and even on the child not having younger parents.

But good luck in whatever you decide.