Doing stuff with work colleagues outside of work
Discussion
Every now and again there will be some sort of work function that I'm invited to. For the most part I don't want to go, not because I hate the people but because I feel I see enough of them in the office, thus leading me to either make up some excuse or just go anyway. Fortunately whether I go or not doesn't affect my job in anyway but I still don't want hurt people's feelings.
Years ago I was looking to get recruitment. I never persuaded it having gone into other sales roles but looking back I'm glad I didn't, having to entertain clients would fill me with dread.
Is it just me or does anyone else feel the same?
Years ago I was looking to get recruitment. I never persuaded it having gone into other sales roles but looking back I'm glad I didn't, having to entertain clients would fill me with dread.
Is it just me or does anyone else feel the same?
not really...
My job as consultant means that I sometimes end up out of my comfort zone and in a different country, at the moment I have left my comfort zone of London (10 years) and am in Sydney for 6+ months.
Don't have much chance to make new friends so I spend time with colleagues that have come to the country too.
Has its plus side and down sides, at the moment Im spearfishing and rock fishing most spare days which is something brand new and fun for me... downside is I sometimes would like alone time to chill and read a book, not getting that at the moment.
My job as consultant means that I sometimes end up out of my comfort zone and in a different country, at the moment I have left my comfort zone of London (10 years) and am in Sydney for 6+ months.
Don't have much chance to make new friends so I spend time with colleagues that have come to the country too.
Has its plus side and down sides, at the moment Im spearfishing and rock fishing most spare days which is something brand new and fun for me... downside is I sometimes would like alone time to chill and read a book, not getting that at the moment.
I make this a rule regardless of how friendly I am with them at work, I don't make up excuses though, I just say "No, I dont want to".
The only exception might be to go to a leaving doo of someone I got on with particularly well.
Yes I'm an antisocial prick but eventually everyone accepts it. I'm just not interested in what they are doing.
The only exception might be to go to a leaving doo of someone I got on with particularly well.
Yes I'm an antisocial prick but eventually everyone accepts it. I'm just not interested in what they are doing.
Edited by grim_d on Sunday 27th March 07:36
I will go out for a meal or a drink with my colleagues from my department; there are only 4 of us, sometimes if a couple of departments go out I'll go too, just relaxed stuff like a curry or a couple after work.
I don't go to the big Christmas do's though, where the whole of the company go, I find it too formal and arse licky; our MD can be an arse and I think; if you don't do xyz for me then why should I do this for you and the fact that one is expected to go just makes me less want to go, he also takes it personally if you don't go; I think just get over yourself and think of the £100 he is saving with me not going.
I don't go to the big Christmas do's though, where the whole of the company go, I find it too formal and arse licky; our MD can be an arse and I think; if you don't do xyz for me then why should I do this for you and the fact that one is expected to go just makes me less want to go, he also takes it personally if you don't go; I think just get over yourself and think of the £100 he is saving with me not going.
Edited by HTP99 on Sunday 27th March 09:04
If it was a team meal or an outing then yes I will join in if I can as it's good to socialise.
If it was going out every weekend and getting hammered with people I work with all week then probably not. I find it good to split home and work life. I also have a young child so I really can't go out getting hammered all the time..
If it was going out every weekend and getting hammered with people I work with all week then probably not. I find it good to split home and work life. I also have a young child so I really can't go out getting hammered all the time..
I'll go to staff leaving/retirement functions, and normally the Christmas do. Someone did mention that the staff should meet socially more often. And I thought, why? The majority of folk in my place have worked together for years, so by this time either get on okay, or dislike each other. I doubt a meal and a drink is going to aid any friendship.
As I get older I seem to be less enthusiastic about going to work social events, and it's not that I particularly dislike any colleagues, I just spend 5 days a week, 8hours a day with them as it is. Plus there will always be the few who want to talk about work on a night out! If I am out with friends, work is never normally mentioned.
We had a project on a couple of years ago where a good proportion of the staff had to work away at various times during the year. This involved many of us staying in the same hotel and generally socialising in the evening, a meal and a couple of drinks. It was absolutely fine, but the novelty had worn off after various travels after 12 months. The end stint was 3 weeks long and I think we were glad to see the back of each other by the end. So the appeal of going out for a meal with them when back home has diminished a bit.
My other pet hate is when a works do is organised, is being expected to go and being interrogated why you aren't going. In my opinion details should go up on the noticeboard, those interested put their name down and that should be an end of it.
As I get older I seem to be less enthusiastic about going to work social events, and it's not that I particularly dislike any colleagues, I just spend 5 days a week, 8hours a day with them as it is. Plus there will always be the few who want to talk about work on a night out! If I am out with friends, work is never normally mentioned.
We had a project on a couple of years ago where a good proportion of the staff had to work away at various times during the year. This involved many of us staying in the same hotel and generally socialising in the evening, a meal and a couple of drinks. It was absolutely fine, but the novelty had worn off after various travels after 12 months. The end stint was 3 weeks long and I think we were glad to see the back of each other by the end. So the appeal of going out for a meal with them when back home has diminished a bit.
My other pet hate is when a works do is organised, is being expected to go and being interrogated why you aren't going. In my opinion details should go up on the noticeboard, those interested put their name down and that should be an end of it.
Generally socialising is down to promotion or leaving drinks (the latter sometimes triggered by not getting the former...
), or the main Christmas 'do', which I generally only go to every other year.When I'm travelling with colleagues we'll usually have a meal together, and actually it can be interesting finding out what people do outside of work, or in previous jobs. One of my colleagues climbs mountains, and another is a semi-professional Indian dancer / teacher.
And a couple of weeks back a few of us went to see a colleagues husband and daughter who play in a band and were playing at the 100 Club on Oxford Street - we had a meal beforehand, talked a bit about work but not much, and generally had a really good evening. Not something we'd do all the time, but nice to do it from time to time.
But generally I try to separate work and social life - I work too many hours and do too much travelling as it is, so it's nice to be home and (try to...) forget about work for a bit.
At my job interview,9 years ago,for my current job,I was told about the occasional nights out with colleagues.
I just thought,"that's ok,everyone gets on"but it was so far from the truth.
There's not been a single "do" in those 9 years and many people don't get on with others.
Off topic but surprisingly the staff turnover is very low considering the atmosphere around the place.
I just thought,"that's ok,everyone gets on"but it was so far from the truth.
There's not been a single "do" in those 9 years and many people don't get on with others.
Off topic but surprisingly the staff turnover is very low considering the atmosphere around the place.
I'll go to work Christmas parties and things like that, but when it comes to going bowling and other random nights out, I'll usually give it a miss.
My wife is a teacher and all of the teachers in her department have been told that they must go to the leavers party for the students, where they can't drink, have to stay until 11.30pm and don't get paid, plus have to pay £40 for the ticket. My wife is pregnant, is usually asleep by 10pm and as we are about to start building our own place, money is tight. A couple of the other teachers have said that they don't have the money for the ticket, but they have been told they'll have to find it. Seems a bit out of order to me.
My wife is a teacher and all of the teachers in her department have been told that they must go to the leavers party for the students, where they can't drink, have to stay until 11.30pm and don't get paid, plus have to pay £40 for the ticket. My wife is pregnant, is usually asleep by 10pm and as we are about to start building our own place, money is tight. A couple of the other teachers have said that they don't have the money for the ticket, but they have been told they'll have to find it. Seems a bit out of order to me.
grim_d said:
I make this a rule regardless of how friendly I am with them at work, I don't make up excuses though, I just say "No, I dont want to".
The only exception might be to go to a leaving doo of someone I got on with particularly well.
Yes I'm an antisocial prick but eventually everyone accepts it. I'm just not interested in what they are doing.
I wish I could be so blunt that but I would feel uncomfortable in saying so. The only exception might be to go to a leaving doo of someone I got on with particularly well.
Yes I'm an antisocial prick but eventually everyone accepts it. I'm just not interested in what they are doing.
Edited by grim_d on Sunday 27th March 07:36
opieoilman said:
I'll go to work Christmas parties and things like that, but when it comes to going bowling and other random nights out, I'll usually give it a miss.
My wife is a teacher and all of the teachers in her department have been told that they must go to the leavers party for the students, where they can't drink, have to stay until 11.30pm and don't get paid, plus have to pay £40 for the ticket. My wife is pregnant, is usually asleep by 10pm and as we are about to start building our own place, money is tight. A couple of the other teachers have said that they don't have the money for the ticket, but they have been told they'll have to find it. Seems a bit out of order to me.
WTF! £40 a ticket with no pay is outrageous. Surely they can't uphold that?My wife is a teacher and all of the teachers in her department have been told that they must go to the leavers party for the students, where they can't drink, have to stay until 11.30pm and don't get paid, plus have to pay £40 for the ticket. My wife is pregnant, is usually asleep by 10pm and as we are about to start building our own place, money is tight. A couple of the other teachers have said that they don't have the money for the ticket, but they have been told they'll have to find it. Seems a bit out of order to me.
Obi Wan said:
opieoilman said:
I'll go to work Christmas parties and things like that, but when it comes to going bowling and other random nights out, I'll usually give it a miss.
My wife is a teacher and all of the teachers in her department have been told that they must go to the leavers party for the students, where they can't drink, have to stay until 11.30pm and don't get paid, plus have to pay £40 for the ticket. My wife is pregnant, is usually asleep by 10pm and as we are about to start building our own place, money is tight. A couple of the other teachers have said that they don't have the money for the ticket, but they have been told they'll have to find it. Seems a bit out of order to me.
WTF! £40 a ticket with no pay is outrageous. Surely they can't uphold that?My wife is a teacher and all of the teachers in her department have been told that they must go to the leavers party for the students, where they can't drink, have to stay until 11.30pm and don't get paid, plus have to pay £40 for the ticket. My wife is pregnant, is usually asleep by 10pm and as we are about to start building our own place, money is tight. A couple of the other teachers have said that they don't have the money for the ticket, but they have been told they'll have to find it. Seems a bit out of order to me.
Being told you HAVE to attend and MUST pay £40?? Not a chance.
Edited by 21TonyK on Sunday 27th March 18:29
opieoilman said:
I'll go to work Christmas parties and things like that, but when it comes to going bowling and other random nights out, I'll usually give it a miss.
My wife is a teacher and all of the teachers in her department have been told that they must go to the leavers party for the students, where they can't drink, have to stay until 11.30pm and don't get paid, plus have to pay £40 for the ticket. My wife is pregnant, is usually asleep by 10pm and as we are about to start building our own place, money is tight. A couple of the other teachers have said that they don't have the money for the ticket, but they have been told they'll have to find it. Seems a bit out of order to me.
They would be told in no uncertain terms that I wouldn't be attending on that basis. What can they do? I doubt such nonsense is in her contract.My wife is a teacher and all of the teachers in her department have been told that they must go to the leavers party for the students, where they can't drink, have to stay until 11.30pm and don't get paid, plus have to pay £40 for the ticket. My wife is pregnant, is usually asleep by 10pm and as we are about to start building our own place, money is tight. A couple of the other teachers have said that they don't have the money for the ticket, but they have been told they'll have to find it. Seems a bit out of order to me.
Obi Wan said:
Every now and again there will be some sort of work function that I'm invited to. For the most part I don't want to go, not because I hate the people but because I feel I see enough of them in the office, thus leading me to either make up some excuse or just go anyway. Fortunately whether I go or not doesn't affect my job in anyway but I still don't want hurt people's feelings.
Years ago I was looking to get recruitment. I never persuaded it having gone into other sales roles but looking back I'm glad I didn't, having to entertain clients would fill me with dread.
Is it just me or does anyone else feel the same?
Weird concept here, I know, but wouldn't it be slightly better to judge on whether or not you generally get on with said people, rather than how much time you spend with them Mon-Fri?Years ago I was looking to get recruitment. I never persuaded it having gone into other sales roles but looking back I'm glad I didn't, having to entertain clients would fill me with dread.
Is it just me or does anyone else feel the same?
If you don't, fair enough. If you kinda, but not really, you do the right thing. If you do, work time is of no importance.
I've spent decent amounts of time with people I work with and been perfectly happy to do so. With some it is a better than expected obligation, others total choice.
That I might work with them rather a lot on school days is a complete irrelevance.
I would say that rightly or wrongly, it doesn't help career aspirations if you're overly anti-social. Bigger picture.
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff