Does marriage mean sharing existing assets?
Discussion
My best mate (really!) has met a much younger woman and promptly impreganted her. She already has two primary school age children from a previous marriage.
I suspect he will do the honourable thing and marry her, but does that immediately means she shares in his capital should the wheel come off the mariage in a few years?
I realise that he will have a responsibility to maintain his sproglet should the worse happen but he has about £300K of capital in his house and in an expected inheroitance when his elderly mother passes on. Does she get a crack at that too?
I have a interest in it beyond simple friendship, for reasons too complex to cover here, I am not just being nosey/interfering.
I was almost engaged to my ex who insisted that all of my assets be split equally with her when we married. That was the reason we broke up.
Now i have a fair size property portfolio, and she was a dental hygene therapist on good money so she wasnt a gold digger, she just had a twisted view on what marriage was and i couldnt trust her not to pull the plug and rinse me via the courts.
Im of the view that anything aquired whilst together then yeah fair game and if kids involved then make sure they are well looked after too but to insist on half of my business that ive taken over a decade to buld up just because of some ridiculous thought of entitlement is just bordering on insane.
Now i have a fair size property portfolio, and she was a dental hygene therapist on good money so she wasnt a gold digger, she just had a twisted view on what marriage was and i couldnt trust her not to pull the plug and rinse me via the courts.
Im of the view that anything aquired whilst together then yeah fair game and if kids involved then make sure they are well looked after too but to insist on half of my business that ive taken over a decade to buld up just because of some ridiculous thought of entitlement is just bordering on insane.
Edited by dazwalsh on Sunday 27th March 21:18
Why would he marry her if he didn't want to?
Look after the kid, no need to marry the woman involved. Kids are significantly expensive.
Edited to add:if he gives a f
k about money it would have been preferable not to have created a baby. Marriage will further complicate the financial story.
Look after the kid, no need to marry the woman involved. Kids are significantly expensive.
Edited to add:if he gives a f
k about money it would have been preferable not to have created a baby. Marriage will further complicate the financial story.Edited by anonymous-user on Sunday 27th March 23:54
dazwalsh said:
I was almost engaged to my ex who insisted that all of my assets be split equally with her when we married. That was the reason we broke up.
Now i have a fair size property portfolio, and she was a dental hygene therapist on good money so she wasnt a gold digger, she just had a twisted view on what marriage was and i couldnt trust her not to pull the plug and rinse me via the courts.
Im of the view that anything aquired whilst together then yeah fair game and if kids involved then make sure they are well looked after too but to insist on half of my business that ive taken over a decade to buld up just because of some ridiculous thought of entitlement is just bordering on insane.
I can see why your relationship didn't work out. I agree with her by the way. My Mrs owns half my stuff. It's a partnership. You were starting off the relationship trying to make her feel like the unequal partner, no wonder she was pissedoff with you. Now i have a fair size property portfolio, and she was a dental hygene therapist on good money so she wasnt a gold digger, she just had a twisted view on what marriage was and i couldnt trust her not to pull the plug and rinse me via the courts.
Im of the view that anything aquired whilst together then yeah fair game and if kids involved then make sure they are well looked after too but to insist on half of my business that ive taken over a decade to buld up just because of some ridiculous thought of entitlement is just bordering on insane.
Edited by dazwalsh on Sunday 27th March 21:18
el stovey said:
I can see why your relationship didn't work out. I agree with her by the way. My Mrs owns half my stuff. It's a partnership. You're starting off the relationship trying to make her feel the unequal partner.
In an ideal world I would agree with you but with the divorce rate as high as it is I can understand people being concerned especially if it's later in life and you've spent years building what you've got.Why should you have to give all that away if it goes tits up in a couple of years? If I got with a wealthy woman right now and it didn't work out I wouldn't feel as though I was entitled to half of what she already had.
BrownBottle said:
In an ideal world I would agree with you but with the divorce rate as high as it is I can understand people being concerned especially if it's later in life and you've spent years building what you've got.
Why should you have to give all that away if it goes tits up in a couple of years? If I got with a wealthy woman right now and it didn't work out I wouldn't feel as though I was entitled to half of what she already had.
Doesn't it then often become a self fulfilling prophecy? The marriage starts unequal, with one partner grasping all the cards and has less chance of succeeding? Why should you have to give all that away if it goes tits up in a couple of years? If I got with a wealthy woman right now and it didn't work out I wouldn't feel as though I was entitled to half of what she already had.
Each to their own but it doesn't sound like a partnership to me. Throw it all in, make it work.
dazwalsh said:
I was almost engaged to my ex who insisted that all of my assets be split equally with her when we married. That was the reason we broke up.
Now i have a fair size property portfolio, and she was a dental hygene therapist on good money so she wasnt a gold digger, she just had a twisted view on what marriage was and i couldnt trust her not to pull the plug and rinse me via the courts.
Im of the view that anything aquired whilst together then yeah fair game and if kids involved then make sure they are well looked after too but to insist on half of my business that ive taken over a decade to buld up just because of some ridiculous thought of entitlement is just bordering on insane.
Guessing the ex to whom you were almost engaged had a lucky escape . Are you "Tim nice but dim" by any chance ?Now i have a fair size property portfolio, and she was a dental hygene therapist on good money so she wasnt a gold digger, she just had a twisted view on what marriage was and i couldnt trust her not to pull the plug and rinse me via the courts.
Im of the view that anything aquired whilst together then yeah fair game and if kids involved then make sure they are well looked after too but to insist on half of my business that ive taken over a decade to buld up just because of some ridiculous thought of entitlement is just bordering on insane.
Edited by dazwalsh on Sunday 27th March 21:18
Adam B said:
Having recently consulted a lawyer if he gets married then yes she can have a crack at half his money, inheritance, pension etc and if she has his child she has a good chance of getting it.
If he can't afford to do that then don't get into it or get her pregnant.... Oh
Basically this.If he can't afford to do that then don't get into it or get her pregnant.... Oh
She will have no 'honour' when she tries to take everything in a few years time.
He should not marry her.
el stovey said:
BrownBottle said:
In an ideal world I would agree with you but with the divorce rate as high as it is I can understand people being concerned especially if it's later in life and you've spent years building what you've got.
Why should you have to give all that away if it goes tits up in a couple of years? If I got with a wealthy woman right now and it didn't work out I wouldn't feel as though I was entitled to half of what she already had.
Doesn't it then often become a self fulfilling prophecy? The marriage starts unequal, with one partner grasping all the cards and has less chance of succeeding? Why should you have to give all that away if it goes tits up in a couple of years? If I got with a wealthy woman right now and it didn't work out I wouldn't feel as though I was entitled to half of what she already had.
Each to their own but it doesn't sound like a partnership to me. Throw it all in, make it work.
Then why if they break up (without the children factor) is the OH now wanting an unequal share back or 50% of everything?
I shall counsel him to think long and hard before marriage. He is due to retire in 2 years with a decent pension, has his own house/car with not much of a mortgage and his expectation of inheritance within the next 10 years is high given his mother's age(81).
The complication is that his mother lives with us and has equity in our house, so when she goes he will inherit part of our house. We had a gentlemen's agreement that he would wait for his share until we retire but obviously a divorce layer may see that differently.
The complication is that his mother lives with us and has equity in our house, so when she goes he will inherit part of our house. We had a gentlemen's agreement that he would wait for his share until we retire but obviously a divorce layer may see that differently.
Cogcog said:
I shall counsel him to think long and hard before marriage. He is due to retire in 2 years with a decent pension, has his own house/car with not much of a mortgage and his expectation of inheritance within the next 10 years is high given his mother's age(81).
The complication is that his mother lives with us and has equity in our house, so when she goes he will inherit part of our house. We had a gentlemen's agreement that he would wait for his share until we retire but obviously a divorce layer may see that differently.
I assume that you mean your MIL lives in your house and he's is your best friend via your marriage as in BIL?The complication is that his mother lives with us and has equity in our house, so when she goes he will inherit part of our house. We had a gentlemen's agreement that he would wait for his share until we retire but obviously a divorce layer may see that differently.
Was a bit weird to work out.
Was it you that was doing a renovation of a large house to put a new wing on it for the MIL?
grumbledoak said:
Cogcog said:
My best mate (really!) has met a much younger woman and promptly impreganted her. She already has two primary school age children from a previous marriage.
Any marriage is moot.Being unmarried he is responsible to pay something along the lines of 15% of his income to the mum as child support, he has no 'legal' obligation beyond that unless he wants to.
Being married and having a kid means he now becomes liable not just for the kid but for the wife as well. So it's 15% plus whatever she decides is needed to keep her in the style to which she has become accustomed.
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