The perils of international love... Advice please folks!
Discussion
Right, here goes (Throws self to the wolves).
I've been travelling around the world for 10 months now. I'm bloody knackered as well as anything else! The winds of fate blew me to St. Petersburg where I met a fantastic British woman. Long story short, our paths entwined and we spent the next 2 months travelling together around Russia, Mongolia and China. More than friends, we became very close but both knew that our ways would part soon.
We parted ways in HK, she had a teaching job to go to in South Korea and I had lots more world to see. Neither of us expected to stay anything other than friends, despite a really intense 2 months together. Not just standard holiday romance, but close. We had some really tough times together trying to get to out-of-the way places in China and Mongolia, so it certainly wasn't all rose tinted spectacles.
Long story short, my path was already set to South America but since then we've talked over Skype and have been messaging every day. We have strong mutual feelings for each other, and want to give it a go together. It's difficult to explain without sounding cheesy, but we're seriously good together.
Here's the issue. Whilst in South America I applied for, and unexpectedly got, a 'voluntary' job teaching English in the Galápagos Islands for a 6 month contract. Long story short, I'm here, and it's ace. The stipend more than covers my daily outgoings, the teaching is great and it's generally a good life. I have a fantastic 3 bed house free which I share with a Canadian. I could probably extend for another 6 months.
Our discussions earlier in the year seemed to indicate that she was staying on for another year in Korea, so I applied for the Government teaching scheme there. I've got a place provided I send in some documents soon (Already DHL'd to the UK 60 quid. Ouch). This would start on Sept 26th.
This means cutting short my time here by 2 months at least. I'm not 100% convinced that the teaching in Korea (All elementary kids) will suit me long term, but might be OK for a year.
I had considered deferring Korea until Feb, but with the job situation there this might make it difficult. I've suggested to Sarah that she comes here at the end of her contract (Oct) which she is mulling over.
Whatever to do? I don't know what I'll kick myself more over. Part of me thinks that effectively giving up one of the best women I've met would be bonkers, but then I have the chance to potentially live in paradise for a year...
I've been travelling around the world for 10 months now. I'm bloody knackered as well as anything else! The winds of fate blew me to St. Petersburg where I met a fantastic British woman. Long story short, our paths entwined and we spent the next 2 months travelling together around Russia, Mongolia and China. More than friends, we became very close but both knew that our ways would part soon.
We parted ways in HK, she had a teaching job to go to in South Korea and I had lots more world to see. Neither of us expected to stay anything other than friends, despite a really intense 2 months together. Not just standard holiday romance, but close. We had some really tough times together trying to get to out-of-the way places in China and Mongolia, so it certainly wasn't all rose tinted spectacles.
Long story short, my path was already set to South America but since then we've talked over Skype and have been messaging every day. We have strong mutual feelings for each other, and want to give it a go together. It's difficult to explain without sounding cheesy, but we're seriously good together.
Here's the issue. Whilst in South America I applied for, and unexpectedly got, a 'voluntary' job teaching English in the Galápagos Islands for a 6 month contract. Long story short, I'm here, and it's ace. The stipend more than covers my daily outgoings, the teaching is great and it's generally a good life. I have a fantastic 3 bed house free which I share with a Canadian. I could probably extend for another 6 months.
Our discussions earlier in the year seemed to indicate that she was staying on for another year in Korea, so I applied for the Government teaching scheme there. I've got a place provided I send in some documents soon (Already DHL'd to the UK 60 quid. Ouch). This would start on Sept 26th.
This means cutting short my time here by 2 months at least. I'm not 100% convinced that the teaching in Korea (All elementary kids) will suit me long term, but might be OK for a year.
I had considered deferring Korea until Feb, but with the job situation there this might make it difficult. I've suggested to Sarah that she comes here at the end of her contract (Oct) which she is mulling over.
Whatever to do? I don't know what I'll kick myself more over. Part of me thinks that effectively giving up one of the best women I've met would be bonkers, but then I have the chance to potentially live in paradise for a year...
jdw100 said:
If she's mulling....why not wait until the outcome of the mull? She might well decide to come and stay with you.
Send her lots of photos of the amazing life you are living there. That might help convince her...?
This... Send pic of you commuting to work stood atop a giant tortoise in a heroic manly pose - stripped to the waist obviously. What sane women could resist. Send her lots of photos of the amazing life you are living there. That might help convince her...?
Stay in the Galapagos and let her stay in Korea.
2 months you both spent alone in a foreign land made you both feel extremely strongly about each other, but it's not reality. If you go to Korea and hate it or realise she's not the one you'll resent her and kick yourself for leaving somewhere you're happy. If you convince her to leave, same risks for her.
Keep communicating and when you finish your travels, see how it pans out. Living a quiet normal life wherever you settle is the true test of a relationship, not when you're traveling the world with no real financial responsibilities beyond picking up your stipend and looking for the next paying gig.
2 months you both spent alone in a foreign land made you both feel extremely strongly about each other, but it's not reality. If you go to Korea and hate it or realise she's not the one you'll resent her and kick yourself for leaving somewhere you're happy. If you convince her to leave, same risks for her.
Keep communicating and when you finish your travels, see how it pans out. Living a quiet normal life wherever you settle is the true test of a relationship, not when you're traveling the world with no real financial responsibilities beyond picking up your stipend and looking for the next paying gig.
If you are both wondering what to do (ie, who goes to whom) then perhaps the draw is just not strong enough and this is just a high level holiday romance (travel does that to people as new experiences are such a rush!). If she was the be all and end all of loves then you would just go there and do whatever it takes. If she felt the same it would be obvious. You are both umming and erring. My view is that this is not a 'must be together' love. More of a 'love to travel together' love
I guess that there is always the possibility of both running out your existing contracts, skyping everyday and making plans for the next move together.
I guess that there is always the possibility of both running out your existing contracts, skyping everyday and making plans for the next move together.
As others say, 2 months is sod-all. Enjoy your adventure, keep in touch, when it ends in G then look to move. You say that you can defer K to Feb, so do that. That's no time.
I gather you are young. It's harder when you are young (double entendre noted and intended) so the wait is tough. But do it. If you are right for each other then no ships are going to sail between now and Feb. If they do sail, then you wouldn't have wanted to be on them anyway.
For context, I'm 40-odd and been running a long distance relationship for 6 years now. Only the other end of the country and not what I would have chosen, but it works so I'm not going to try to fix it.
I gather you are young. It's harder when you are young (double entendre noted and intended) so the wait is tough. But do it. If you are right for each other then no ships are going to sail between now and Feb. If they do sail, then you wouldn't have wanted to be on them anyway.
For context, I'm 40-odd and been running a long distance relationship for 6 years now. Only the other end of the country and not what I would have chosen, but it works so I'm not going to try to fix it.
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