What do you do to deliberately wind up your other half?
Discussion
I realised when I went round to my mates last night that my wife and I aren't the only ones to do little things to deliberately wind the other person up, nothing marriage destroying just stuff that makes the other think "oh ffs not again!"
My wife used to make my lunches for me, and every time I opened my sandwiches I'd find one sandwich half with a big bite out of it. Not from the crust mind, right out of the best bit in the middle! Every day without fail.
Me? When I open a bottle of beer I always chuck the bottle top back in the cutlery draw with the bottle opener, drives her nuts! This week she's been away and I'm building a lovely collection
She spotted me doing it one day and asked why because it annoyed her. "No explanation needed hun, you've just answered your own question" 
I now know we're not alone so what does everybody else do, I don't mean leaving your underwear on the floor type stuff but deliberate actions rather than the usual lazy behaviour?
My wife used to make my lunches for me, and every time I opened my sandwiches I'd find one sandwich half with a big bite out of it. Not from the crust mind, right out of the best bit in the middle! Every day without fail.
Me? When I open a bottle of beer I always chuck the bottle top back in the cutlery draw with the bottle opener, drives her nuts! This week she's been away and I'm building a lovely collection
She spotted me doing it one day and asked why because it annoyed her. "No explanation needed hun, you've just answered your own question" I now know we're not alone so what does everybody else do, I don't mean leaving your underwear on the floor type stuff but deliberate actions rather than the usual lazy behaviour?
I walked in the house at 930 last night after a very long day at work (7am start) to find her watching f
king Love Island so loud you could hear it three houses away. When she refused to turn it down or off I walked back out and stayed at my old flat. Not heard from her since and she's not picking up the phone so I'm guessing that's done quite a good job of winding her up!
king Love Island so loud you could hear it three houses away. When she refused to turn it down or off I walked back out and stayed at my old flat. Not heard from her since and she's not picking up the phone so I'm guessing that's done quite a good job of winding her up!Many things I do, and I get blamed for stuff I dont do, piss in the toilet, that is apparently me despite there being three kids at home, got home the other day, went in the kitchen, she goes in the downstairs loo and tells me off for not flushing, despite me dying for a piss at the time and having been out for ten hours, to demonstrate I went for a long and satisfying piss but she still didnt back down as I must have gone and forgot, in 5 minutes and had only done a short piss ?
I just said you are mental, then left the next one marinading so she went mental, so i just said, yes, that one was me, if I am going to get shouted at for it, may as well save the bother of flushing.
Her family like to object and protest, her late father was a master at it "I have been wronged, whoa is me", compromise was not in his dictionary, there seems to be an element of that.
I tend to moan if something bothers me, she just tells me to shut up moaning !
I just said you are mental, then left the next one marinading so she went mental, so i just said, yes, that one was me, if I am going to get shouted at for it, may as well save the bother of flushing.
Her family like to object and protest, her late father was a master at it "I have been wronged, whoa is me", compromise was not in his dictionary, there seems to be an element of that.
I tend to moan if something bothers me, she just tells me to shut up moaning !
J4CKO said:
Many things I do, and I get blamed for stuff I dont do, piss in the toilet, that is apparently me despite there being three kids at home, got home the other day, went in the kitchen, she goes in the downstairs loo and tells me off for not flushing, despite me dying for a piss at the time and having been out for ten hours, to demonstrate I went for a long and satisfying piss but she still didnt back down as I must have gone and forgot, in 5 minutes and had only done a short piss ?
I just said you are mental, then left the next one marinading so she went mental, so i just said, yes, that one was me, if I am going to get shouted at for it, may as well save the bother of flushing.
Her family like to object and protest, her late father was a master at it "I have been wronged, whoa is me", compromise was not in his dictionary, there seems to be an element of that.
I tend to moan if something bothers me, she just tells me to shut up moaning !
Sounds lovely..I just said you are mental, then left the next one marinading so she went mental, so i just said, yes, that one was me, if I am going to get shouted at for it, may as well save the bother of flushing.
Her family like to object and protest, her late father was a master at it "I have been wronged, whoa is me", compromise was not in his dictionary, there seems to be an element of that.
I tend to moan if something bothers me, she just tells me to shut up moaning !
Never did the "playfull pranks" thing, near the end i just started deliberately not doing stuff i would otherwise as petty revenge for all those sloppy things she'd do that got on my nerves (must have asked her a million times NOT to just drop the wet towel on my end of the bed after getting out of the shower)
Loads of things.
If I am pouring myself a drink and she holds her glass up for me to pour her one too, I'll fill her glass to the absolute maximum.
When I make a cuppa and she is stood next to me in the kitchen I'll take the hot spoon and tap her bare skin with the back of it.
As she's leaving the house I'll try to attach a clothes peg to the back of her coat / jumper / skirt without her noticing.
Tap the funny bone with a pan or wooden spoon if she stood with her elbows bent.
Tap the brakes or accelerate as she takes a drink in the car.
If I am pouring myself a drink and she holds her glass up for me to pour her one too, I'll fill her glass to the absolute maximum.
When I make a cuppa and she is stood next to me in the kitchen I'll take the hot spoon and tap her bare skin with the back of it.
As she's leaving the house I'll try to attach a clothes peg to the back of her coat / jumper / skirt without her noticing.
Tap the funny bone with a pan or wooden spoon if she stood with her elbows bent.
Tap the brakes or accelerate as she takes a drink in the car.
I can't do it any more, but for a few years when she was either pregnant or breastfeeding with our two nippers, I would repeatedly catch her out with a casual, "Could you hold my beer for a moment?". She'd take it from me, and I'd quickly snap a camera-phone pic of her holding my alcoholic beverage, either with an obvious baby-bump or mid-feed.
I have a lovely collection of photos of her looking like a terrible mother. The expression on her face changing over the years from, "What are you doing?" to, "You total b*stard!", to, "Oh, not this again..." makes it even more special.
I have a lovely collection of photos of her looking like a terrible mother. The expression on her face changing over the years from, "What are you doing?" to, "You total b*stard!", to, "Oh, not this again..." makes it even more special.
Many things.
I often invest 45 minutes to an hour in removing all of her "posh" dresses - stuff she has worn once for a wedding or whatever - from her wardrobe and hang them on light fittings around the house.
Open all drawers and cupboards in the kitchen and leave them open.
Reply to text messages on her behalf in irreverent ways.
Use the screen sharing thing on my phone' youtube app to turn on a tv in the house while she is in that room studying/working or whatever, normally with Sepultura, Five Finger Death Punch or something equally soothing. This is the modern day version of having bathroom light switches outside the door.
Sit bolt upright in bed for no reason.
Wait for her to fall asleep on a long journey and initiate a heat challenge - seats and heater on full blast.
When drunk I often fling open the bedroom door at 4am, flood the room with light and begin a search of all cupboards for "insurgents", poking between hanging garments with my old hockey stick and insisting that for her own good she should be quiet yet vigiliant in the event one is uncovered.
I went through a phase of buying cheap plastic animals (in bulk) on ebay and having them delivered to her at work and home.
Standard stuff really.
I often invest 45 minutes to an hour in removing all of her "posh" dresses - stuff she has worn once for a wedding or whatever - from her wardrobe and hang them on light fittings around the house.
Open all drawers and cupboards in the kitchen and leave them open.
Reply to text messages on her behalf in irreverent ways.
Use the screen sharing thing on my phone' youtube app to turn on a tv in the house while she is in that room studying/working or whatever, normally with Sepultura, Five Finger Death Punch or something equally soothing. This is the modern day version of having bathroom light switches outside the door.
Sit bolt upright in bed for no reason.
Wait for her to fall asleep on a long journey and initiate a heat challenge - seats and heater on full blast.
When drunk I often fling open the bedroom door at 4am, flood the room with light and begin a search of all cupboards for "insurgents", poking between hanging garments with my old hockey stick and insisting that for her own good she should be quiet yet vigiliant in the event one is uncovered.
I went through a phase of buying cheap plastic animals (in bulk) on ebay and having them delivered to her at work and home.
Standard stuff really.
TartanPaint said:
I can't do it any more, but for a few years when she was either pregnant or breastfeeding with our two nippers, I would repeatedly catch her out with a casual, "Could you hold my beer for a moment?". She'd take it from me, and I'd quickly snap a camera-phone pic of her holding my alcoholic beverage, either with an obvious baby-bump or mid-feed.
I have a lovely collection of photos of her looking like a terrible mother. The expression on her face changing over the years from, "What are you doing?" to, "You total b*stard!", to, "Oh, not this again..." makes it even more special.
I have a lovely collection of photos of her looking like a terrible mother. The expression on her face changing over the years from, "What are you doing?" to, "You total b*stard!", to, "Oh, not this again..." makes it even more special.
Add dodgy films to her netflix profile. We live apart so can do this remotely.
Remove all the Pringles from the tube. Fill with crunched up newspaper and something heavy in the bottom to make the weight up. Replace 2 Pringles and lid. She loved this one especially when I did it to all 3 tubes in the cupboard.
Remove all the Pringles from the tube. Fill with crunched up newspaper and something heavy in the bottom to make the weight up. Replace 2 Pringles and lid. She loved this one especially when I did it to all 3 tubes in the cupboard.
Loving this, getting some good ideas here as well!
The light switch to the bathroom is outside the room, hence darkness prevails randomly.
The switch for the shower is outside as well, so randomly the shower gets turned off, then back on, so she gets a blast of cold water.
She does the "I need to pee" then sits there, so I turn on taps to get the sound of running water.
Many others!
The light switch to the bathroom is outside the room, hence darkness prevails randomly.
The switch for the shower is outside as well, so randomly the shower gets turned off, then back on, so she gets a blast of cold water.
She does the "I need to pee" then sits there, so I turn on taps to get the sound of running water.
Many others!
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