Stalking and harassment from ex step father in law
Discussion
Wanted to bring this up with PH to help get some thoughts on a situation.
My Wife's Mother was trapped in an abusive marriage for over a decade. Financial abuse, physical and mental abuse were all part of her day. Her husband would even smash up the house on a rather regular basis. He has assaulted her children and even attacked a pregnant woman. Yet, does not have the balls to fight a man. This is literally only the tip of the iceberg. To the outside world he acts to be the lovely little christian man. Behind closed doors he was a monster. What my Wife and I did not know a few years ago was that she went to social services and they got her emergency housing and moved her. He ended up finding her and following her home. He would take her post too. Stalk around the house watching from a distance and all that. This went on for around 17 months. But yet her mother would not phone the police. She is literally a door mat.
Yet again social services moved her and he has no idea where she is now. He has started trying to phone me and my Wife. I blocked the number that was coming up. missed call at 1am again. He has no family at all. He did have a relative but he ended up stalking them and constantly phoning her over and over. She changed her phone number. He is a total bunny boiler.
The thing for me is that I am not close to the mother in law. I hated him for all these years. So was never close to him in the slightest. I want nothing to do with it. I simply don't care at all. It is not my problem and I won't be dragged into it. My Wife feels the same. We are just worn out from all the years of dealing with it. Literally mentally drained from it all. I seriously don't think this will ever end until he is dead and buried. He also has the IQ of a bucket. Very very simple person. Some have asked if he has learning disabilities lol.
I've been reading that replying just gives them energy. They want a reply. They want to get attention. I'd love to go do something but I have too much to lose. Kids, education, career, life in general. He is simply not worth spending one day in jail over. I've been there in the past and never again. Few fellas I know said to simply ignore him and that if he comes near me or my kids to just sort it. I don't know how to handle this. Any advice would be great. This person is 100% nuts.
My Wife's Mother was trapped in an abusive marriage for over a decade. Financial abuse, physical and mental abuse were all part of her day. Her husband would even smash up the house on a rather regular basis. He has assaulted her children and even attacked a pregnant woman. Yet, does not have the balls to fight a man. This is literally only the tip of the iceberg. To the outside world he acts to be the lovely little christian man. Behind closed doors he was a monster. What my Wife and I did not know a few years ago was that she went to social services and they got her emergency housing and moved her. He ended up finding her and following her home. He would take her post too. Stalk around the house watching from a distance and all that. This went on for around 17 months. But yet her mother would not phone the police. She is literally a door mat.
Yet again social services moved her and he has no idea where she is now. He has started trying to phone me and my Wife. I blocked the number that was coming up. missed call at 1am again. He has no family at all. He did have a relative but he ended up stalking them and constantly phoning her over and over. She changed her phone number. He is a total bunny boiler.
The thing for me is that I am not close to the mother in law. I hated him for all these years. So was never close to him in the slightest. I want nothing to do with it. I simply don't care at all. It is not my problem and I won't be dragged into it. My Wife feels the same. We are just worn out from all the years of dealing with it. Literally mentally drained from it all. I seriously don't think this will ever end until he is dead and buried. He also has the IQ of a bucket. Very very simple person. Some have asked if he has learning disabilities lol.
I've been reading that replying just gives them energy. They want a reply. They want to get attention. I'd love to go do something but I have too much to lose. Kids, education, career, life in general. He is simply not worth spending one day in jail over. I've been there in the past and never again. Few fellas I know said to simply ignore him and that if he comes near me or my kids to just sort it. I don't know how to handle this. Any advice would be great. This person is 100% nuts.
Keep a record of the calls - including ones you don't answer. Then you have some choices:
1. Block his number. If he uses new ones then:
2. Call BT and get your calls screened for a couple of months. If that still doesn't stop him:
3. Call the police and report harassment. You're concerned for the safety of your family as he has a record of violence
Sympathies for your situation too, hope it works out OK.
1. Block his number. If he uses new ones then:
2. Call BT and get your calls screened for a couple of months. If that still doesn't stop him:
3. Call the police and report harassment. You're concerned for the safety of your family as he has a record of violence
Sympathies for your situation too, hope it works out OK.
Vitorio said:
Does the bunny boiler in question know where you live?
Either way, keep blocking any new numbers he uses, and report harrasment to the police, and i might consider keeping a baseball bat (or similar) near the front door, should the nutter show up on the front lawn.
Yes he knows where I live. However, I did knock him a few times once after he attacked my wife so he won't actually come near me. He is a coward who can only act the hard man to women. It is like having a parasite that we simply can't get rid off. Either way, keep blocking any new numbers he uses, and report harrasment to the police, and i might consider keeping a baseball bat (or similar) near the front door, should the nutter show up on the front lawn.
I've blocked the number. So has my Wife. I was actually planning to change my number anyway so I will call up and get that sorted.
About 15 years ago one of my best mates sister had a similar problem with an abusive ex. She went through the whole harassment thing with the police but it still continued.
We happened to bump into him one night and he may have fell and hurt himself I can't quite recollect. Whilst its not big nor clever it worked.....the harassment stopped immeadiatly and she hasnt seen or heard from him since.
We happened to bump into him one night and he may have fell and hurt himself I can't quite recollect. Whilst its not big nor clever it worked.....the harassment stopped immeadiatly and she hasnt seen or heard from him since.
zeb said:
About 15 years ago one of my best mates sister had a similar problem with an abusive ex. She went through the whole harassment thing with the police but it still continued.
We happened to bump into him one night and he may have fell and hurt himself I can't quite recollect. Whilst its not big nor clever it worked.....the harassment stopped immeadiatly and she hasnt seen or heard from him since.
After he attacked my wife a few years ago, he also may have fell over too and from that he never said boo to us ever again. This is why I'm rather amazed at how stupid he is to start trying to phone me. It shows how desperate he is to know where his ex wife is. Abusive people like him are simply parasites who want to control and destroy lives. We happened to bump into him one night and he may have fell and hurt himself I can't quite recollect. Whilst its not big nor clever it worked.....the harassment stopped immeadiatly and she hasnt seen or heard from him since.
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